


It Started With A Kiss

by Liz_87



Category: Casualty (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-05
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:15:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 45,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24556036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liz_87/pseuds/Liz_87
Summary: What if Charlie had acted on his feelings for Duffy right from the start?
Relationships: Lisa "Duffy" Duffin/Charlie Fairhead
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

Charlie stood not far from the entrance to the department smoking a cigarette. His shift had not long finished but he didn't feel in the mood to head home yet. He was too riled up, so he stood watching the sun rise over the building opposite hoping the view plus the nicotine now surging through his system would help to calm him.

He was coming to the conclusion that he'd never understand women. All he'd done was ask Baz if she was ok, she'd seemed preoccupied and upset. He'd been trying to do the right thing, behave how a dutiful boyfriend should, but she'd totally lost her temper and thrown a hissy fit at him. Well, sod her quite frankly. He closed his eyes and took a long drag on the cigarette. Suddenly a voice spoke from behind him.

"Smoking's bad for you, you should pack it in."

He sighed and took another drag. "You're one to talk about healthy lifestyles, Duffy, that breakfast I saw you gleefully tucking into earlier didn't look much like rabbit food to me."

She moved to stand beside him, folding her arms. "At least I keep trying. Have you even attempted to quit?"

"I'm not in the mood for a lecture. Just go away and leave me alone!" He replied more sharply than he intended.

"Just coz you've fallen out with your girlfriend. Don't take it out on me!" She countered and began to walk away.

"She's not my..!" Charlie snapped before pausing. He sighed. "Oh I don't know anymore." He shrugged. 

Duffy stopped and turned. "Fancy a coffee to take your mind off things?"

"Sure, why not?" He shrugged.

They ended up in a small cafe a couple of streets away from the hospital. The conversation was light and Charlie began to relax. Duffy did always seem to know just how to make him smile. He found himself becoming distracted by the way her whole face lit up when she giggled. When he'd first met her he'd thought she was pretty but a bit thick. He'd quickly discovered, however, that despite her local girl accent making her sound like she wasn't the brightest, this kid had hidden depths.

"Charlie?"

Duffy's voice broke through his thoughts. He looked down at the table bashfully. It wasn't the first time he'd been caught staring at her. He'd previously gotten quite the lecture from Megan about inappropriateness after she'd caught him admiring the view when Duffy had bent over in front of him to retrieve something from a low cupboard during a shift. He'd brushed it off with the counter argument that he hadn't had much choice given the proximity of Duffy's backside to his face at that particular moment.

He gave her a crooked grin. "Sorry, you were saying..?"

She grinned back, unable to resist his cheeky charm. "Doesn't matter. I think we're both getting tired. Time to head home for some sleep before our shifts tonight."

"Yeh, you're right, it's getting late. I can give you a lift home, save you waiting for the bus?"

"Thanks, that would be great."

Charlie paid for the coffees and then drove the couple of miles to Duffy's home. They pulled up outside the block of flats she lived in and he turned to face her.

"Thanks for cheering me up, I really appreciate it."

She reached over and placed her hand over his, giving it a gentle squeeze as it rested on top of the gear lever.

"Anytime, I had fun." She smiled.

Without thinking he lent over and gave her a light kiss. Pulling back he saw she looked shocked by his actions. He was about to apologise for overstepping the mark when she lent forward and returned the kiss. He reached out to cup her cheek, his fingers tangling into her hair. Her lips were warm and soft against his. He was surprised to feel the tip of her tongue slide along his bottom lip. He parted his lips and allowed the kiss to deepen.

A few moments later they parted. Duffy blushed and started to turn away. Charlie gently took hold of her chin to stop her, turning her face to look at him once again.

"I've wanted to do that for a while, kiss you I mean." He admitted quietly.

She bit her lip nervously. "Yeh, I've wanted to kiss you too but didn't think you were interested."

Charlie lent forward once more and kissed her again. As they parted he smiled. "Oh I'm interested."

Duffy turned to open the car door and climb out. She looked back over her shoulder at Charlie. "You can come up for a coffee if you like?" She suggested with a wink.

Charlie didn't need asking twice. He quickly got out the car and followed her up the stairs to her flat. They'd barely gotten through the door when he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her towards him for another kiss.

She giggled as he kissed his way down her neck and nibbled at her collarbone. "Mmm, someone's keen!"

Charlie slide his hand down and grasped her bottom. Their kisses intensified as they stumbled across the room before toppling and landing on the sofa. Duffy gazed up at him and began to undo the top few buttons of his shirt. Charlie pushed up her top and began to grope at her breasts. She gasped as he ran his thumbs over her nipples through the fabric of her bra. His hand moved to work it's way up under her skirt. Duffy shifted to allow him better access but as she did a strange clunking noise came from the sofa. Charlie looked at her confused, his eyebrow raised.

Duffy blushed and giggled nervously. "The back of the sofa's a bit broken. I've been meaning to replace it but I was skint."

"Ah. Well, rather than break it further shall we continue this somewhere a bit more comfortable?"

"Sure."

They got up from the sofa and walked across the room to her bedroom. Duffy pushed open the door. Charlie glanced around the room, there were clothes and other items strewn everywhere including across the single bed that took up most of the space in the tiny room. Charlie tilted his head and regarded her with an amused expression on his face. She glared at him briefly but her face soon broke into a grin. She took a couple of steps towards the bed and quickly swept the clutter onto the floor. She sat on the bed, pulled her tshirt off over her head and lent back on her hands.

"Well..?" She smirked up at him.

Leaving the doorway Charlie walked over to the bed, unbuttoning the rest of his shirt as he did so. He lent over and kissed her. Reaching up she wrapped a hand around the back of his head, her fingers tangling in his curly hair. As the kiss deepened he pushed her backwards til she lay on the bed and then moved to press his body against hers. As they continued to kiss she could feel his excitement pressed against her as he lay between her parted thighs.

Once more his hands began to roam under her skirt, this time succeeding in reaching the edge of her knickers. He ran his fingertip under the lace edging, teasing her. He then pushed up her skirt and pulled down her knickers. Sitting up slightly he took a few moments to savour the sight of her lying semi-naked on the bed. She began to feel a little self conscious under his gaze. She was about to speak when he smiled and lowered his head between her thighs. She felt herself quickly grow wet as he used his fingers and then his tongue to pleasure her. The few men she'd been with previously had mostly only been concerned with how she could pleasure them during foreplay so this was a whole new experience to her and she found she very much enjoyed it.

He felt himself growing harder at the sound of her moans of pleasure. He sat back and continued to caress her with his fingers as he watched her orgasm wash over her. She let out a final long moan and then fell silent. After a few moments she opened her eyes, sat up slightly and saw he was grinning at her.

"What's so funny?" She asked.

"I didn't expect you to be quite so loud." He replied.

She blushed. "Sorry." She mumbled.

He took hold of her hand and placed it over his bulging crotch. "Trust me, I'm not complaining."

Sitting up properly she moved her hands to unbuckle his belt and undo his trousers. He shifted position so she could push them down along with his boxers, freeing his manhood from its constraints. Her eyes instantly widened and she bit her bottom lip. He was larger than she'd imagined even in her wildest fantasies. She reached out her hand and ran it along the length of him slowly.

The touch of her hand and the look of wide-eyed innocence on her face were very nearly too much for him. He tried to focus on a spot on the wall opposite him as he felt her take him into her mouth. He let out a deep moan as she sucked and grazed her teeth along the length of his cock. He looked down at her and it took all his self restraint not to come instantly at how deeply she took him into her mouth whilst still maintaining a look of pure innocence in her gorgeous green eyes.

Charlie quickly pulled back from her. He pushed Duffy back onto the bed. He crawled back between her parted thighs and entered her firmly. She let out a gasp. He pulled down the straps of her bra exposing her breasts as she wrapped her legs up around his waist to allow him to thrust deeply into her. He took one of her nipples into his mouth teasing her with his tongue and nipping at it with his teeth. Her moans spurred him on more, his thrusts grew harder and faster til he could hold back no more, he shouted her name as he came, his hot juices pouring forth into her before he slumped exhausted onto her chest.

A few moments later Charlie pushed himself back up and reached over the side of the bed into the pocket of his trousers to retrieve his cigarettes and lighter. Taking one out of the packet he rolled onto his back and lit it before taking a long drag. He took a couple more drags before Duffy reached over and took the cigarette from him. He was expecting her to put it out and look at him disapprovingly but she took him by surprise as she brought the cigarette to her own lips and inhaled deeply. She smirked as she blew the smoke slowly out. He watched mesmerised, only snapping out of his daze as she began to cough.

Charlie reached over and took the cigarette from Duffy as she continued to cough. He took a final drag on it before extinguishing it in a glass of water on the bedside table.

"You're right, smoking is bad for you!" He smirked.

She glared at him. "I saw it in a film, it seemed like a good idea." She spluttered.

Charlie laughed. "Do you want me to get you a drink?"

"No, I'll be ok." She yawned. Nervousness filled her eyes. "You can stay here if you like." She whispered.

He stroked her cheek. "I'd like that."

Despite the small size of the bed they were able to find a way to both lie down comfortably. Duffy rested her head on Charlie's chest and they were both soon fast asleep.

They'd decided to arrive at work seperately later that evening so as not to arouse suspicion. Charlie had barely had chance to get himself a cup of coffee before Baz had cornered him in the staffroom saying she needed to speak to him. He and Duffy barely saw each other for most of the rest of the evening. It was very busy however so Duffy had no reason to be concerned or suspect that Charlie was avoiding her. She had brushed off Megan's questions when the older woman had commented on her sudden good mood and had merely giggled at Megan's remark of "I'd say by the looks of that grin that someone has gotten herself a boyfriend!"

It was around 2am when Duffy wandered out into the car park having seen Charlie head out there a few minutes previously. She glanced around to check that no-one else was around to see them before she walked up behind him and slipped her arms around his waist. 

"Hey you!" She whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek. "I've been wanting to do that all evening." 

He sighed and pulled away from her. She tilted her head, her face filled with confusion. "What's the matter?" She asked.

"I'm sorry. I can't... We can't..." He stuttered.

"I don't understand. Everything was fine earlier. Did Megan speak to you or something? I didn't tell her anything I swear! I knew you wanted to keep it between us til after you'd spoken to Baz."

"Its not that. It's... It's... Oh Duffy, I..." He closed his eyes briefly and tried to compose himself. Taking a deep breath in, he opened his eyes once more and looked over at her. "Baz is pregnant, I can't break up with her, not now."

Duffy felt her heart shatter but put on a brave face. "I understand. You need to be there for your child Charlie. I won't stand in the way of that." She turned to walk away but he grabbed her hand. "Charlie, please don't..." She looked up at him and saw the pain in his eyes. She allowed him to pull her into his arms one last time. Their lips met in a kiss filled with longing and regret.

Duffy turned and ran out into the car park. She sat down behind a tree on the farest side from the building. She placed her head in her hands and cried.


	2. Chapter 2

Duffy awoke suddenly with a scream. She lay in her bed, bathed in sweat and clutching the sheets in terror. Breathing heavily she turned to look at the clock. 10.35am. She'd only been asleep a little over an hour before once again the nightmares had invaded her thoughts, taking her back to that alleyway, back to that night. She attempted to settle back to sleep. She couldn't go to work exhausted again. She'd just managed to get comfortable when she felt the now familiar sensation of bile rising up her throat.

Pulling back the covers she shivered, the thin glass in the windows not providing much protection against the cold December air. Clutching a hand to her mouth she dashed into the bathroom and slumped in front of the toilet. After vomiting several times she pushed herself back to standing and stumbled back to bed.

The sound of her alarm awoke her after several hours of fitful sleep, punctuated by more nightmares and vomiting. She dragged herself out of bed, washed and cleaned her teeth in a haze. Grabbing a clean uniform from the chair she slipped it on and fastened the buttons. 

She reached for her belt and wrapped it around her waist. She pulled the two halves of the clasp towards each other but they wouldn't meet. She sighed and took a deep breath in but still the belt wouldn't fasten. As she adjusted the length of the belt she glanced over at the mirror that was propped against the opposite wall. She turned to one side and studied her figure. She ran her hand down the front of her uniform, pressing it flush against her skin. It would be barely noticeable to anyone else but she could see why the belt was too tight, her stomach was beginning to swell with the slight hint of a bump. She knew she wouldn't be able to hide it for long.

Duffy sat on the edge of the bed to put on her tights and shoes. She quickly looked over at the clock. It was already 7.25pm. She was going to be late again. Her chest tightened, she'd been late that night too, that's why she'd taken the shortcut through the alleyway. She'd overslept after spending most of the day with her head over the toilet due to the ravages of morning sickness.

She'd been terrified that she would lose the baby as a result of the attack but a scan at the local women's clinic a few days later had soothed her fears. She had another appointment after her shift to check the results of some tests they'd run.

She grabbed her coat and headed out the door. She wasn't looking forward to going into work. It had been just over a week since Charlie had announced to the team that he and Baz were engaged. She wasn't sure if it was just wishful thinking on her part but she couldn't help but feel that Baz had looked rather uncomfortable at the attention lavished on her by Charlie now that the other woman's pregnancy was starting to become obvious to everyone.

She eventually arrived at work 45 minutes late. She tried to sneak in and begin working without anyone noticing but that failed spectacularly and within a matter of minutes she found herself on the receiving end of Charlie's wrath over her time keeping. She ran off in tears and locked herself in the toilets. Moments later she heard the door open and Megan's voice begin speaking.

"Try not to take it to heart pet, he's just in a foul mood because Baz called in sick and when he called to check she was OK she hung up on him."

The lock clicked back and Duffy opened the cubicle door. Megan was shocked by the young woman's appearance. Duffy's green eyes were framed with deep, dark circles and her skin was deathly pale where it wasn't red and blotchy from crying. She placed her arms around Duffy's shoulders and pulled her into a hug.

"Oh pet, you need to go see your doctor if you're still not sleeping right."

"I'm fine." Duffy mumbled.

Megan stepped backwards and took hold of Duffy's face in her hands. "No you're not. I know you don't want to talk about it but you need to do something. I can't bare watching you fall apart like this."

Moving away from Megan, Duffy lent backwards against the sinks. "I'll be OK. I have to be." She fiddled with her fingers nervously. "I'm pregnant, Megan."

A look of horror crossed Megan's face. "Oh Duffy, please tell me it's not..." She began.

"No! He didn't hurt me like that. I was already pregnant when he beat me up."

"Then who..?"

Duffy looked down at the floor as she replied. "An ex-boyfriend. I didn't find out til after we'd split up."

"Have you told him?" Megan queried.

"No."

"You need to Duffy, he has a right to know!"

"I can't. He's got a fi... a girlfriend."

"He also has a responsibility to support you and the baby."

"I don't need his support. I can manage by myself! My mum managed alright with me." Duffy countered before storming out of the toilets.

It was 9.30am the next day when Duffy arrived at the clinic. Her appointment wasn't until 9.50am but she'd come straight from work. As she stood in the queue to the reception desk she heard the door to one of the offices open and a familiar voice speaking to the doctor.

"So I'm OK to return to work this evening?" Baz queried.

"Yes. Though the termination procedure we used was carried out at a later stage than is usually ideal, everything went according to plan so you shouldn't have any further issues. Obviously if you experience any of the side effects listed in the leaflet then contact your own doctor straight away or come back here."

They shook hands and Baz turned to walk away.

Duffy could barely believe her ears. Baz had had an abortion?! She pretended to search for something in her bag in the hope that Baz wouldn't see her and realise that she had overheard.

She wasn't sure why but something made Baz pause and turn around as she neared the exit. Casting her eyes over the room she suddenly spotted a young woman with long red hair. She focused more closely on the woman for a few moments before shaking her head. No it couldn't be her. Baz started to walk back towards the door and then stopped again to take one final look at her just as the woman turned away from the desk and her face became visible. Baz's eyes widened and she ran from the building.

Duffy's head was still whirling over what she had heard by the time she arrived at work that evening. She was broken from her haze by Susie calling her over from the desk.

"I wanted to warn you to tread carefully around Charlie and Baz." Susie whispered.

"Why? What's happened?" Duffy replied.

"Baz had a miscarriage, that's why she's been off sick."

"No, she had an abortion!" The words were out of Duffy's mouth before she had chance to engage her brain and stop them. She looked pleadingly at Susie. "Shit! You can't tell anyone that, promise me you won't Susie!"

After making Susie swear not to breath a word about things to anyone Duffy tried her best to get on with her work and avoid Baz. She managed to do so until about 1am when she and Megan went to the staffroom to make a quick cup of tea. As Duffy pushed open the door they realised they were interrupting Charlie and Baz in the middle of an all mighty row. They attempted to leave but Baz spun around, saw Duffy and pointed at her angrily.

"Oh look Charlie, here's your shit stirring little friend come to watch the fireworks. Go on, take a seat, both of you, and get comfortable. This is far from over!"

"What the hell has this got to do with Duffy?" Charlie demanded.

Megan nudged Duffy further through the doorway so she could close the door behind them all, in the hopes that the argument wouldn't be heard all across the department. She had a horrible feeling about where this was going to go, she just hoped that for once she was wrong.

"Well how else did everyone find out? She was at the clinic this morning."

Charlie turned and began to reach out a concerned hand towards Duffy but stopped as he saw the glare Baz gave him. "Are you OK? Why were you there?"

Duffy shifted her feet and looked at the ground. Megan placed her hand on Duffy's arm, looked over at Charlie and silently shook her head.

Reading the look in Megan's eyes Charlie wisely chose to not continue to question Duffy over it. Baz, on the other hand, wasn't so concerned with sparing Duffy's feelings. 

"Oh we all know why she was there. She's not a very good liar afterall." 

Anger flashed across Duffy's eyes. "Did Charlie even know that's what you planned to do? Or were you expecting him to just swallow the same line you fed all of us?" She paused before continuing. "I thought as much! Did you ever care about him or was he always just a convenient plaything for you to use and abuse?"

"How dare you!" Baz lunged forward and shoved Duffy with great force. Taken by surprise, Duffy stumbled backwards, letting out a startled yelp as she fell. Megan shot out an arm to try and catch Duffy but she collided with a chair before she was able to steady herself.

"Just because you didn't want your baby..!" Megan accused as she rushed to check on Duffy who was bent forward, one arm across her abdomen, the other hand rubbing her hip.

Duffy brushed away Megan's concern. "I'm fine." She said, standing up straighter but still rubbing her hip.

"You're pregnant? You never said..." Charlie whispered, his gaze lowering to stare at her abdomen.

"I couldn't." She replied softly.

Megan looked from Duffy to Charlie and back again. Duffy was looking increasingly agitated and Charlie was beginning to blush. Duffy had said that the baby's father had a girlfriend but she'd stumbled over the word, as though she'd been about to say something else but had stopped herself. A realisation hit her, she'd been about to say 'fiancee'..! "Oh sweet Jesus!" She gasped. 

Duffy turned to look over at Megan her eyes full of panic. "Megan please!" She begged. 

"Is that why you wanted everyone to know what I'd done? Because you were angry that I'd had the guts to take control of my life when you can't?" Baz questioned bitterly, still oblivious to the full extent of the revelation. 

"Baz, come on! That's unfair..." Charlie interjected. 

"It's always all about you and what you want isn't it? I couldn't be so selfish. I've made sacrifices for those I love. You never even asked Charlie how he felt." Duffy shot back.

"It's my body! He doesn't get a say in what I do with it." Baz countered.

"He has a right to have a say, he's the baby's father." Megan pointed out.

"Not any longer he isn't." Baz replied.

A brief silence descended over the group, broken by the sound of Charlie sighing as he rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. 

"Were you planning to lie to me too?" He asked Duffy, his voice no more than a heartbroken whisper. 

Duffy began to cry. "I didn't know what to do. I was confused, scared. You seemed happy. I didn't want to ruin that for you. So I tried to cope on my own." 

Charlie couldn't bare seeing Duffy so upset. He felt strongly that he had to comfort her regardless of how it would look to Baz. He reached out and placed his arms around her shoulders, drawing her in close to his body. "You should never try and cope with things alone." 

As Baz watched the exchange she suddenly recalled something from a couple of months ago. "When I told you I was pregnant I'd been trying to call you all day. I even went round to your house but couldn't find you. When I finally did see you at work you said you had something to tell me but let me go first. I dismissed it at the time but now I see, you were with her weren't you? I knew she had a silly schoolgirl crush on you, you'd have to be blind not to but I thought you had more taste! She's just a dirty little tart from the wrong part of town."

"How dare you..!" Charlie began.

"Seriously Charlie, if I'd known that you liked your partners young and trashy then I really wouldn't have bothered."

"And if I'd known you were such a spiteful, manipulative bitch then I wouldn't have bothered either!"

"You know what? You're welcome to each other!" A nasty smile formed on her lips. "Best hope he doesn't lose interest and trade you in for a younger model once he realises how much a kid will tie him down, hey Duff!" She walked over to her locker and grabbed her bag and coat. As she reached the door she turned back towards the others. "Well, I can't wait to see Ewart's face when I tell him exactly why I quit with immediate effect." She opened the door, walked through it and slammed it behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

Charlie turned towards Megan and sighed. "Go on then, your turn..!"

Megan shook her head. "Nothing I could say could come anywhere close to describing the utter chaos you have caused with your behaviour Charlie! And even if I did you wouldn't listen anyway, you've proved that by the very fact we're stood here having this conversation. How could you be so irresponsible?" She paused and took a breath. "So what are the pair of you going to do now?"

Duffy's eyes were fixed on the door that Baz had just stormed out of. "You need to speak to her Charlie, you need to stop her before she speaks to Ewart."

"Nothing I say will make a blind bit of difference..." Charlie sighed.

The panic in Duffy's voice increased. "She'll make it sound worse than it is. She could ruin you!" She sighed and pulled away from Charlie's embrace. "Shall I go then? Someone needs to try and convince her to not blurt out whatever makes us look the worst!"

"No I'll go. This needs a sensible head which is not something either of you are in possession of right now! Might I suggest you both have a good long think about what happens next? Now there's more than just the two of you to consider." Megan suggested. She sighed as both Charlie and Duffy suddenly found their footwear extremely fascinating. Shaking her head she left the room in search of Baz.

After the door shut Charlie walked over to the sink, filled and turned on the kettle. As it boiled he stared at the wall and rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. This was not how he'd imagined his night turning out when he'd first heard the rumours flying around the department. He heard a rustling noise behind him and turned to see that Duffy had sat down in one of the chairs, her head in her hands, her elbows resting on her knees. He was about to go back to preparing his tea when she started to cry. Sighing, he placed the empty cup back down on the sideboard, crossed the room and crouched down beside her. He placed his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry." He whispered.

Duffy looked up, her cheeks streaked with tears. "What for?"

"For picking her. I made the wrong choice."

"You didn't really have a choice, you had a duty. Is that what you're doing now?"

Charlie opened his mouth to reply but she continued.

"You picked her because she was pregnant with your child. How do I know you're not just doing the same thing again now?"

"I admit part of me does feel a sense of responsibility towards you..." He saw her face begin to cloud over. "Wait! Hear me out before you explode! Yes, I understand it's expected of me to step up and take responsibility for the consequences of my actions but it's not just that. I care about you. I care a lot. When..." His voice caught in his throat, he couldn't continue.

"What is it?"

Charlie took his hand from her shoulder and shifted to sit on the floor, staring at his hands clasped on his knees. "I would have killed him."

"Who?"

"The bastard that hurt you. When I saw what he'd done to you... I've never felt rage like it." He mumbled, unable to look at her.

Duffy slowly got up from the chair and walked around it to where he was and sat down on the floor next to him, mirroring his posture. After a few moments of silence she gently lay her head on his shoulder. 

They sat like that for several moments before Charlie finally spoke again. "So what happens now?"

"We should probably wait a while for things to blow over a bit."

Charlie tilted his head to look at her. "Is that possible?" He queried.

"Only you and Megan know. Well, and Baz." She added darkly.

"Hopefully she'll keep her mouth shut. I wouldn't bank on that though."

Silence descended over the pair once more. After several minutes Charlie spoke. "I hope she has your eyes."

"What?"

"And red hair."

Duffy smiled. "Your skin tone though. Its a nightmare being this pale in the summer." She grumbled. 

"You work nights, you barely see the sun!" He chuckled.

She wrinkled her nose and narrowed her eyes in amused irritation. "Curls would be cute." She mused. Suddenly she lifted her head up and turned to face him. "This is actually happening isn't it? We're going to be parents. This is insane!"

Charlie couldn't wipe the big dopey grin from his face. "Completely insane. And yet..." He chuckled. "I don't know about you but my backside has gone completely numb sitting down here. So how about we get up and have a cuppa?" He grimaced as he stood before reaching out a hand to help Duffy stand.

Charlie made the drinks and they both lent against the edge of the sink whilst they sipped at their tea, each of them sneaking a glance at the other when they weren't looking. Charlie noticed Duffy fiddling with her uniform belt as she drank her tea. "If it's bothering you take it off." He suggested.

"I can't, it's part of my uniform, I'll get in trouble." She replied with a chuckle.

"I won't say anything." He pointed out.

She flashed him a grateful smile before quickly unclipping the belt and placing it on the side.

Charlie glanced at her waist and then looked away nervously.

"What is it Charlie?" Duffy asked.

A bashful blush appeared on his cheeks at having been caught out. "Can I..?" His hand moved slightly towards her. She smiled and nodded. He reached out and placed his hand tentatively on her stomach. He tried to speak but the overwhelming emotions he felt choked off his words.

They jumped apart as they heard the door handle begin to turn. Looking over they saw Susie's head appear around the door.

"Ewart just rang down. Wants you both in his office right away. He didn't say why." She told them.

They shared a glance and Charlie swallowed nervously. Time to face the music. They just had to hope that Megan had managed to talk Baz round somewhat. They left the staffroom and traipsed up the stairs to the office. Once at the door Charlie knocked and waited til a call came to come in.

Entering the office Duffy felt immediately anxious seeing Baz stood lent against the wall, her arms crossed, a scowl on her face.

Ewart looked at each of them in turn. He sighed. "It's been brought to my attention that there seems to be something of a problem that's developed. Who wants to go first?"

"I think the slut that caused all this should start." Baz suggested.

"Baz..!" Megan cautioned from where she stood beside Ewart's desk.

"What? I'm not the one who slept with another woman's boyfriend."

"Oh so we were in a relationship then? I wasn't sure given how you had a termination without so much as mentioning it to me beforehand." Charlie remarked angrily.

"I'm surprised you're still upset about that given you'd already produced a back up baby."

"You bitch!" He spat.

"Well why else would you sleep with her?"

"I think everyone needs to calm down..." Ewart began.

"No, I want to hear his answer. She must be a right dirty whore in the bedroom coz I doubt she's much good at intellectual conversations."

"All nurses are stupid are we? You'll go far as a doctor with that attitude I'm sure. I don't have to justify anything I do to you, not anymore, you sacrificed the right to demand explanations when you set foot in that clinic."

"It seems we're looking at two seperate issues here. I'm not interested in the ins and outs of who did what with whom and when or why they did it. What I am interested in is how all this will impact the three of you professionally." Ewart explained.

"Professional? It's hardly professional to employ a charge nurse who sleeps with junior nurses." Baz scoffed.

Ewart sighed and looked over at Megan. He then turned to address the others. "I think the best thing for the moment is for the three of you to go back downstairs and carry on with your shifts while I try to work out the best way to deal with all of this."

"No, I'm leaving right now." Baz insisted.

"Baz please! There's one week left to run on this permanent night shift trial, I can't get another doctor at such short notice. I need you to stay for the sake of the patients." Ewart pleaded.

"Fine! One week and then I'm gone." Baz stated before turning on her heels and storming out the office.

Ewart turned to Charlie and Duffy. "Just stay out of her way for the rest of the shift please." They both nodded awkwardly and left the room.

Ewart sat down at his desk with a sigh and turned to Megan. "Well..."

Megan sighed. "I feared something like this might happen. I never imagined it would go this far, I thought they'd all have a bit more common sense than that, but, well... All three of them are so ridiculously stubborn it was bound to end in tears at some point."

"You knew something was going on? Why on earth didn't you say something?"

"I did. I spoke to Charlie, told him to steer clear of Duffy. You know what young girls are like with crushes, I didn't want her getting the wrong idea about the situation and ending up hurt. Next thing I hear he'd taken up with Baz so I thought it was all dealt with."

"So how do we deal with the situation now? It concerns me how quiet Lisa was, this is the last thing she needs on top of everything else. Has she spoken to you at all?"

"A little. I don't think she's coping at all well but she won't open up about it. It's plain to see from just looking at her that she's not sleeping."

"Maybe she'll open up to Charlie about it?" Ewart suggested with a shrug.

"I doubt it. I don't think she's even admitted to herself what happened that night."

"You're probably right." Ewart rubbed his hand across his forehead. "So do we just hope the three of them keep their heads down for the next week?"

"I think it's all we can do really." Megan replied glumly.

The next couple of days managed to pass without any further fights between the three of them. That was until Ewart gathered the entire team into the staffroom at the end of the shift to announce the outcome of the permanent night-shift trial.

"First of all I'd like to thank you all for your hard work and dedication over the last few months. Unfortunately the trust has decided not to continue with the night shift. I will of course be challenging that decision over the coming days, weeks and months, as long as it takes to have the decision reversed. In the meantime I would like to propose a toast to us all."

He picked up the bottle of champagne and opened it to the cheers and laughter of those gathered in the room. Susie grabbed the plastic cups and began to pass them around as Ewart filled them. She went to pass a cup to Duffy but the other woman refused the drink. Susie gave her a confused look and then simply shrugged as Duffy shook her head.

Baz saw the exchange and smirked. Raising her voice so it was loud enough to be heard across the room she spoke. "It's not like you to refuse a free drink Duffy, you feeling alright?"

All eyes in the room turned to look at Duffy. "I... I'm, um, on antibiotics." She replied, clearly flustered.

"Oh that old excuse. Very original!" Baz mocked.

"Leave her alone Baz!" Charlie interjected.

"Trust you to jump to her defense!" Baz shot back.

"Drop it Baz. Please." Charlie replied firmly.

"No I won't. She told everyone my private business so it's only fair that I get to return the favour." She cleared her throat dramatically. "It turns out that Charlie has been keeping his options open these last few months and is going to be a dad afterall."

Susie turned to stare at Duffy. "Why didn't you tell me? I thought we were mates!"

"Seems she didn't want everyone knowing her dirty little secret."

"Baz that is enough!" Megan scolded.

"No its not! I have an abortion and I'm Satan personified yet it's perfectly fine for her to go sleeping around with other women's blokes." She turned to Charlie. "I wouldn't be quite so quick to take her word that the kid is even yours if I were you!"

"Enough!" Ewart bellowed. It was rare that he shouted so everyone was immediately stunned into silence. He lowered his voice back to its normal speaking level. "Baz I think it would be best if you left right now." He turned to where Megan was consoling a sobbing Duffy. "Take her upstairs to my office."

Charlie attempted to follow but Ewart flashed him a look to stay put. He dismissed the others and after they left turned to Charlie. "Go home. You've caused enough chaos in that girl's life for several lifetimes."

Charlie prepared to argue but instead uttered a disgusted noise, grabbed his coat and stormed outside.

Upstairs in Ewart's office Duffy had yet to stop crying. "They all hate me don't they? I didn't mean for all this to happen. They'd had a row, he was going to break up with her."

"Sssh! Try not to upset yourself so much pet. It's not good for the baby." Megan soothed, her arm around Duffy's shoulders.

"What the hell am I going to do? I can't do this by myself. He's not going to want anything to do with me now though is he? It's all such a mess!" She looked up at the sound of the door opening quietly. Disappointment washed over her as she realised that Ewart was alone.

"Charlie has gone home. I think it's a good idea for you both to have some space to think." Ewart explained.

"I'll ask Ted to drop you off on our way home." Megan suggested to Duffy gently.

"No, I can make my own way home. Probably best I get used to doing things by myself." Duffy replied as she stood up. She wiped her hands across her face. "I'll see you both tonight." She said and left the office.

She made her way downstairs and collected her coat and bag from her locker. She pulled the collar up around her face as she stepped out into the cold winter air. She began to walk across the car park towards the bus stop when she heard a voice loudly whisper her name. Spinning around it took her a moment to realise the voice was coming from behind a nearby tree. She walked over and found Charlie lent against the trunk.

"I'm not supposed to speak to you but..." He shrugged and rolled his eyes. They stood quietly for a few moments, neither entirely sure what to say to the other.

"About what..."

"I'm sorry..."

They chuckled as they both began to speak at once. "Ladies first." Charlie insisted.

"It isn't true what Baz said earlier. The baby is yours."

Charlie reached out to caress her cheek. He looked into her eyes. "I never doubted it." He wrapped his arms around her and placed a gentle kiss on her hair.

Duffy wrapped her arms around Charlie's waist and rested her head on his chest. They stood like that for several moments, content in each others arms. Finally she looked up at him and smiled. He lowered his head and kissed her.

On the other side of the car park Ewart and Megan walked out of the main entrance. Megan looked around to try and spot Ted's taxi but instead her gaze was caught by the sight of Charlie and Duffy lent against the tree. She nudged Ewart and drew his attention to the couple.

"I told him to go home!" Ewart remarked.

"I think we may have misjudged things Ewart." Megan mused.

"How so?"

"I think there might be more to those two than simply a moment of madness that got out of hand." She smiled indulgently at the pair. "I think they're falling in love."


	4. Chapter 4

Christmas and New Year came and went, the night shift team was scattered to the winds and the hospital gossips found a new target for their whisperings.

Charlie looked up from his coffee as Duffy entered the canteen. Whilst he'd been kept on in the casualty department, swapping to daytime shifts, she'd been transferred to orthopaedics, a move she wasn't thrilled with but it could have been a lot worse. He watched her cross the room towards him carrying a tray of food. As she reached the table she smiled at him.

"Is this seat taken?"

"Not at all." He replied, gesturing for her to sit down. "How's your morning been?"

"Boring." She rolled her eyes and took a bite of her sandwich. "I miss being in the thick of things downstairs."

"Its not like you'd be in allowed in crash anyway if you were still working downstairs." Charlie remarked. 

Duffy sighed. "You're as bad as Sister Michaels! She's already trying to put me on light duties." She looked down at her lap, her hand gently rubbing her small but noticeable bump. "I'm not an invalid!" She shot back, looking up to glare at him. 

Charlie sighed but said nothing. He didn't want to risk making her mood worse. He was only trying to look out for her and for their baby! Her behaviour had been so unpredictable these past few weeks. She'd start to let him get close only to suddenly throw up her defences out of nowhere. At first he'd put it down to hormones and the stress of how everything had gotten out but he was increasingly starting to believe there was more to it than that.

They continued to eat, the silence between them growing awkward. Duffy began to yawn. Charlie smiled and chuckled lightly. "I was going to ask if you fancied having dinner together after work but if you're too tired we can do it another time."

"I'm fine!" She snapped before taking a breath and smiling apologetically at him. "My body's still not quite gotten used to the switch from nights to days that's all. Dinner would be lovely." A lie, such a lie! The truth was that she found herself unable to sleep at all in the dark. She was having to leave all the lights on in an attempt to force her body to let her rest. Nightmares of that night still plagued her but she couldn't tell Charlie that. It wasn't that she didn't trust him, no, talking about it would mean facing up to what had really happened that night. She wasn't ready for that.

They finished eating their food and went their separate ways to complete their shifts. Later that evening Charlie stood waiting for Duffy outside the entrance to the hospital. She was running late and as he stood there he could feel his fingers beginning to twitch. He sighed and reached into his pocket, pulling out a cigarette and his lighter. He calmed within seconds of taking his first long drag on it. He continued to smoke until he heard her voice behind him.

"Busted!" She laughed.

He flicked the cigarette to the ground and crushed it with his foot. "That's only my third of the day. I am trying." He offered his arm towards her and she linked hers through it. As he lent over to kiss her he noticed that her hair was down and curled slightly to frame her face. She'd also redone her make up. "Oh so that's what took you so long!" He chuckled as he kissed her cheek.

She smiled shyly as they began to walk away from the building. "You said you were taking me out for dinner so I thought I'd better make an effort. Luckily there's a couple of things in my locker that still fit."

"You'd look beautiful whatever you wore." He replied causing her to blush.

The restaurant Charlie had picked was only a short walk from the hospital so they were soon seated at their table. "I miss working with the old gang, the day shift staff are nowhere near as much fun!" He complained.

"Yeh I miss being sent by Ewart to 'accidently' borrow equipment from neighbouring wards. I'd gotten quite good at not getting caught." She giggled.

"Its that innocent looking face of yours. No-one would suspect you could be so naughty!"

"Including you?"

"Oh I know how naughty you can be. It's one of the things I like best about you!" He replied, placing his hand on her knee.

Duffy blushed, coughed awkwardly and pulled away from his touch leaving Charlie utterly confused once again.

Their food arrived and they began eating. Charlie took the opportunity to study Duffy more closely whilst she was distracted by the meal. The first thing he noticed was her eyes. The make up around them seemed heavier, like she was covering something. That usually meant one of two things - tiredness or bruising. Given she was now working up on a ward it was highly doubtful that a patient had smacked her, those sorts of shenanigans only tended to happen down in the casualty department so that left tiredness. That would also fit with the yawning and snappy temper she'd frequently displayed recently. It could all be down to her pregnancy wreaking havoc with her system but his nursing instincts told him it was more than that.

"Charlie. Charlie!"

He snapped out of his thoughts. "Huh?"

"Are you going to eat your food or stare at me all night?" She chided, her eyebrow raised in amusement.

"Sorry I got distracted. I should probably eat this before it gets cold."

As he ate his food his mind wandered back to her odd behaviour earlier. It wasn't the first time she'd jumped like that when he'd touched her. But she didn't behave like that every time he touched her. He wracked his brain trying to work out what the differences were but was struggling to put all the pieces together. Out the corner of his eye he noticed her once again struggle to conceal a yawn. "Boring you am I?" He chuckled.

"Maybe." She replied cheekily.

"How about I pay the bill and we have dessert at my place instead?" 

"That sounds lovely." Duffy agreed.

Charlie quickly settled the bill before they collected his car from the hospital and drove across town to his house.

"You go make yourself comfy on the sofa while I get us some ice cream." Charlie suggested as they walked into the hallway.

Charlie entered the lounge a few minutes later and handed a bowl to Duffy before sitting down next to her. As they ate the ice cream quietly, Charlie tried to think of ways to persuade Duffy to open up about whatever was troubling her. He placed their empty bowls on the coffee table before sitting back down and pulling her feet into his lap. He started to massage her ankles.

"That feels nice, thank you." Duffy mumbled, resting her head back against the sofa cushions and closing her eyes as she relaxed. Within minutes she was fast asleep. Charlie smiled and began to also doze off himself.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been asleep when he was suddenly awoken by a scream. He looked over at Duffy and saw that she was screaming and struggling but her eyes were still closed. He sat watching in shock as she struggled, mumbling, for several more moments before she let out a final scream and opened her eyes. Not wanting to frighten her further, he sat quietly while she reorientated herself to the surroundings. She was breathing heavily in short bursts and her eyes were frantically scanning the room as though she was afraid that something would jump out at her from the shadows. Her breathing began to steady slightly but then she made a strange noise before bolting from the room, her hand clutched against her mouth.

Charlie sat in stunned silence for several moments as he tried to process what had just happened. He presumed from how tired she'd been recently that that was not the first nightmare she'd had. He pushed himself up from the sofa and walked upstairs to the bathroom. Reaching out to turn the handle he found that it was locked. 

"Open the door, Duffy, please!" He sighed. 

"Leave me alone!" She sobbed before throwing up again.

"I just want to help you. Please let me in." He pleaded through the locked door.

"Just go back downstairs. I'm fine." She replied.

He rolled his eyes. "You woke up screaming and now you're vomiting. You're clearly not fine."

"I just startled myself, that's all." She paused, thinking she was going to vomit again but she managed to breathe through it. "And we both know why I'm vomiting."

"Why won't you open the door? Have I done something to upset you? You've been off with me for a while now. If you tell me what I've done then we can sort it out."

She sighed and ran her hands through her hair nervously, twisting the ends around her fingers. "You haven't done anything. It's just... I can't... I'm sorry." She stuttered and began to cry.

Hearing her sobs Charlie felt utterly useless. If he hadn't done something wrong then what the hell was the matter? If only she would tell him what had frightened her earlier. "Maybe if you told me what the dream was about I might be able to help you feel better?" He suggested tentatively.

"I can't. I don't want to think about it." She replied.

He decided to try changing tact again. "This isn't the first time it's happened though is it? How long has this been going on?" He heard her mumble something in reply but he couldn't make out the words. "Will you please open the door? I can't hear you properly whilst you're locked in there."

He heard the lock slide open but the door stayed shut. He waited quietly for several moments but there was no further movement so he lent forward and opened the door slightly. Just enough to hear better but not enough to be able to see her properly. "How long have you been having these bad dreams?" He asked once more. Looking through the gap in the doorway he saw her foot move as she shifted position on the floor.

"A couple of months." She mumbled.

Her answer shocked him. A couple of months? That long? No wonder she looked exhausted. That meant the nightmares had started before they'd renewed their relationship. He cast his mind back and it suddenly hit him. Why had he not realised sooner? He felt like an idiot! Her attack, that's what was causing the night terrors.

All thoughts of giving her space evaporated instantly at the realisation. Charlie pushed open the door and crouched down next to where she sat sobbing and shaking on the bathroom floor. He reached out his arms to hold her but stopped short of touching her when he saw her flinch. Suddenly feeling hesitant he pulled back and shifted to sit next to her. "Its OK to be scared, what he did to you was awful." He whispered reassuringly. "Have you thought any more about going to the police? It might help to report it."

Duffy's head shot up, she shook it furiously, her eyes wide with terror. "No! No police. Nothing happened!"

Charlie was stunned and confused by her sudden outburst. She wasn't making any sense. "What do you mean 'nothing happened'? He left you bleeding and bruised, lying on the ground. You're probably not the only woman he's done this to. He deserves to be punished for what he did."

"I just want to forget what happened." She sobbed.

"I know you do but you can't keep bottling it up like you have been. It's not healthy for you or the baby." He sighed. "If you won't talk to me about it then what about talking to Megan? Or we could arrange something through work? Please." He pleaded. "I hate seeing how much this is hurting you."

She didn't respond and the silence stretched out between them for several minutes, occasionally punctuated by the sound of her sniffles as she gradually calmed. Once it appeared that she had settled, Charlie spoke again. "Its getting late, how about you stay here tonight? I don't like the idea of you being by yourself if you have another bad dream."

Duffy began to fiddle with her hair again. She wanted so desperately to say yes she'd stay because she feared being alone in the dark again but at the same time she didn't want to give him the wrong impression and cause them both further confusion and distress if she freaked once more. Why did everything have to be so complicated? She cared deeply for Charlie, always had. All it had taken was one glance from those deep blue eyes of his and a flash of that cheeky smile when they'd met the previous year and she'd been instantly smitten. She knew he'd never hurt her yet she was struggling to get past the fear and let him close again. She took a deep breath and forced her mind to push away all the thoughts of what had happened that terrible night. She resolved to lock them away deep down where they could no longer hurt her, hurt them. She wouldn't let what happened ruin everything. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hands and lay her head on his shoulder. "I'd like that, thank you." She whispered.

Charlie placed a light kiss on her hair before getting up from the floor, holding out his hand to help Duffy stand up. "I'll go get an old t-shirt out for you to borrow and then I'll go make sure everything's locked up while you get ready." He said before leaving.

Duffy turned to look at her reflection in the mirror above the sink. She looked awful, what little remained of her make up was smeared around her eyes or streaked down her cheeks and her skin was red and blotchy. She sighed and grabbed the flannel by the sink to wash her face. Once she was finished she wandered across the hallway and, seeing that the door was open, tentatively entered his bedroom. Having never been in his room before she took a moment to absorb her surroundings, noting with surprise how tidy the room was. Spotting the t-shirt Charlie had left for her on the bed she closed the door behind her and quickly changed her clothes.

Sitting down on the bed she took a moment to compose herself. She had no reason to be afraid. Charlie was the sweetest man she knew. He was her protector. She fought with herself to suppress her irrational fears. She had to get past this. She was turning to slip her legs under the covers when she was halted by a fluttering feeling in her stomach. At first she dismissed the sensation as nerves, telling herself to get a grip, but then she felt it again, stronger this time. She smiled as she placed her hand over the area of her bump where she'd felt the movement, her resolve to move past what had happened to her growing stronger as she contemplated her child's future. She didn't want him or her growing up in a fractured family like she herself had, something she feared could happen if she continued to push Charlie away. If she carried on letting what had happened that night dominate her every thought, every action, then it would destroy everything she held dear... She was suddenly startled from her thoughts by the sound of Charlie's voice as he entered the bedroom.

"Are you OK? What's happened?" He asked, worry clearly evident in his voice as he crossed the room towards her.

"Huh? Oh! Um, yeh, I'm fine. More than fine. I just felt the baby move."

Charlie grinned as he watched Duffy's face light up as she spoke. Though he'd seen her smile occasionally over the last few weeks, this was the first time that he'd seen her smile reach her eyes. He'd missed the way they sparkled when she was excited and genuinely happy. Though he knew he wouldn't be able to feel anything, it was too early for that, he couldn't help but reach out his hand and place it next to hers, lacing their fingers together.

Duffy quickly found herself getting lost in Charlie's eyes. She reached out her other hand and ruffled his hair before gently kissing him. Slowly she allowed the kiss to deepen as she fought to ignore the increasing tightness in her chest. As the kiss ended she quickly looked away, not wanting Charlie to see the nervousness in her eyes.

Though he couldn't see her face Charlie could tell by the way she held herself that something wasn't right. "We should probably get some sleep, it's been a long day." He suggested, moving away from her and walking to the other side of the bed. He got into the bed and purposefully lay facing away from her so she wouldn't feel crowded. A few moments later he felt her lay down behind him. He desperately wanted to roll over and check she was OK but he held back. He was beginning to think she had fallen asleep when he suddenly felt her hand on his arm. He slowly rolled onto his back and looked over at her. She looked incredibly unsure of herself, even more so than she had after they'd shared their first kiss in his car. Despite her clear uncertainty, though, she hadn't moved her hand which Charlie felt had to be a positive sign. 

Charlie reached across and squeezed her hand before shifting his arm to lay across the pillow above her head. He watched as she chewed at her bottom lip, her eyes darting around nervously, a myriad of emotions flickering across her face in quick succession. He wished he knew how best to reassure her, to make her comfortable. He began to roll back over but stopped when she reached out her hand and placed it on his chest, shaking her head gently before shifting to rest it against his shoulder. He placed his arm tentatively around her shoulder, not wanting to hold her too tightly as he was aware of how stiffly she held herself.

"Its going to be OK. I'll make sure of that." He whispered.

Duffy blinked and Charlie felt a couple of tears splash against his shoulder. Her posture noticeably softened however and snuggled closer into his side as her eyes fluttered shut and she quickly fell asleep. Charlie, however, found himself unable to sleep, his mind racing with the terrifying thought that there was much more to what happened that night than she was letting on. What that might entail he didn't dare imagine, nor could he figure out how to get her to open up without making things so much worse. He gazed down at her as she wriggled in her sleep. Fearing a repeat of the earlier nightmare he gently stroked her hair and quietly murmured reassurances to her. To his surprise her movements quickly stilled and she let out a contented sign. Feeling more confident that she would be OK, Charlie finally allowed the exhaustion that he'd been fighting to hold at bay to finally win and he too fell asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Half asleep, Charlie rolled over in bed and was surprised to find himself alone, the space beside him empty and cold. He glanced back over his shoulder to look at the time on the clock radio. 6.47am. Far too early to be awake on his day off. Letting out a sigh, he pushed himself up and swung his legs out over the side of the bed. He paused, rubbing his hands through his hair and down his face in an attempt to wake himself up a bit more. He yawned and stretched before standing, throwing on his dressing gown and grabbing a spare blanket from on top of the dresser before heading downstairs.

He was instantly blinded by the brightness of every light fixture in the lounge being on, a stark contrast to darkness of the hallway. He blinked several times before his eyes focused enough to see Duffy sat curled up on the sofa, wrapped in a blanket and staring at the wall opposite. He approached her slowly, calling her name softly in an attempt not to startle her.

Duffy jumped slightly as she heard her name. Momentarily scared, her mind was torn between flight or fight until she realised that it was Charlie, that she was safe. Slowly she let out the breath she hadn't realised she was holding and looked up at him, forcing a smile that she hoped would be convincing and avoid any awkward questions.

Charlie's heart sank as he saw that Duffy's smile once again didn't quite reach her eyes but he knew better than to push her too hard too quickly. That would just result in her clamming up or running away, neither of which would solve the problems they were currently facing.

"I was worried you'd done a bunk when I woke up and found you missing." He remarked, trying his best to keep his tone light.

"Sorry. I woke up needing to use the bathroom and then couldn't get comfy enough again to fall back to sleep. You were fast asleep. I didn't want to disturb you so I came down here instead." She explained with a shrug.

Unsure whether or not to believe what she told him, Charlie sat down next to her, his arm brushing against hers despite his attempts to not overly invade her personal space.

"Gosh, you're freezing!" He exclaimed before unfolding the blanket he'd brought downstairs with him and wrapping it around her gently.

Duffy smiled softly in gratitude and snuggled into the blanket. Nothing was spoken by either of them for several minutes as Charlie tried to decide the best way to restart their conversation from the previous evening. He knew trying to get her to open up further about her attack wasn't going to be easy, she could be incredibly stubborn and defensive when she chose to be.

Duffy smiled as she shifted position slightly on the sofa. Seeing Charlie's questioning look her smile widened. "It tickles." She paused before continuing to try and explain. "The baby. Every movement just feels like being tickled. Seems now he or she has got the hang of it they don't want to sit still!"

Charlie's features softened as their eyes met. They both knew she was purposely avoiding the subject that hung between them but he decided to respect her wishes for the time being. She would talk when she was ready to, not before. Charlie was just hopeful that the time would be sooner rather than later. 

"Actually, I've been thinking..." He paused. "I'm choosing to ignore that look!" He chuckled as Duffy's facial expression then shifted to one of fake shocked innocence before she broke into giggles. A feeling of warm happiness washed over Charlie at the sound, it had become far too rare an occurance in recent months.

Duffy rearranged the blankets to drape over both of them and shifted to rest her head on Charlie's chest. Deep down she knew that this was where she felt safest and happiest. She just had to fight down the other conflicting emotions that seemed determined to destroy her happiness. She smiled as Charlie's hand came to rest on her stomach and he lightly kissed the top of her head.

"You were going to say something?" She prompted when he didn't continue for several moments.

"Hmm?" He replied distractedly.

"You started talking but then got grumpy coz I was mocking you." She reminded him.

"Oh so you were mocking me?" He replied, tickling her gently.

"Of course, someone has to!" She giggled. "Anyway, stop stalling and tell me whatever it was you were going to say."

"Yes, well, like I said, I've been thinking, about us and the baby." He paused. "I just don't like the idea of you being all the way across town in that tiny flat..."

"Its all I can afford!" She bristled. "Its that or I move back into my mother's." She explained in a tone that made it clear that that wasn't an option she was willing to explore.

"Or you could move in here?" He suggested softly. "It would be a much safer area for the baby to grow up in." He explained.

Duffy turned and glared at him. "I grew up around there and I turned out fine." She stood up and walked towards the stairs. "Its probably time I headed back to my grotty little flat anyway." She paused at the bottom of the stairs and looked at him with a mixture of disgust and hurt. "I thought you were the one person who accepted me for who I was. Seems I was wrong." She turned and stormed up the stairs.

Charlie sighed as he got up from the sofa in order to follow her and attempt to rectify things between them. He winced as he heard the bedroom door slam shut. Reaching the top of the stairs he stood in the hallway, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.

"Duffy?" Deafening silence was her only reply. "Duffy, please!" He sighed. "I thought you'd be happy. I thought... Oh I don't know what to think any more. I really don't." He paused, leaning against the wall next to the doorframe feeling utterly confused and defeated. "So you're going to have to start talking or else..."

The door was yanked open and Duffy stepped out onto the landing redressed in her clothes from the previous evening. "Or else what, Charlie? You'll stop pretending that this means more to you than it actually does?"

Charlie's mouth fell open and in the few moments it took him to form words to reply she had dashed down the stairs and sat on the sofa to put her boots back on. He hurried downstairs in a desperate attempt to stop her leaving.

"Is this all because of what happened with Baz? We've been through this so many times already! She means nothing to me, why won't you believe that? It's you I want to be with, I just wish you'd let me in."

"I'm trying, I really am. I just don't want you doing this out of some sense of duty and then ending up hating me and the baby." She replied as she stood up and began walking back towards the hallway. 

Charlie moved to block the doorway so she couldn't get past. "I could never hate you. And as for the baby, I can't wait til she's here so I can tell her how beautiful she is because she's just like her mother."

Duffy swallowed back a lump in her throat at the sincerity of his words. "And if it's a boy?" She countered.

Charlie rolled his eyes at her reply. Why couldn't she learn to take a compliment? "If it's a boy then I'll be just as thrilled." He replied, reaching out to place his hands gently on her shoulders before pulling her into a hug.

Duffy reached up and placed a soft kiss on Charlie's cheek before stepping out of his embrace. He stepped aside to let her through to the hallway to grab her coat. She turned around as he spoke.

"I wish you didn't have to go. You're not still angry at me are you?" 

"I'm not I promise. I just had a lot planned for today before you sprung dinner on me last night." 

"You're sure I can't change your mind? Convince you to stay here for longer?" 

"Charlie..!" She replied, laughing. 

"OK, OK, I give in but will you at least wait and let me drive you home?" He suggested as he stepped further into the hallway. 

At her nod of agreement he began to climb the stairs. "OK, just give me five minutes. I feel better knowing you and the baby will get back safely. It would be different if you had a car yourself..." He pointed out as he reached the bedroom and disappeared inside. 

Duffy froze, her arm partway through her sleeve. She closed her eyes trying to force away the thoughts that once more invaded her mind. She told herself that Charlie didn't mean it like that, that it was just a simple gallant gesture on his part. The images of that night whizzed faster and faster in her mind til they blurred together and began to overwhelm her. Her breathing became ragged, her heartbeat pounding in her ears. She felt like she was going under until suddenly the sound of Charlie's footsteps on the stairs pulled her back to reality. She fought to keep her breathing steady as she smiled up at him. 

Charlie sighed. He wasn't sure why but he could see that the forced smile was back. That wasn't a good sign. Nor was her almost complete silence as they drove across town. He tried to engage her in conversation but what little she said in reply seemed stilted and forced. He wanted to ask her what was bothering her as the car pulled up outside her flat but before he had chance to she lent over, gave him a quick kiss goodbye and headed inside.

Charlie slumped forward and hit his head against the steering wheel, letting out a frustrated sigh as he did so. He really didn't know what to do for the best and feared he was actually just inadvertently making things worse. Sitting back up he suddenly thought of the one person who might be able to help him.

As he walked up to her front door he realised the time and began to doubt himself. He argued back and forth with himself, his hand rubbing the back of his neck as he tried to make a decision. He turned away from the door and began to walk back towards his car when he heard the door open.

"Its usually only my sons that loiter on my doorstep this early in the morning Charlie." Megan gave him a look as she took in his appearance. He was agitated and slightly disheveled. "Do I dare ask what you were up to last night?"

"Oh nothing like what you might be thinking! I just got dressed in a hurry this morning." He replied dismissively. 

"I see. So what brings you to my door at 8 o'clock in the morning?"

Charlie put his hands in his pockets and looked at the ground. "Um, well, I wanted to know if you'd spoken to Duffy recently."

Megan sighed. "Please tell me you two haven't had an argument?"

"I'm worried about her. I was hoping she'd maybe told you what happened." He explained, avoiding the question.

"And I was hoping she'd maybe spoken to you. Sounds like you'd better come in."

Charlie made himself comfortable on the sofa whilst Megan made them both a cup of tea. Once she had finished and was settled in the armchair he began to recount Duffy's recent odd reactions and what little she had told him about the night she was attacked. As he finished he looked up at Megan. 

"What did she tell you?" 

"Just that it was raining, she took a shortcut and saw a man who she thought was injured. She went to help him and he suddenly lashed out at her, pushing her to the ground. He hit her a couple of times and then ran off. Though when she told me a couple of weeks later that she was pregnant, she was so agitated that I did wonder if..." She stopped suddenly with a shudder. 

"If what Megan? Go on..!" Charlie urged. 

"It doesn't matter, it all became clear soon after why she was so flustered about the news. Though after what you've just told me..." 

"Megan!" Charlie's mind began to race. "No! She would have told me..." 

Megan sighed, her heart breaking as she saw Charlie's face crumble. "She probably hasn't even admitted it to herself."

Charlie ran his hands through his hair as the full weight of what Megan was suggesting settled in his mind. "Why?" He mumbled.

"Charlie?" Megan questioned.

"Why would Duffy lie to me? After everything that happened with Baz why would she think it was OK to lie about something like that? To let me think..." He stood up and quickly walked out the room. 

Megan scrambled to follow him. "I don't understand. What has Baz got to do with any of this? I thought the two of you were over weeks ago." Megan asked in confusion before finally the penny dropped in her mind. She grabbed hold of his arm. "Wait, you don't think..? Charlie, you need to calm down and think about this logically." She waited til she had his full attention. "Duffy is four months pregnant. The night she was attacked was a little over two months ago."

Charlie turned the facts over in his head and sighed. He was such an idiot. "But you said..?" He countered.

Megan sighed and placed her hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Just because the child is yours doesn't mean she wasn't raped that night Charlie."

Charlie slumped against the wall. He looked helplessly at Megan. "I want to help her but I don't know how." He choked out as Megan pulled him into a hug.


	6. Chapter 6

Duffy was busy hoovering in her bedroom when she finally registered the sound of a continual beep coming from the hallway. She flicked the off switch and realised it was the sound of her door buzzer. She glanced anxiously towards the door, she wasn't expecting visitors and whoever was outside was clearly insistant as they appeared to be leaning on the door bell. She reached down to turn the hoover back on, determined to ignore the unknown visitor, when a series of loud bangs began to be inflicted on the door. Duffy sighed and slowly made her way over to the door, quickly hooking the door chain across before she reached for the handle. Staying mostly hidden behind the door she opened it as little as possible to see who was on the other side.

She breathed a partial sigh of relief as she spotted Megan stood in the corridor. She unhooked the chain and opened the door fully ignoring the look Megan gave her as she did so.

"Finally! I thought I was going to have to wait til you'd finished the entire flat before you were going to let me in." She breezed past Duffy and headed over to the sink. "I'll stick the kettle on. I'm gasping for a cuppa."

Duffy shook her head, a wry smile on her face as she closed the door. "Hi Megan, lovely to see you. How are you?"

She lent against the sink and watched as Megan surveyed the room while the kettle boiled.

"If it wasn't for that dodgy sofa I'd think I'd walked into the wrong flat. Bit early for the nesting instinct to have kicked in already isn't it?" Megan remarked.

Duffy folded her arms across her chest. "I thought it would be a good habit to get into before the baby arrives."

"So long as you're not wearing yourself out. Try taking it a bit easier pet. Or do I need to be having words with Charlie to start looking after you a bit better?"

"I can look after myself Megan." Duffy bristled.

Megan snorted with derision as she made the tea but decided not to comment. "So what have you got in to make sandwiches with?"

"Nothing for me, I've just eaten, but you're welcome to help yourself to anything in the fridge." Duffy replied.

"Liar." Megan remarked as she opened the fridge. "There's no plate on the drainer." She pointed out seeing the shocked look on the younger woman's face at the accusation.

"Honestly Megan I'm not hungry."

"Nonsense. I want to see you eat this because you're clearly not eating enough. You're far too slim."

Duffy rolled her eyes and placed her hands on her stomach. "Slim isn't the first word I'd use to describe myself right now." She remarked sarcastically.

"Its been a month since I last saw you and you've barely changed."

"Oh so that's why you wanted to meet for lunch? Checking up on me?" She remarked, her tone leaving no doubt about her displeasure.

Megan ignored the question, placed the sandwiches she had made on the table and then sat directly opposite Duffy who sighed before reluctantly picking up her sandwich and slowly eating it.

As she finished the last mouthful Duffy looked Megan straight in the eye. "Happy now?"

"Don't give me that tone Missy. You are eating for two now. Not on one of your silly diets any longer. Don't forget that."

Duffy sighed. "I do wish you'd all stop fussing. I'm fine!" She insisted as she cleared away the plates.

The two women then moved to sit in the lounge, which, in actual fact, was just the other end of the room the kitchen occupied. As they sat quietly drinking their tea Megan took the opportunity to study Duffy once more.

Growing uncomfortable under Megan's scrutiny, Duffy sighed. "What will it take to convince you there's no need for concern?" 

Megan tilted her head and gave her friend a look of utter disbelief. "You've barely grown at all Duffy! No wonder Charlie is so worried about you." 

Duffy rolled her eyes and sighed dramatically. "I should have known Charlie was involved somehow. I didn't think you'd be doing his dirty work for him though!"

"Don't blame Charlie. He was just telling me what I already suspected. I'd have been here a damn sight sooner if I'd known though. Why didn't you come to me Duffy? We've all been so worried about you. Just last week Ewart spoke to me wanting to know if you were ok."

"Like I said, I'm fine. There's nothing to be concerned about."

"Really? If everything is fine then why are you still having nightmares? And distancing yourself from all of us?"

"I can't believe he told you about the nightmares."

"Why? He loves you Duffy. He doesn't know what to do."

Duffy's eyes widened briefly at Megan's assertion before she shook her head. "I doubt it. He's probably just trying to do the right thing."

"Pftt." Megan paused and looked incredulously at her. "You really don't see it do you?" 

"See what? In my experience that tends to be what happens. Bloke gets a girl pregnant so he does the honourable thing. If you're lucky he sticks around, if not then he's usually legged it before the kid starts school so at least there's no longterm damage or memories to worry about."

'No longterm damage my foot!' Megan thought but chose not to voice aloud. It saddened her greatly how much the girl in front of her, who was barely a couple of years older than Megan's own children, had been through already in her young life. A life that didn't seem to be getting any easier either. Mentally shaking such thoughts away she looked back over at Duffy. "And you think Charlie will be like that too? With you, and the baby?"

Duffy shrugged. "I'd like to think he's better than that but then again I'm sure my mum thought the same of my dad."

"I may be a silly old fool to you Duffy. But I know that is love in his eyes when he looks at you."

"For now maybe. But who's to say that wandering eye of his won't start up again when he begins to get bored of me too?" 

"I don't think it was boredom that ended his relationship with Baz" Megan remarked. "But it's interesting to see who he turned to the second they hit problems."

"I don't know what you're implying Megan." Duffy replied, attempting to sound innocent but it wasn't going to wash. 

"Oh, so Baz was wrong in her assumptions then was she? Charlie didn't end up in your bed after they had a row? Or are you saying that this baby you're carrying is the result of something more than a one night affair?"

"It's complicated Megan. I didn't intend to wreck their relationship."

"Oh really?" 

"He was upset coz she was being so horrid to him. I was just trying to cheer him up, that's all. I didn't mean for it to go so far. We were just having a laugh, mucking about. It was supposed to just be harmless flirting. We didn't mean to get quite so carried away, but, well..." Duffy shrugged awkwardly, no longer able to meet Megan's gaze. 

"Harmless?! You two? Oh give me strength!" Megan shook her head in despair. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Duffy shot back. 

"He repeatedly gave up his freetime to spend it with you Duffy. He saw you plenty at work, yet chose to spend extra time teaching you to drive, ignoring the fact that he's your boss, he had a girlfriend and that there's plenty of other people who could have taught you instead."

"So? He helps you with stuff outside of work." Duffy countered. 

Megan chuckled. "And I'm sure he puts in the same level of enthusiasm when helping a grumpy old woman like me as he does when spending time with a lovely girl like you!" She grew serious once more. "Look, he may not say the words, but his actions speak volumes."

"I guess you're right." Duffy conceded. "That's probably why he was so hurt by my reaction the other day."

"Reaction to what?" Megan queried. 

"He, um, he asked me to move in with him."

"Oh, right." Megan replied flatly. 

"So you think I was right to refuse?" 

"No, no, it's just not what I'd expect him to have done. Call it the Catholic in me."

Duffy's eyes widened and her mouth fell open at Megan's inference. "You want us to get married?!" She gasped. 

"Well, it's the right thing to do." Megan pointed out.

"Is it?"

"Its what I was raised to believe." She paused before broaching what she feared could be an explosive topic. "So why did you say no? It wouldn't have anything to do with these nightmares Charlie mentioned would it?"

Bingo! Though she tried to hide it Megan spotted the brief look of fear that flashed through Duffy's eyes.

"Oh sweetheart." Megan's eyes softened as she took in Duffy's reaction.

"Its nothing. I'm fine." Duffy deflected, crossing her arms tightly around herself and refusing to meet Megan's gaze. 

"I know you better than you think I do."

"Just leave it Megan. Please!" She begged. 

"Leave what?"

"I really should be getting on." She got up and headed back across the room towards the kitchen, placed the plates from the side into the sink and began running water over them. 

Megan followed after her. "You can't just ignore it Duffy. You need to deal with it. Let me help you." She placed her hand on the younger woman's arm to still her movements. 

"There's nothing to deal with." Duffy insisted though her voice wasn't as firm as she would have liked. 

"Oh really? Indulge me then."

"Do I have a choice?" She muttered sarcastically, pulling her arm free and continuing the washing up. 

"Not unless you want to spend the rest of your life like this then no."

"I'm sure I'll get over it given time. It's not like it's the first time I've taken a smack in the face off a stranger." Having finished the washing up Duffy grabbed a towel and dried her hands. She then lent against the sink in a manner that she hoped appeared calm and casual. 

Megan sighed. "You need to say it out loud before you can begin to deal with it Duffy."

"Say what? I thought the guy needed help but it turned out all he wanted to do was kick the crap out of me and mug me."

"The truth Duffy, I can see the lies in your eyes."

"Though why he picked on me I don't know, it's not like nurses are known for being well off." Duffy continued as though she hadn't heard Megan's words. 

Megan sighed again, "Duffy, I know he didn't mug you. I also think he did more than just hit you."

"Yeh, well, I screamed, he probably got spooked and ran off before he could take anything." Duffy shrugged. 

"Is that what you want me to believe?"

"Its what happened." Duffy almost spat the words out "You chose to believe what you want to Megan." She added. 

"So tell me this then, for someone who has the man she has always wanted, how come you are pushing him away?"

"I'm not!" Duffy shot back, her voice rising in pitch more than she liked.

"Aren't you? I can see the worry in his face Duffy, and it is not just about the baby. You don't want him any where near you do you?"

"What the hell has he told you?!" She demanded, her anger rising fast. 

"Nothing, I told you. I can see it written on his face Duffy. He thinks you don't want him."

"Just coz I wasn't in the mood one time you both think there's something more to it?" She pushed away from the sink, close to losing her temper. "I can't believe he's been talking to you about our sex life! I'll kill him when I next see him!"

"Duffy, Duffy...listen to yourself..." Megan came up in front of her, put her hands on her shoulders and looked at her square in the eyes.

Feeling uncomfortable under Megan's gaze, Duffy turned her head away. "Well how else would you know all of that stuff? Unless he's been telling tales."

Megan shifted to try and recapture her focus. "He is worried about you. We all are. You need to let us in to help you. You can't do this by yourself."

"I don't need your help!" She spat back at her. 

"Pfft. Right, do you want to know what I think?" She waited until Duffy finally met her eye. She spoke softly but firmly. "That man raped you Duffy! His actions are affecting you now, and will always affect you. Unless you deal with it."

Duffy's eyes flashed wildly with anger as she fought to free herself from Megan's hold and escape. "Just shut up and let go of me!" she screamed. 

Megan kept her voice low. "Duffy, Duffy. Calm down."

"No! Just get out and leave me alone!" Tears were now coursing down her face, her whole body shaking. 

"I'm not going anywhere." Megan reassured her gently. 

"Nothing happened! You hear me? Nothing!" Duffy tried once more to pull free from Megan's grasp but she was penned in by the table behind her. She tried to push against the older woman but Megan stood firm. 

"Duffy, calm down, Duffy sweetheart." Megan wrapped her arms around Duffy, concerned that if she didn't settle down soon she risked hurting herself. 

"Make it stop! Please just make it stop!" Her voice cracked as the emotions she'd been avoiding began to flow out uncontrollably. 

"Aw sweetheart, shhh, shhh, it's ok, you're safe, I've got you, shhhh." Megan stroked her hair, and rubbed her back hoping that the sound of her voice would help her weather the storm in her mind.

"He wouldn't stop. He just..."

"I know, I know sweetheart. You're safe now, shhh."

"I... I..." Duffy's words were cut off by a strangled noise that the experienced nurse in Megan instantly recognised. She let go and quickly stepped out of Duffy's way as the younger woman frantically lunged for the sink, barely making it in time before she was violently sick. Grabbing a towel from beside the sink Megan soaked it in water, wrung it out and handed it Duffy so she could wipe her face. She then gave her a glass of water to slowly sip. 

"I'm sorry... I... I'm sorry." Duffy mumbled. 

"It's ok pet, it's ok." Megan soothed. 

Fresh tears began to run down Duffy's cheeks. 

"Is that what the nightmares have been like?" Megan asked quietly. 

"It just won't stop. He won't stop." Duffy muttered distractedly. 

"Because you need to confront it, confront what he did to you. It won't stop Duffy, unless you talk about it." 

"I try not to think about it. I try to sleep. But he still gets me. Then I wake up and I'm sick." She paused and sighed deeply. "He ruins everything."

"He is in there Duffy, because you can't confront him when you're awake. That is what nightmares are, our subconscious fighting or dealing with issues we don't face whilst we are awake."

"But even when I'm awake, every touch feels like he's hurting me again. I know he's not but..."

"If he had been caught, and punished for what he did. You'd know he got what he deserves. But, because he is still out there, and you haven't dealt with it. He continues to haunt your dreams." Megan paused, knowing that her next statement probably wasn't going to go down well. "You need to talk to Charlie about this."

"No! Promise me you won't tell him what happened. I don't want him to know." her voice began to rise with panic once more. 

"You need to at least tell him something Duffy. He needs to know why you are reacting like that. He thinks it's his fault." Megan explained. 

"He'll never want to go near me ever again if I tell him the truth." Duffy insisted frantically. 

"As it stands now Duffy, you won't ever go near him again." Megan countered. 

"It might get better with time." Duffy suggested, the hopeful hint in her tone sounding pitiful. 

"Will it? Charlie isn't the man you think he is. He blames himself over all this. He deserves to know something. Maybe not the truth, if you don't want to tell him. But, you need to say something, things can't carry on like this."

"I'm surprised he's even thinking about me that way when I'm so fat, tired and sick all the time." She hit upon an idea in mind. "I'll just tell him its all down to hormones!"

"He won't buy that Duffy. He has seen how scared you are. That can't be explained away by hormones."

"Why can't I have just one part of my life that isn't ruined by this?" She cried, placing her head in her hands.

"Because in order to move on with your life Duffy, you need to deal with it first."

"But I don't know how to!" She sobbed. 

"If you won't speak to me, or Charlie. Speak to a counsellor. It will help you. Trust me. Now, in the meantime. Speak to Charlie. Tell him it isn't his fault for how you are feeling. I have to go to work now."

Duffy looked up from her hands, she looked so utterly lost and hopeless. "I don't know where to begin to explain it all to him."

"You'll know when you see him Duffy. He just wants to protect you. Let him." Megan placed her hand on Duffy's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze before letting go. 

"I... I'll try."

"Good girl." She nodded. 

"Thank you Megan for, well, everything..."

"That's my job, remember?" Megan opened her arms and offered her a hug.

"Its supposed to be mine too." She sighed as she stepped into Megan's arms.

"I know it is sweetheart, I know." 

"Maybe we really do make the worst patients afterall." Duffy remarked, a tiny smile pulling at the corners of her mouth as she stepped back. 

"Haha, oh I agree, I completely agree. Is that a smile I see?" Megan questioned, giving Duffy a gentle nudge. 

Duffy shrugged as the two women walked back towards the door and said their goodbyes. After closing the door Duffy leant back against it and stared at the phone on the sideboard. She chewed at her bottom lip before taking a deep breath and picked up the phone. She dialled the familiar number and waited til he picked up.

"Charlie, its me. Can you come over? We need to talk."


	7. Chapter 7

After putting down the phone Duffy wandered back into the kitchen in a daze, her mind preoccupied by her conversation with Megan. She stood by the sink for a few moments before she began to scrub it clean, silent tears sliding down her cheeks. Once that was done she slowly walked across the room and headed into the bathroom. She sighed as she caught sight of her reflection in the mirror above the sink. She brushed her teeth and washed her face.

Leaving the bathroom she walked into her bedroom and sat on the bed. Picking up her hairbrush from the bedside table she ran it absentmindedly through her hair. After placing the brush back down she lent over and pulled a clean t-shirt from the pile on the floor, removed the top she had been wearing and changed into the new one. She was contemplating redoing her make up when she was interrupted by the sound of her doorbell ringing. She sighed before pushing herself up from the bed to go answer the door.

It felt like forever to Charlie before Duffy finally opened the door. He shoved his hands in his jacket pockets in an attempt to appear calm and relaxed, when in reality he was neither of those things. He took in her appearance as she stood silently in the doorway. Her arms were wrapped around her body and her gaze didn't quite meet his. She'd obviously been crying and looked very pale and tired. He wondered if Megan had been able to speak to her yet, as she'd promised she would, and if she had what Duffy had told her.

"You said we needed to talk..." He reminded her softly, nervously breaking the silence that stretched out between them.

Duffy nodded and stepped aside, indicating that he should come inside. She then closed the door and turned to face him.

"You sent Megan to talk to me?" She accused though there was no anger present in her tone.

"I didn't know what else to do. You kept pushing me away and I couldn't understand why. Megan helped me see things in a different way. To consider things that I hadn't realised."

Duffy nodded, Megan was good at doing that, it was one of the things that made her such a wonderful nurse, someone Duffy looked up to and respected greatly. She sighed. "Would you like a cuppa? Then we can sit down and talk."

Charlie nodded and followed her into the kitchen. He then continued past her and sat down on the sofa. He watched as Duffy made the tea and brought it over. She handed him a cup before settling herself into the chair opposite.

Duffy picked nervously at a loose thread on her jeans as she attempted to compose her thoughts. Taking a deep breath she began to speak.

"Megan told me you think all of this is your fault. That you're to blame for how I've been reacting. I'm sorry, I really am. None of this is your fault. It's all me. I'm the problem."

Charlie ran his hand around the back of his neck nervously. "Megan told you that?"

Duffy nodded. "I think she wanted me to see things in a different way too." She explained. She looked down, rolling the thread between her fingers once more. "Did she, um, discuss her, er, suspicions with you?" She stuttered quietly. 

"Well, I er, we mentioned certain things." 

"I see." She paused. "Anything you care to share?"

"I want to, but, only if you do too." He told her gently. 

"Not really but I've been told it's for the best that I do." Her voice choked slightly. "If I'm ever going to move on from what happened." She mumbled. 

"Is it something you want to talk about? About that night?" He asked her tentatively. 

"No!" She replied reflexively, then sighed. 

"Ok, ok." He reassured her. He decided to change tact. "Um, do you have the nightmares every night?"

"Not every night but most." She admitted softly. "Keeping the lights on sometimes helps."

"Right, that explains it I suppose."

"Explains what?"

"Well, um, the last time you stayed with me." 

"I didn't mean to fall asleep. I was hoping you'd never see me like that. That I'd find a way to make them go away."

"That's why? I thought you didn't want anything to do with me."

"I didn't want you to look at me differently. To think badly of me." She explained. 

"Duffy, I'd never think that."

"I didn't want you realising how weak I was." Her tone was bitter. "I should have fought back harder but I was too afraid that he'd really hurt me if I did."

"Duffy, don't blame yourself." 

"I was scared he'd hurt the baby." Her eyes began to fill with tears. 

"Oh Duffy, come here." Charlie got up from the sofa and crouched beside her as he opened his arms towards her. She allowed him to place his arms around her but the way she held herself was stiff and awkward. 

Charlie sighed. "I, I want to help you through this Duffy. If you'll let me?" 

"I want to but..." She couldn't find the words to explain how she felt. 

Charlie took her hand in his and moved back slightly to catch her eye. "We can do this together Duffy. You don't have to be on your own." 

"I'm used to being on my own though." She whispered. 

"You don't have to be anymore Duffy. I'm here for you." Charlie smiled softly at her, and squeezed her hand.

"You promise?" She queried hesitantly. 

"I promise I'll always be there for you Duffy." He replied sincerely. 

She looked into his eyes, searching for the truth behind his words. She tried to speak but couldn't. Her lip wobbled slightly and a couple of tears slid down her cheeks.

"It's ok, shhh." Charlie reached up and rubbed away her tears.

She leant into his touch, she didn't want him to pull away from her but there was still a whisper of fear in her mind.

Charlie smiled softly at her, trying to let her see that she didn't need to worry. 

She slowly reached out her free hand and softly, tentatively, touched his cheek with her fingertips.

"Duffy?" Charlie whispered, as he looked into her eyes.

She smiled at him. It was a small smile but it was genuine rather than the forced smile he'd mostly seen recently. They drew slowly closer together until their lips gently met. 

As the kiss ended Duffy glanced down awkwardly. "Look, about the other day... I, erm, didn't mean to get so angry with you. I'm sorry." 

"It's ok. I understand. I know it's too soon isn't it? It came out all wrong. We can take things at your pace Duffy, what ever you want I'll do." He quickly reassured her. 

"I don't want you doing anything you might end up regretting, that's all."

"Believe me Duffy, there's a lot of things I regret. But, this, us, you, will never be one of them." He replied honestly. 

"I don't want to end up like my mum." She whispered bleakly. 

"Your Mum? How will you end up like your Mum?" He asked, confused by the sudden shift in the conversation. 

"Alone, bitter and resenting my child." She replied darkly. 

"You'll never be alone Duffy. I won't ever leave you, or our baby." He asserted, desperate for her to see that he meant everything he told her. 

"I want to believe you, I really do." 

"Then believe me Duffy."

"If only it was that simple."

"We can make it as simple as we want it to Duffy. Just trust me. Please." He begged. 

"Its not exactly been simple so far has it?" She laughed bitterly.

Charlie sighed. "No, no it hasn't. But that's not your fault. That's mine."

"I'm capable of taking responsibility for my own misbehaviour Charlie." She retorted. 

Charlie sighed. "Please just let me in too Duffy."

"If I do that and you let me down..." The unspoken threat hung in the air.

"How can I prove it to you that I won't?" He questioned desperately. 

She shrugged. "I guess I just have to take the leap, keep my fingers crossed and find out what's at the bottom when I get there."

Charlie sighed and looked into her eyes, he gently tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, as he told her. "I will always protect you, I will always be there for you, for our baby. No matter what."

A dark look briefly flashed across her eyes. "You can't always protect me but it means a lot that you want to. I don't know what I did to deserve it though."

"I'm trying to Duffy, you just need to let me."

"You think you could have made a difference that night don't you? Nothing could have made a difference Charlie. Things happen for a reason." She replied in a tone that sounded like it wasn't just him she was trying to convince with her words. 

Charlie sighed. "Sometimes I think if, if you'd passed your driving test. You'd had a car. It, it does make me think. In some small way I was responsible." He admitted, the pain he felt colouring his words. 

"Its not your fault I failed the test." She assured him. 

"No? I tried Duffy, I tried everything I could. I was certain you'd pass. I'd even been looking for a car for you." 

A mixture of shock and guilt filled her features as it began to sink in how much Charlie blamed himself for her failure and what he perceived to be the consequences of that. "Um..." She began. 

"Duffy?" Charlie noticed her reaction but didn't understand where it had come from.

"Erm... Well..." She continued with broken awkwardness. 

"Duffy?" Charlie frowned at her hoping she would continue and things would become clearer.

"Don't look at me like that! It seemed like a good idea at the time." 

"What was?" He probed. 

"The bus stop..."

"The bus stop?" Now he was totally lost! 

"Yeh..." 

"What about the bus stop?" 

"I did see it in time."

"What do you mean?" 

"You're determined to make me say it aren't you?" Unable to meet his eyes, her gaze wandered around the room. 

"I'm not following you?" He pointed out. 

"I hit the bollard on purpose OK?" She confessed, her words almost tripping over themselves. 

"You hit the...?" He repeated in shock. 

"I even slowed down so I wouldn't hurt myself." 

"You did it on purpose?!" His tone was more baffled than angry. 

"Well, breaking the car headlight was an accident." She bit her bottom lip. "I didn't plan to damage the car."

"Duffy? For God's Sake! Why?" Charlie stood up and began to pace the floor.

"I was enjoying our lessons together." She blushed. "If I passed my test then you'd have no reason to spend time with me anymore." She paused. "I wasn't anticipating what happened between us not long after that." 

"You mean, you, you failed on purpose? To spend more time with me?" He questioned, bewildered. 

She nodded bashfully. "You're mad with me now aren't you?"

"Mad, mad?" Charlie continued to pace, his mind spinning as it tried to process her confession. It was the last thing he'd expected to hear her admitting when he'd arrived at her flat. 

She got up and tried to block his pacing. "I am sorry. Really sorry. It was a stupid thing to do but I didn't want you getting all wrapped up in her again." The words were out her mouth before she could stop them. 

"What?" Charlie turned to look at her.

"I saw my chance to keep your attention. Give myself longer to... Oh I don't know..!" She shrugged. 

"You mean, you were jealous? Of me and Baz? I don't believe I'm hearing this!"

"Why do you think I let you..? I don't normally jump straight into bed with blokes I've only just kissed!" 

"Duffy, for god's sake!" He exclaimed. 

"I don't want you thinking I'm some kind of... Because I'm not! But, well, when you made a move..."

Charlie sighed and looked at her, "I didn't think you were, I, um..." He began to blush as his words faded.

"It really hurt when you went back to her." She explained. "Even though I understood why you had to."

"I had no choice Duffy. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"And then a few weeks later when I found myself in the same situation... I didn't know what to do."

"I wish you'd come to me Duffy."

"And say what exactly? 'Oh hi Charlie, remember how you cheated on your pregnant girlfriend by sleeping with me? Well, guess what..?'..." She retorted bitterly. 

"Duffy."

"Well, what else would you call what we did?" She shot back. 

Charlie paced again, and ran his hand around the back of his neck. "I didn't want you to think I was using you...oh Duffy, I've...you think I just..."

"I was so happy that day despite your insistence that we keep it a secret until you'd sorted everything out and then within a matter of hours you pulled the rug right out from under my feet. What did you expect me to think?" She bit her lip before adding quickly. "Part of me thought you might suggest we carry on, that I'd be your dirty little secret."

Charlie paced again, and turned to look at her. "If Baz hadn't..." he sighed again, "if she hadn't fallen pregnant Duffy I was going to break it off with her."

"But she did and you broke it off with me instead." She replied calmly despite her hurt at the rejection. 

Charlie sighed once again. "I thought I was doing what was best." He sat down, with his head in his hands. "I never meant to hurt you."

"It was an impossible situation." She sighed as she moved to sit down next to him.

"You have to know Duffy, if, if Baz...I'd have been with you." He explained, looking up at her. 

"Now do you understand why I worried that maybe you were only with me because of the baby? Because that's clearly why you were with Baz."

"Duffy, that's not..." he sighed again. "Is that what you think? Why I'm, why I want to be with you? Just for the baby?" The realisation of her true thoughts stung him greatly. He lowered his head again. 

"The thought had crossed my mind several times in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. That's why I didn't want to tell you about... If you knew what he'd really done... Then you'd reject me for sure, baby or not."

"Is that what you, um, what you thought? Oh Duffy, I'd never think that. Oh God, I've made a right mess of all of this haven't I? You hate me don't you?"

"No, I..." She stopped herself mid-sentence.

Charlie turned to look at her, and frowned in confusion. "I knew it. All this is my fault. I'm sorry Duffy." Charlie hurriedly rose from the sofa, unable to look at her as he told her. "I care about you Duffy, you have no idea, no idea how much I..."

"How much you what Charlie?" She asked when he didn't continue the sentence. 

Charlie turned to look at her. "Even if I told you, you'd not believe me."

"Try me, I might surprise you."

He frowned and began to blush. "I, um..."

She folded her arms and raised her eyebrow at him.

"You're not making it any easier." Becoming increasingly agitated under her scrutiny, he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Sorry." She uncrossed her arms and, unsure what to do, looked down at her feet awkwardly.

"It's just," he sighed, as he looked at her. "I shouldn't, but I do." He added. 

She looked back up at him. "You're not making any sense Charlie."

Charlie sighed once again. "I dunno, it's just, hard, oh, I just can't do it."

"You can't do what?" She paused, panic setting in once more. "Are you trying to break up with me or something?"

"No, no, never! It's just, too soon. I, um, you, um. I have a lot of feelings for you Duffy, too many. Oh, this is stupid. Why can't I just tell you?!". He paced again, rubbing his neck, blushing and getting annoyed at himself further.

"Would it help if I said I felt the same?" She rose from the sofa and went to stand a little behind him. 

"You, you, um..." He turned to look at her shocked by her words, and swallowed hard.

She nodded and shrugged slightly.

"You do?" He laughed, surprised.

She giggled nervously.

"You feel the same way?" He asked her again.

She gave a tiny nod, chewing at her bottom lip as she did so.

"I thought it was just me. That, you couldn't possibly..." Stepping towards her, he gently ran his fingers through her hair, as he spoke.  
He swallowed hard. "I think I'm in love with you Duffy, I think I have been for a very long time."

Her eyes widened with shock and excitement. She tried to speak but couldn't form the words.

Charlie gazed at her, leant forward and gently kissed her lips

As the kiss ended Duffy rested her forehead gently against his. After a few moments she slowly moved once more til she was looking straight into his eyes. "I love you too." She whispered, lightly kissing him once more. "And I trust you to never hurt me either."


	8. Chapter 8

Duffy twisted and turned as she attempted to see her figure in the small mirror above the sink in Charlie's bathroom. It was utterly hopeless, she really needed the full length mirror that was in her bedroom, but she hadn't wanted to trek all the way across town to get changed before she and Charlie went out for dinner.

From what little Charlie had told her the restaurant sounded incredibly posh. Which also meant expensive, especially on Valentine's Day. With that in mind she had opted for a classic little black dress, simple and elegant.

Looking down, she sighed. Well that had been the plan. She tugged at the neckline, attempting to pull it up slightly. Despite having now hit the midpoint of her pregnancy she was still struggling to get used to her fuller figure. The sickness that had plagued her seemed to be finally easing, her conversation with Charlie having helped her wrestle back some control from the nightmares, meaning she was able to keep more food down and it was certainly beginning to show. She chuckled silently as she ran her hand over her bump, hopefully it would keep Megan from fussing quite so much when she next saw her but somehow she doubted that!

Duffy was broken from her thoughts by the sound of Charlie's voice from the bottom of the stairs. She rolled her eyes at his complaint that they were going to be late if she didn't hurry. She took one last look in the mirror and quickly tugged at her dress a final time before leaving the bathroom and heading towards the stairs.

Charlie looked up at the sound of footsteps at the top of the stairs. His jaw dropped as he took in the sight of her. Far too frequently in recent weeks she'd looked pale and exhausted but tonight she seemed to glow, her hair shimmering in the light.

Noticing his stare Duffy bit her lip nervously. Reaching the bottom of the stairs, she stopped in front of him. "Is it too much? You said the place we're going to was posh so..." She babbled nervously. 

Charlie reached out a hand and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. "Its perfect. You look gorgeous." 

Duffy blushed at the compliment. Looking down her eyes fixed on Charlie's tie that was slightly askew. Tutting softly she reached out and quickly straightened it before placing a soft kiss on his lips. She then turned to take her coat from the peg in the hallway. As she did Charlie found his eyes drawn down her body, over her bottom and down her legs where he suddenly stopped. 

"Should you be wearing those?" He asked, indicating her heeled shoes. "You could trip!" He added. 

Duffy shot him a sideways glare as she tilted her head to look at him. "I'll be sat down all evening. Anyway, they go with the dress." She then slipped her coat on, making it clear that there was to be no further comment on the topic. 

About thirty minutes later Charlie parked his car outside the most exclusive restaurant in Holby. He took advantage of Duffy's distraction as she stared open mouthed at the building to quickly exit the car and circle around it to pull open the passenger door.

Duffy snapped out of her shock and saw that Charlie was stood with his hand held out towards her. She giggled nervously as she unclipped her seat belt and swung her legs around, taking hold of Charlie's hand and allowing him to help her out the car. She then slipped her arm through his as they walked towards the entrance. Seeing a doorman waiting just inside Duffy was seized with a mild terror, when he'd said posh she hadn't expected this place! This was the kind of restaurant with a million knives and forks - not the kind of place a girl who grew up in a council flat ever expected to find herself dining in.

They walked through the door and handed over their coats before being shown to their table. Once seated they quietly looked at the menu. Charlie glanced over at Duffy and realised she looked slightly uncomfortable and confused. He lent over towards her.

"Are you OK? What's wrong?" He whispered.

"Nothing, I'm fine." She replied, staring intently at the menu.

Suddenly it dawned on him. "Do you not speak French?" He asked her quietly. He watched as she cast her eyes down embarrassed. He quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it. "Hey, it's OK, um, I have a confession to make... Neither do I! I was hoping that maybe you did." He admitted, blushing slightly.

She lifted her head to look at him. "You don't? Then why the hell..?" She looked at him incredulously.

Charlie's blush deepened. "I thought you'd be impressed." He mumbled. He swallowed awkwardly. "Maybe we could just close our eyes, point at the menu and that's what we'll have?" He suggested nervously.

Duffy couldn't stop the giggle that escaped her. "Sure, um, why not?" She shrugged.

Spotting the waiter approaching their table they quickly did as Charlie had suggested and placed their orders. He held her hand across the table as they both continued to giggle childishly over the fact they had no idea what food was going to shortly arrive at their table.

After a few minutes Duffy realised that Charlie had gone quiet and was staring at her. "What?" She asked.

"Your whole face lights up when you giggle. It's one of the first things I noticed about you." He admitted.

Duffy's eyebrow rose. "And dare I ask what the other things were?"

Charlie smirked. "Now that would be telling!" He remarked as the waiter returned to the table with their food.

Both looked down anxiously as their plates were placed in front of them. Charlie was the first to look back up and when Duffy finally did too he simply shrugged, laughed and raised his glass of water to toast with hers. He watched as she cautiously poked at her food with her fork, trying to ascertain what it was.

"Just put a forkful in your mouth and try it Duff! I doubt it'll kill you." He instructed playfully.

"You don't seem in any hurry to eat yours." She countered.

"Ladies first!" He replied with amused gallantry.

She rolled her eyes and placed some of the food in her mouth. She watched Charlie's face fill with concern at the face she pulled as she chewed.

"If you really hate it then you could have m..." He began, his words trailing off as he watched her swallow and give him an amused grin. He shook his head at her as he pulled a face at her teasing. Picking up his fork he tried a bite of his meal and was pleasantly surprised by it.

For the next few minutes nothing much was said as they both ate their meals though Charlie noticed that Duffy's eyes kept flickering around the room. He was able to ignore it at first but it quickly became quite distracting. He'd noticed her doing the same the last time they'd eaten together in a restaurant. That time he'd subsequently explained her behaviour away as being down to the secret turmoil she had be suffering but now he wasn't so sure. Finally he gave in to his curiosity, placed his fork down on the table and lent closer to get her attention.

"What is it with you and restaurants?" He whispered, his tone amused rather than annoyed.

Duffy blushed. "Don't you find restaurants really distracting too? All the people at the other tables talking and waiters milling around?"

Charlie raised an eyebrow at her. "Its supposed to be romantic. I thought all girls like that sort of thing..."

She flashed a cheeky grin at him before composing her features into something approaching a serious expression. "Sorry, I'll try to behave!" She giggled.

Charlie joined in her laugh as they both went back to their food. After finishing eating Duffy looked over at him, her head tilted slightly to one side, a curious expression on her face.

"So, tell me, how did you manage it then?" She queried.

"Manage what?"

"This." She explained, gesturing to the room around them.

Charlie smiled nervously. "Um, well, that would be telling."

Duffy narrowed her eyes and pouted as she picked up the dessert menu and ran her finger down the list.

Charlie sighed. Having Duffy get mad at him wasn't exactly how he had hoped this evening would turn out. "OK, do you remember that big RTA I told you about last week?"

She looked up at him and nodded.

"Well, one of the more serious injuries involved a teenage boy. We nearly lost him twice but we eventually managed to get him stabilised and up to theatre. A few hours later Ewart came into the staffroom to say that the boy's father wanted to speak to me. I must admit I feared the worse as I went over to the relatives room but I was greeted by a very exuberant gentleman who repeatedly thanked me for saving the life of his only son. He told me that he owned this restaurant and insisted that we came here tonight for a meal. So, um, here we are." He paused, struggling to read her expression. "Are you disappointed that I've not splashed out myself?" He asked nervously.

"No, not at all. I was worried about how you had afforded it and that you thought I expected this kind of thing all the time. I really don't!" She leant forward and whispered conspiritoraly. "I actually much prefer a night in front of the TV with a bag of chips."

Charlie smiled as Duffy went back to studying the dessert menu. He picked up the list and glanced at it but his mind was elsewhere. She really was one of a kind. Despite the difference in their ages, the fact that she was nothing like his usual 'type' and the stumbling block of their previous working relationship something just clicked when he was with her. He probably hadn't gone about it in the correct way, in fact he knew he hadn't, but being with her simply felt right. He put down the menu and instead focused solely on her. His smile widened as he watched her chew at her bottom lip, clearly determined not to be defeated by the words in front of her. Her stubbornness could be both deeply frustrating and utterly charming to him in equal measure. He'd thought at first that his attraction to her was purely physical, something fleeting brought on by the fact that she was a beautiful young woman with a mischievous glint in her eye but it was more than that. She was 'the one'. If someone had asked him two years ago if he believed such a thing even existed he would have laughed at them but now whenever he envisioned his future he couldn't imagine it without her playing a major part in it. Not just as the mother of his child but as his soul mate and lifelong companion, maybe even, if she'd let him, as his wife.

Charlie snapped back to reality as the sound of her saying his name finally penetrated his thoughts. He blushed.

"Have you decided already then?" She asked, indicating his menu that lay abandoned on the table.

"Um, yeh, I'll have that." In a panic he pointed blindly at the menu as the waiter returned to take their order.

Noticing his panic Duffy raised an eyebrow at him as she indicated her choice to the waiter.

It wasn't long before their food arrived and Duffy was instantly disappointed. Charlie's choice looked much more appetising that her own food.

Charlie inwardly sniggered as he noted the way Duffy was enviously eyeing up his dessert whilst pushing her own around the plate glumly. Scooping some up he held his fork out towards her.

Her eyes instantly lit up but rather than taking hold of the fork as he expected her to she lent forward and placed her lips around the fork, drawing them slowly down as she took the food into her mouth. She chewed slowly, savouring the taste before swallowing and running her tongue across her lips, never once breaking eye contact with him. Charlie felt himself grow very warm as he recalled what else she could do with those lips and tongue.

Looking back down at his food he inwardly chastised himself for having such thoughts. After everything she'd been through recently the last thing she needed was him behaving like a horny teenage boy!

Duffy sighed feeling bewildered at Charlie's reaction to her flirting. Maybe her idea for this evening hadn't been such a good one afterall.

The rest of the meal took place in an atmosphere of mildly awkward silence as both were lost in their own thoughts, contemplating their next move.

Placing his fork down, Charlie looked over nervously at Duffy before reaching inside his jacket, his fingers brushing against the box he'd hidden in the inside pocket. He began to pull it out...

"They probably have lots of people dining here tonight so we should head home so they can use the table." She suggested, pushing her chair away from the table slightly.

Charlie nodded and allowed the box to slip back inside his pocket before rising from his seat to offer her his arm as she stood up. They collected their coats and headed outside back towards his car.

Taking his keys from his pocket Charlie looked over at Duffy. "So, um, shall I drop you off at yours?"

Duffy bit her lip shyly. "I thought maybe we could go back to yours for a bit first. If that's OK?"

Charlie nodded as they got into the car. Duffy spent the journey gazing out the window, nervously playing with the hem of her dress. As they arrived back at Charlie's house she took a deep breath and determined not to allow her fears to talk her out of what she planned to do next. This was what she wanted. He was what she wanted. She sat down on the sofa as Charlie went to get them both a drink.

Charlie reentered the room, handing her a drink before sitting down next to her. He placed his arm across the back of the sofa, his fingertips lightly caressing her skin and playing with the strands of hair that cascaded over her bare shoulder.

Duffy took a small sip from her drink before placing it down. She rested her head against Charlie's shoulder and began to absentmindedly play with his tie. Charlie looked down curiously at her actions. She flashed him a seductive grin before tightening her grip around his tie and using it to pull him towards her for a kiss.

The kiss quickly heated up, his free hand reaching out to caress her hip and bottom as the hand that had been around her shoulders tangled in her hair. He felt her hands loosen his tie and pull it free before she began to undo his shirt buttons. It was the touch of her hand on his bare chest that finally broke through the passionate haze that had descended over his mind. As he gently pulled back, breaking the kiss, he saw the hint of uncertainty in her eyes.

"Maybe we should slow this down a bit?" He suggested softly.

Instantly the uncertainty in her eyes was gone, replaced by a mixture of hurt and fury. "Don't you want me like that? Is that what you mean?" She shot back at him as she got up from the sofa, preparing to leave.

Charlie quickly grabbed for her hand to stop her. "Of course I want you! But only if its what you want. I'd hate for you to do this simply because you think it's expected of you. That's not at all what tonight has been about to me. I just wanted to spend the evening with you, spoil you like you more than deserve. I don't expect anything in return. Just being here together is enough for me."

Duffy's eyes softened as she sat back down on the sofa next to him. She briefly looked down at his hand that was still clasped around hers. She looked back up, her eyes fixing on his.

"I want this. I really do. I want us to be together properly again." She lent forward and kissed him once more.

"If you're sure?" He asked. She nodded. "Then maybe we should move this somewhere a bit more comfortable? If that's OK with you?" He suggested.

She giggled as they got up from the sofa and walked hand in hand towards the stairs. As they paused to take their shoes off she thought she saw him take something out of his jacket pocket but by the time she'd turned fully around he was focused on his shoes. Inwardly shrugging she dismissed it and finished taking her shoes off. 

As they reached the bedroom Charlie turned on the bedside light, threw the contents of his pockets into the drawer and sat down on the bed. He looked over to where Duffy was stood in the doorway, the light from the hall throwing her curvaceous figure into silhouette. He finally allowed himself the luxury of letting his eyes roam over her figure, something he'd been resisting doing all evening despite the tempting glimpses her dress had afforded him. He hadn't wanted to make her feel uncomfortable in any way but now he knew what she wanted he fully indulged himself.

Duffy stepped closer to the bed. Despite knowing this was what she wanted, now it was approaching the moment she began to feel incredibly nervous. What if he didn't find her as attractive as he once had? Looking down at her figure she felt she could hardly blame him for that as she was becoming increasingly fat and frumpy. As she sat down on the bed Charlie reached over and caressed her cheek, looking deep into her eyes.

"You're beautiful. I love you." He whispered. It was like he could read her mind!

Charlie took her in his arms as they began to kiss once more. Feeling her start to relax in his embrace he slowly, gently caressed the outside of her thigh, allowing his fingertips to lightly graze under the hem of her dress as he did so. He pulled back slightly, searching her eyes for any indication that she was uncomfortable but she simply smiled before moving his other hand to the straps of her dress and bra.

Slowly he rolled the straps off her shoulder and down her arm, exposing her breast as he did so. He quickly moved to cup it, his hands confirming what his eyes had already told him, that her breasts were larger and fuller than they had been before, a side effect, no doubt, of her advancing pregnancy. As he ran his thumb over her nipple she let out a moan of pleasure. He grinned devilishly, dipping his head to take her nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, his other hand moving from her thigh to expose and caress her other breast as she lent back against the pillows, her moans increasing in pitch and volume. Charlie's body quickly reacted to the sounds, his cock becoming hard and straining against his trousers.

He shifted to kiss her once more, being careful not to lean over her for fear of making her feel crowded and frightened. He groaned against her lips as he felt her hands slide down his body and gently squeeze him before beginning to undo his trousers. She then reached her hand inside his boxers and ran her fingernail along his entire length before swirling it slowly around the tip. Emboldened by her actions he slid his hand up under her dress and tiptoed his fingers up the inside of her thigh until he reached her knickers. He once more looked into her eyes before moving his hand inside. He caressed her slowly before gently sliding his fingers inside her. She responded by circling her hand around his cock, moving it up and down whilst they kissed.

Feeling his arousal swiftly building Charlie pulled back. "I want to... Can I..?" He whispered urgently.

Seeing her nod he reached out to caress her cheek, waiting until she looked into his eyes. "I need to hear you say the words sweetheart, it's important."

Duffy briefly closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them once more. She recaptured Charlie's gaze. "Yes. I want us to have sex." Her tone was firm and unequivocal.

Charlie slowly eased her knickers down her legs before moving to sit back against the pillows, allowing Duffy to straddle him and take control. She bit her lower lip as she slowly guided him inside her, her hands trembling slightly as she did so.

"You OK?" He asked, giving her a moment to adjust and become comfortable again.

She nodded but then winced as she began to move herself up and down. Charlie placed his hand on her thigh, stilling her movements.

"We can stop. It's OK." He reassured her.

She knew his actions came from his love and concern for her but she was quickly becoming frustrated. The more he voiced his concerns the more it made her think about why. She sighed and then fixed him with a glare which rapidly morphed into a smirk as she felt his cock twitch inside her in reaction to her expression.

She winked at him before resuming her movements. He moved his hands to lightly grip her hips to help balance her as leaning forward on her hands was awkward. His fingers grasped at her bottom as she picked up the pace. Their gazes locked as their passions rose and Charlie watched as the dark look that had haunted Duffy's eyes for the previous few months melted away. The weeks of containing his passions meant it wasn't long before he felt the familiar sensations of his impending orgasm. Seeing that she was also close but not quite there yet he shifted his hand to massage her clit with his fingertip, his eyes urging her to let go and allow the sensations to wash over her. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as she could resist no more. The sounds of her moans pushed Charlie over the edge of his own orgasm. 

Utterly spent, Duffy shifted from Charlie's lap and flopped over to lie down next to him, both of them breathing hard. After catching their breath for a few moments they removed what remained of their clothing and snuggled up under the covers. 

A short while later, Duffy was falling asleep, content in Charlie's arms, when suddenly he moved, jolting her awake. 

"Shit!" He cursed. "I mean, um..." 

"Huh?" She mumbled sleepily. 

"I forgot to...wait a second..." Shifting over to the edge of the bed he reached over towards his drawer. "Close your eyes." He instructed her. 

She raised her eyebrow at him.

"Please, Duffy, for me?" He cajoled her. "Close your eyes." He repeated. 

She rolled her eyes. "Fine." She muttered, a hint of amusement in her tone. 

He sighed, then retrieved the box, placing it on her stomach. "You can open them again now."

She opened her eyes, looked at the box and then up at him, confusion written all over her face.

"It's um, for you, and um, for the baby." He explained. 

She picked up the box and slowly opened it, revealing a necklace. Her mouth dropped open slightly.

"It was my Mum's." He flicked open the front of the pendant, showing a tiny frame inside. "See, it has room for a photo of the baby."

"You want me to have it? Are you sure?" She asked, realising how precious the item must be to him. 

"Duffy, you are the mother of my child, my Mum would have loved to have met you. It's only right a part of her, is with you, and our baby."

Tears forming in her eyes, Duffy turned to Charlie. "I bet she was a lovely lady. She must have been to have a son as thoughtful and caring as you are." She kissed him lightly on the lips.

Pulling back slightly he looked into her eyes. "I want you to trust me Duffy. I will always be there for you, and our baby, for the rest of my life. This..." He picked up the locket, "is my promise to you."

She smiled before turning away, lifting her hair up to give him access to her neck.

He kissed her neck as he fixed the locket into place. "Do you promise to trust me?"

She moved the locket between her fingers. "Yes. It won't always be easy but together we can make it through?"

He smiled back at her, and gently tucked her hair behind her ear. "Together we can do anything."

Duffy smiled brightly but Charlie could see in her eyes how tired she was. He placed the box back on his bedside table and they snuggled back down under the covers. He kissed her forehead. "Love you."

"Love you too." She murmured as she fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

"I really don't think we need this." Charlie commented, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck as he looked at the item that Duffy pointed at excitedly. 

This was the second Saturday in a row that she'd dragged him around the various baby shops and department stores in Holby town centre. It wasn't that he lacked the enthusiasm for the task, it was just that as far as he understood all a baby needed was a cot, a pram, a changing mat, nappies and some clothes. Everything else seemed like unnecessary extra expense. Unfortunately for Charlie this was not a viewpoint shared by Duffy.

Charlie only half listened as she babbled excitedly about the item. Where on earth she got her energy from was beyond him. By now well into her third trimester she showed no sign of slowing down, still working 12 hour shifts despite her due date being only 8 weeks away. He'd tried to discuss the idea of her reducing her hours or, his preferred choice, going on maternity leave now but she had responsed by shouting at him so he was reluctant to raise the topic again.

He was suddenly torn from his thoughts by her prodding him in the arm.

"Are you even listening to me?"

"Well... Um..." He stuttered.

Duffy rolled her eyes as she let out a disgruntled sigh. "Well, what do you think?"

"Its a chair Duffy." He responded, confused by the enthusiastic look on her face. "The baby won't even be able to sit up for months so why would it need a chair?" 

"Its not a chair, it's a rocking swing. Look," She indicated some buttons on the side, "it's got an electric motor that rocks the baby gently. It's supposed to be soothing." 

"But where exactly would you plan on putting it?" He questioned. "It's huge!" 

"Well if I moved the sofa..." She began. 

"You are not doing anything of the sort Duffy!" Charlie interrupted, horrified at her suggestion. Unfazed by her glare, he continued. "Its too expensive anyway. Its bad enough that you're insisting we buy two of everything else without adding that on top too!" 

Duffy sighed, frustration seeping into her words. "We need two cots. Otherwise where is the baby going to sleep when we're at your house? It's not like it's practical for me to drag a cot back and forth across town on the bus several times a week!" 

Charlie looked at her aghast. "You're worried about what's practical all of a sudden are you? Well that makes a pleasant change!" He retorted, clearly frustrated.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She demanded, her hands moving to her hips as she glared at him.

"Erm..." Charlie mumbled, his mind suddenly blank, distracted by the vision in front of him. Even heavily pregnant she was still incredibly sexy when she was mad at him.

Duffy rolled her eyes as she saw the expression on Charlie's face change. "Well? Are you going to tell me?" 

Charlie winced at the change in her tone. Now she'd morphed from sexy into downright terrifying. "Um, you could just..."

"Just what Charlie?" She interrupted, folding her arms across her chest.

"...live with me?" He finished, unsure of how she was going to react. 

"That's a pretty big step." 

"Not if it's what we both want." He countered. "I want you to live with me." He paused. "Both of you."

"But what if it doesn't work out..?" 

"Can't we at least try?" He pleaded. 

She chewed at her lip. She wanted to throw caution to the wind and just say yes but still she worried things might go wrong.

"Duffy, just trust me, ok?"

"That's not the problem." She mumbled. 

"What do you mean?"

"It doesn't matter." 

"Of course it matters. We about to raise a baby together. Why can't we live together?"

She looked embarrassed. "I've never lived with a bloke before." She explained, her voice barely above a whisper. 

"We're practically living together already Duffy. Why would moving into my house be so bad?"

"I suppose you've got a point." She conceded. 

"Finally. She understands." He said, as he raised his hands up in triumph.

She briefly glared at him before childishly sticking her tongue out at him. Briefly surprised by her response he shook his head indulgently before returning the gesture. She tried to hold a straight face but couldn't, quickly bursting into giggles.

Charlie frowned at her, then began to giggle himself. He then took her by the hand and pulled her towards him. "It's a bloody good job I love you!" 

"Does that mean we can buy the swing?" She asked mischievously.

"Pfft!" Trust her to try that on him! "On one condition!"

"What condition?"

"That you move in with me this weekend."

She made a big show of contemplating the idea, looking intently at her watch. "Well, we're supposed to be meeting Megan for lunch in 10 minutes but I'm sure we can find some time after that to start moving my stuff."

"Seriously?" He asked in shock. 

"Yes it's almost twenty past twelve, we said we'd meet her at half past." 

"Duffy!?" He responded with amused annoyance. 

"What?" She replied with fake innocence. 

"You know exactly what!"

"Fine." She sighed theatrically. "Yes, OK. If the offer's still open I'd like to move in with you."

"Good! Now where do we go to pay for this thing anyway? Megan will lose her rag if we aren't there to meet her!"

"Um... I think the till was back over that way. Are you going to have time to take it back to the car before lunch?"

"We can pay for it now, and come back to collect it surely?" He reasoned. 

"You're probably right. Why don't you go do that while I take a look at a couple of other things?"

"Um, what things?" He queried, suspicion creeping into his voice. 

"Just some, um, clothes. That's all." She replied lightly. 

"More clothes?"

"They're really cute!" 

"So were the ones we bought last week." He pointed out. 

"Babies need plenty of clothes. In case they get messy." 

"They'll have a new outfit everyday at this rate!"

"Anyone would think you didn't want our child to be the best dressed baby in Holby Charlie!" She pouted. 

Charlie rolled his eyes at her. "Fine." He sighed.

She grinned at him and began to walk away. "I'll only be two minutes. I'll meet you by the till."

Charlie headed over to the till to pay for the swing. Partway through he was joined by Duffy who placed two yellow sleepsuits onto the counter.

He sighed, turning back to the cashier. "And those please."

Duffy kissed him on the cheek as he finished paying for the items. "Love you!"

"Yeah, yeah." He said, and smirked at her as she picked up the bag of clothes and they began to walk towards the exit holding hands. 

"There was a really lovely pink dress too but, well, I resisted the temptation!"

He glared at her as they turned into the street and began walking towards the café where they were meeting Megan. 

"I did consider buying it and then returning it if necessary."

"Or you could just wait?" He suggested, aspirated. It wasn't the first time that Duffy's impatience had gotten the better of her. 

"I knew you'd say that which is why I was good and didn't buy it."

"First you're being practical and now you're being good? I'm not sure I can handle this!" He teased, laughing at the face she pulled in response.

Duffy was about to retort when a familiar voice broke in from behind them. "I do hope you two aren't going to bicker throughout the entire meal!"

The pair turned towards the voice, exchanging greetings and hugs with the older woman. Duffy rolled her eyes and let out a disgruntled sigh when after parting from their hug Megan held her by the shoulders and studied her intently at arm's length.

Megan clicked her tongue as she cast her eyes over her younger friend. She still looked a little too slim for Megan's liking but at least her shoulders didn't feel quite as bony as they had done previously and she was also pleased to see that Duffy was wearing flat slip on style shoes rather than the zipped up heeled boots she'd been wearing the last time they'd met up. "You'll do, though a few more pounds wouldn't hurt you!"

Duffy rolled her eyes and shook her head in resignation as the three of them entered the café and found a table. They quickly picked their meals, Duffy refusing to meet Megan's gaze as she placed her order. Megan shot a look at Charlie, receiving only a frustrated shrug in response. It wasn't like he hadn't tried several times already.

Whilst they waited for their food Duffy excitedly told Megan about the purchases they had made that morning for the baby.

"So where exactly are you planning on putting all these things?" Megan queried.

"Well..." Duffy could barely contain her grin as she glanced shyly through her lashes at Charlie who had an equally silly look on his face. "I'm moving into Charlie's house this afternoon."

"Are you now?" Megan was genuinely pleased for the couple but at the same time a part of her couldn't help feeling that Duffy deserved something more in terms of commitment from Charlie. Though for all she knew maybe Charlie had asked her and she'd said no - she wouldn't put it past Duffy to pull a silly, short-sighted stunt like that. She could be stubborn to the point of foolishness sometimes afterall.

Before Megan had the chance to confirm or disprove her thoughts their meals arrived bringing a temporary pause to the conversation. As she ate she surreptitiously watched the couple sat opposite her. She wondered if either of them realised how they were behaving - the little glances and half smiles when the other wasn't paying attention, the way Charlie's hand would lightly brush against Duffy's as he reached for his drink and, most interesting of all, the way the fingers of Duffy's left hand kept absentmindedly fiddling with the necklace she wore. Megan had long been a people watcher, it was a key skill in her job afterall - being able to pick up on the little hints and messages in other's body language. As such she'd been fascinated by the pair of them since she'd first observed them together roughly a year ago now.

Though it had been clear from the off that there was a spark between them she'd feared that it was just a passing fancy that would ultimately end in tears. Over time, however, it had become apparent that they were besotted with each other and also surprisingly resillant, seemingly able to weather any storm that life threw at them, of which there had been many of late.

Megan broke from her musings as once more her gaze was drawn to the necklace Duffy wore. It looked unlike anything she'd previously seen the young woman wearing. It was delicate and old, possibly even antique, Megan couldn't be entirely sure as it was difficult for her to get a proper look at it due to Duffy's near constant movement. Finishing her food she placed down her fork and considered her options. She was at a bit of a loss as to how to broach the subject until Charlie excused himself from the table to use the bathroom, leaving the women alone. Megan immediately seized the opportunity to fulfil her curiosity.

Megan smiled as she saw Duffy's gaze follow Charlie as he crossed the room away from the table.

"Earth to Duffy!" Megan teased.

Duffy tore her eyes away from Charlie and back to focus on Megan, her cheeks colouring a deep red hue. "Sorry..." She mumbled.

"Oh tosh! There's no need to be embarrassed. It's lovely to see you so happy." She replied before looking pointedly at the necklace around Duffy's neck that she was still playing with.

Following Megan's gaze Duffy suddenly realised what she had been doing. She swiftly moved her hand away like it had been burnt. Seeing Megan's eyebrow raise in response she attempted to explain. "Er, um, it's..." She stammered.

"Present was it?" Megan queried. 

"Yeh, do you like it?" Duffy replied nervously. 

"Let me see." She lent forward as Duffy held it out away from her neck. "Oh yes, very nice."

"It belonged to his mum." Duffy explained. 

"Did it? His Mum? But I thought she..." Megan began, a little confused. 

"Yeh... Um... He said she would have wanted me to have it."

"Would have? But, Duffy, I've met his Mum." Megan questioned, utterly baffled by Duffy's reply. 

Seeing the confusion on Megan's face Duffy looked awkward, glancing around to check Charlie hadn't reappeared. "Um... That's not his mum..."

Megan rose her eyebrows up in shock. "She's not...she's not his Mum?"

"His mum died when he was 10." Duffy looked around her again. "Please don't tell him you know! I probably wasn't supposed to say anything." She babbled anxiously. 

"When he was ten? Oh poor Charlie. He never, he never once said. Poor boy." Megan replied, her heart breaking thinking of the trauma he'd suffered at such a tender age. 

"I think he only told me because I told him about my dad running off when I was little." Duffy shrugged, attempting to look unaffected by what had happened to her but the dark look in her eyes spoke volumes. 

"It explains it all. No wonder you're both so afraid of commitment." Megan replied sympathetically. 

"I just don't want to end up making a mess of things." Duffy whispered, her eyes cast downwards as her hand gently caressed her bump.

Charlie re-entered the room and saw the two women obviously deep in conversation. Deciding it would be best to leave them to it for a while he caught Megan's eye and mouthed "I'll be back soon" before quietly slipping out of the café to run a couple of errands. 

"It won't, if you just trust him Duffy." Megan replied, turning her attention back to her young friend. 

"I do trust him Megan. I just don't trust myself."

"What? Why?" Megan questioned, perplexed. 

"Well I'm the reason my parents split up, what's to say history won't repeat itself?"

"Duffy, a child is never the reason parents split up, never!" Megan countered. "What your Dad did was wrong. He left your Mum, as well as you. But that is his fault, his decision. Not your fault. There is no way Charlie would leave you. Heck, I tried my best to keep him away from you. But I clearly had no effect on him."

"You did what?! When?!" Duffy asked, shocked at the revelation. 

"Oh it doesn't matter. But, the point I'm making is, people chose their path in life. Charlie has, for want of a better word, done what his heart wanted him to do, not his head." She sighed. "He was chased by Baz and steered away from you by me, yet he still refused to be put off."

"Why would you do that though? You knew I liked him." 

"He was your boss Duffy. And nearly ten years older than you. On paper that is a fling waiting to happen, but would have only ended in tears."

"It did for a while." Duffy muttered darkly. 

"I mean, why else would a Senior Charge Nurse give driving lessons to a junior nurse, on his days off? Especially when he has a Doctor as a girlfriend too!" Megan rolled her eyes at Duffy.

"Alright, alright!" She held up her hands in surrender. "Guilty as charged, he suggested it as an offhand idea and I jumped at it." A small smile began to work its way back onto her face. 

"My point exactly. Why would he do that for you? You're a capable enough girl. And there's nothing wrong with using the bus."

"I'm glad you think so as I think I'll be using the bus for a while yet." She replied sheepishly. 

"Oh for goodness sake Duffy, you still haven't passed your test? I clearly need to have words with Charlie!"

"Its not his fault. I'm sure anyone would be reluctant to let me back behind the wheel of their car after finding out I crashed the test instructor's car on purpose in the middle of my test." She blurted out. 

"Duffy?! You did what!?"

Realising what she'd just admitted she desperately attempted to backpeddle. "Um... It was an accident!" She replied unconvincingly. 

"What was?" Charlie said, as he came up behind her, having re-entered the café moments earlier. 

"The car." Duffy sighed.

"Oh, right. Um, well, the wheel has a tendency to stiffen up sometimes, and pulls to the right a lot too. Not your fault, it is a temperamental thing." He explained, flicking a glance at Megan to see if she had bought his excuse. 

"She knows it wasn't your car that I crashed." Duffy laughed, rolling her eyes at him, it was rather sweet that he wanted to save her face over what had happened. 

"Um...er..." Charlie blushed

"Anyway, enough of that. Now you're back Charlie I have something I want to give you both." Megan commented, swiftly changing the subject.

"Oh, um... Us both?" Charlie asked inquisitively.

"Well, technically it's not really for either of you as such but as the baby isn't yet able to accept its own presents... Here." Megan explained as she handed a wrapped package to Duffy.

Duffy eyed the present and looked up at Megan who nodded encouragingly. She slowly peeled back the wrapping to reveal a knitted blanket. "Its beautiful Megan! Thank you." She gasped, tearing up slightly.

"It took me awhile, but a lot of effort went into it. And I wanted it to be something personal, from me."

"We'll treasure it, won't we Charlie?" She handed the blanket across so he could take a closer look. 

"We will." He replied, looking over at Megan and smiling. He knew that she hadn't initially approved of the relationship between himself and Duffy but he hoped that this gift, plus the support she had shown them both through recent months, was a sign that she had moved beyond her reservations and gave them her blessing - one thing that meant so much to them both. 

The emotion in the air between the three of them was palpable as they were interrupted by the bill for the meal arriving at the table, Charlie having requested it when he had arrived back from his brief trip away. Quickly checking the total, he then handed over the cash to pay for the meals, brushing away Megan's attempts to give him some money towards her food. 

Getting up from the table, Charlie slipped his arm around Duffy's back and the trio made their way out of the café. 

"Thank you both for a lovely meal. Take care and I shall see you soon." Megan told them as they exchanged hugs and parted. 

Charlie and Duffy headed back to his car. He had returned to the store and collected the baby swing whilst the women had been chatting so they were able to head straight over to her flat to begin packing up the essentials that she would need straight away, the plan being to collect or get rid of any remaining items at a later date before the flat was cleaned and the keys handed back to the landlord. 

About two hours later they finally arrived at Charlie's house, his car packed full with items that Duffy had sworn she really needed. Letting out a sigh Charlie got out of the car and walked around the car to open the boot. As he lifted the door he saw Duffy had joined him and was reaching into the boot. 

"Don't you dare Duffy. I mean it! I'll get the bags out of the car. Please for the love of God, just go in the house!" He insisted, he wasn't about to have this argument again, it had been bad enough at her flat. 

"Charlie I'm more than capable of helping!" She harumphed in response. 

"You are growing and carrying my child. Under no circumstances do I want you, or our baby hurt. Do. You. Understand. Me?" He reiterated, frustration shining through in his tone. 

"I manage just fine being on my feet for 12 hours and doing nights at work so I'm sure carrying a couple of bags won't do me any harm. Please just let me help, we'll get it done a lot quicker that way." She reasoned. 

"You know full well I'm not happy about that. In fact I'm strongly considering having a chat with your boss about it. Sister Michaels isn't it?" 

"Oh please don't get involved. I get enough flack off the others as it is without you going charging up there shouting the odds." She pleaded.

"Flack, what do you mean flack?" He asked, perplexed. 

"Its alright for you, you don't have to put up with the looks and little jokes." 

"What, just because I'm your boyfriend?" He really thought the gossips would have moved on from that by now! "That's ridiculous!"

"People think I slept with you to improve my career prospects. Coz apparently I'm too thick to get there by myself." She explained, her voice trailing off towards the end, the comments hurt her greatly. 

"That's absurd! You are in no way thick Duffy! You'll be Sister one day, and then you'll laugh in their faces!" He reassured her, trying not to let his anger show but he was fuming inside. How dare they make her feel like that! 

"You really think so?" She asked. 

Regardless of any personal feelings he held for her, it saddened Charlie to see such a capable nurse so obviously doubting herself. "Prove it to them Duffy. You are more than what they think of you, so much more."

"And here was me thinking you'd be wanting me to give up working once the baby is here." She replied, changing tacts slightly. 

"Why? Just because you'll have the baby, doesn't mean I expect you to become a housewife. I know that is the last thing you'd ever want to do." 

"You'd be OK with that? With me still working afterwards?"

"I would never expect you to do anything other than what you have worked so hard to achieve." He reasoned. 

"OK." She paused, processing everything he has said before a cheeky smile appeared on her face. "Well, if that's the case then I'd better start teaching you to cook because I refuse to make all our meals after we've both finished a 12 hour shift!" She remarked with a grin. 

"Ha ha, that's my girl."

"And don't you forget it!" She smirked before she quickly grabbed two bags from the boot, hoping he won't notice, and headed towards the house.

Charlie smirked back at her at first, then shook his head at her, realising she had fooled him by running away with the bags.

Duffy grined triumphantly at Charlie as he joined her by the front door.

"I'll never win with you will I?" He asked as he unlocked the front door.

"Probably not but it does amuse me watching you keep trying." She laughed as she followed him into the house. 

"Worth it then?" He chuckled. 

"Keeps me sharp trying to outwit you." She retorted as she began to head back towards the door to fetch more stuff from the car.

Charlie sighed once again, and followed her back outside. "Duffy, can you just..?" 

"Just what?"

He sighed as she stopped and glared at him. "Just let me do that, please?" 

"I want to be helpful." She whined. 

"We could both do with a drink after sorting all this lot out. Why don't you make us a cuppa?" He suggested. "I won't be long. Honestly." He added. 

She stared at him for a few moments, trying to ascertain if he was being serious. Realising he was she rolled her eyes before walking back towards the house. "What happened to me not becoming a housewife?" She muttered sarcastically over her shoulder.

Charlie sighed. "You're 7 months pregnant Duffy!"

Duffy rolled her eyes once more, muttering to herself as she went back inside the house.

Charlie just shook his head at her, he would never win, and he knew it.

Duffy lent back against the kitchen sideboard and watched as Charlie carried the remainder of her stuff inside, still sulking slightly at being sidelined. She made their teas once the kettle had boiled, picking up her mug and blowing across the top to cool the contents enough to be drinkable. She took a couple of sips before Charlie entered the kitchen, pulling his jacket off as he did so and wiping his hand across his forehead and through his hair, the sweat he'd worked up from carrying everything inside causing his curly hair to become tousled and stuck up in places. She bit her lip as she watched him, she was struggling to hang onto her reasons for being cross with him!

Charlie filled up a glass with water and drank that before picking up the mug of tea Duffy had made him from the counter next to her. She hadn't uttered a word since he'd entered, just watched him silently. "Are you still mad with me?" He ventured softly.

Duffy pouted. "Maybe..." She murmured before slowly lifting her hand and running it up his chest. "But I think I can forgive you." She smirked as she reached his shirt collar. Grasping hold of it she pulled him closer and kissed him. The kiss quickly deepened until Charlie felt a sharp poke hit him just below the ribs. Stepping back he laughed as he rubbed her bump feeling two more sharp kicks as he did so.

"I swear every time I kiss you lately I get kicked!" He complained. Addressing the baby directly he attempted to sound stern. "I'm not sure why you have such a problem with me kissing your mummy but it needs to stop."

Duffy snorted with laughter at his tone. "I do hope you get better at that before this baby is old enough to need discipling." She paused before carrying on speaking in a more serious tone. "About earlier... I'm sorry for getting mad at you. You were just being you, trying to look out for me."

"I'm glad you're able to see that. All's forgiven then?" 

Duffy smiled and nodded. She really couldn't stay mad at him for long. 

"Good, because I've got something for you..." He reached into his trouser pocket and held out a set of keys towards her. "I had them cut earlier whilst you and Megan were chatting." He explained.

"Oh, I did wonder what took you so long." She chuckled. She turned and placed them in her handbag for safe keeping before finishing off the last of her tea. "Now hurry up and finish your drink because I've got some ideas for the nursery that I'd like your opinion on." She told him as she pushed away from the side and walked into the hallway.

Charlie sighed. "Don't I at least get to sit down for five minutes first?" He asked her retreating figure as she disappeared up the stairs. He shook his head and chuckled, apparently not it seemed. He drained his mug and placed it down by the sink before following her upstairs.


	10. Chapter 10

As Charlie stepped onto the kerb outside Megan's house he was frustrated to see Duffy was already halfway out the car. He lent over to try and help her but she swatted his hands away. He sighed. "I know your back is still causing you problems so will you please let me help you?"

Duffy rolled her eyes before finally giving in and letting Charlie take hold of her hands in one of his whilst he wrapped his other arm around her shoulder so she could stand up more easily. Once stood on the kerb she waited until Charlie had turned around to lock the car before she began to massage her lower back, trying unsuccessfully to ease the ache that had become a near constant issue in the last week. The midwife had informed her at her most recent appointment that the baby had shifted and was lying awkwardly with its spine pressed up against hers and that the pain would ease when it eventually moved again. She sighed. She really hoped that happened soon because she didn't think she could face another five weeks of this, especially as three of those weeks would be spent working before her maternity leave started. She quickly moved her hand as she saw Charlie turn back around.

"You really didn't have to come tonight Duffy, no-one would have minded. You should be resting." Charlie said, concerned by how exhausted she looked.

"And miss out on seeing our friends and helping get the permanent nightshift back? You must be kidding!" She remarked as she walked towards the front door.

Heaving a sigh Charlie followed on behind her. He reached the door just as Megan opened it, the sound of raised voices instantly flowing over them from the sitting room. Duffy ignored Megan's probing look as the trio walked down the hall. Charlie simply sighed and shrugged when Megan gave him a questioning look. He was about to explain further when he was verbally accosted by Andy as he walked through the door.

"Ah Charlie! There you are. You'll back me up! Ewart doesn't want to involve the unions, tell him that's a stupid idea!"

Charlie looked aghast at Ewart. "We have to involve the unions, we need the numbers they can provide..."

It didn't take long before Charlie was fully caught up in the disagreements over how to best change the trust's minds over shutting down the nightshift. Duffy shook her head indulgently at him. His passion and fire about important issues was one of the reasons she loved him. Spotting a space on the sofa next to Susie she slowly eased herself down, grimacing as she did so.

Susie's eyes widened as she took in her friend's appearance. "Oh my god Duff, you're huge!" She gasped.

Duffy rolled her eyes and glared. "Just what every pregnant woman wants to hear, thanks Susie!"

Susie winced at Duffy's tone. "Sorry, it's just, well, I know it's been a few months since I last saw you but, wow, you look like you're about to pop!"

Duffy sighed, fidgeting slightly. The sofa wasn't helping her back at all, if anything she felt worse. "No, still a few more weeks left to go yet."

"I still can't believe you're gunna be a mum soon! And with Charlie of all blokes!"

"Oi, Charlie's a really great guy Susie." Duffy shot back.

"Hark at you! It weren't so long ago that you were spending half your time complaining to me about how much of an arse he was." Susie countered.

"Yeh, well, OK, so he wound me up sometimes..."

Susie smirked. "You know, I did used to wonder if maybe you were protesting just a little too much. Now I know you were!"

Duffy rolled her eyes and sighed. She'd honestly thought that she'd done a good job back then of hiding her feelings for Charlie but it seemed not given that both Megan and Susie had apparently figured it out. She was about to refute her friend's allegation but Susie's attention was drawn away by Sandra asking her a question.

Duffy shifted slightly on the sofa, still unable to get comfortable. Suddenly a pain shot up her back and around her hip. It took a concerted effort not to cry out and attract the attention of the others but just as quickly as it appeared it disappeared so she dismissed it as a muscle twinge and tried to focus on the conversation around her.

Duffy lost track of the time as she phased in and out of the conversations going on around her. The pain in her back was getting worse and the baby refused to stop kicking and wriggling. The fact she'd barely gotten any sleep for several nights now wasn't helping, she had a splitting headache. The room felt increasingly hot and the baby's constant movements were starting to make her feel incredibly nauseous.

Unable to bare it any longer she lightly nudged Susie's arm. Once her friend turned around Duffy whispered. "I'm just gunna pop to the toilet, I won't be long."

Susie nodded and briefly watched as Duffy struggled to get up from the sofa. She was about to help but the glare she received made her rapidly change her mind. She shrugged as Duffy finally managed to stand up and slowly made her way out the room. She then turned her attention back to the main discussion.

Duffy was forced to stop and sit down halfway up the stairs as an excruciating pain tore around her middle. Putting her head down she let out a slow breath before breathing in again through her nose. She repeated the action two more times before realising that the pain in her back seemed to have shifted and eased slightly. She sighed with relief, the baby must have finally moved off her spine. She used the bannister to hoist herself back up to standing and was about to head downstairs when the overwhelming feelings of nausea overtook her once more.

Duffy staggered up the stairs, just about making into the bathroom and over to the toilet before she was violently sick. She then retched repeatedly until there was nothing left for her to bring up. She slumped down to sit on the floor, feeling weak and shaking slightly as she attempted to call out.

Receiving no response to her pleas she began to cry before another, stronger pain surged through her causing her to let out a scream. She attempted to get up but quickly became dizzy so instead tried to drag herself across the floor towards the partially closed door.

Her attempts were thwarted however by the pains that by now were coming thick and fast. She could barely tell when one ended and another began. She had almost managed to grab the door when she felt a sudden pop and a gush of warm liquid quickly soaked her underwear, dress and legs before forming a pool on the floor around her. Something didn't feel right, the midwife had said it would feel like water but this felt thicker than that. She began to scream once more but her voice seemed to come out barely above a whisper.

Back in the sitting room Megan was quickly growing frustrated with the argument that seemed to be escalating between Ewart, Charlie and Andy so she decided to join the women in the hopes of a more sensible discussion. Spying a spare spot on the sofa she worked her way over and sat down. She was about to join in the conversation when she suddenly realised they were missing someone.

"Susie, where's Duffy?" She queried.

Susie looked up from the petition that Sandra had been showing her, glanced around the room and shrugged. "She said something about going to the toilet."

"When was that?" Megan asked.

"Hmm, I don't know. Maybe 10, 15 minutes ago. Not sure."

Something about Susie's answer didn't sit well with Megan. She stood up from the sofa and headed towards the stairs. Leaning around the bannister she called out.

"Duffy pet, are you up there?" She waited a moment but received no reply. She tried again. "Duffy, everything OK?" Again there was no verbal reply but she heard what sounded like a bang. A knot began to form in her stomach as she quickly made her way up the stairs. As she reached the top she heard a muffled groan. She began to open the door but only managed to move it a few inches before it hit something and wouldn't move any further. Megan shifted so she could look around the small opening she'd managed to create and gasped, immediately dropping to her knees as she tried to reach around the door.

"Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Duffy!" She gasped in horror.

Reaching her hand through the gap Megan was able to brush her fingertips across the younger woman's cheek. It felt warm and the touch elicited a groan from Duffy as her eyelids flickered open before immediately scrunching closed again in pain. Once the contraction had passed and Duffy was able to focus once more Megan began to question her.

"Did you faint? Are you able to move so I can get the door open properly?"

Duffy shook her head and then nodded as she slowly shuffled across the floor enough to free the door that had been jammed against her shoulder.

Now able to get the door open enough to squeeze into the bathroom Megan surveyed the scene in front of her with increasing horror. There was blood, amniotic fluid and vomit on the floor, most of it pooled around where Duffy lay quietly crying and groaning in pain. Megan crouched down next to her and gently stroked the younger woman's hair reassuringly.

"You're going to be OK pet but we need to get you to the hospital quickly. I'm going to leave you for a couple of minutes so I can get the others to help me. Don't be scared, I won't be long I promise." She pressed a soft kiss on Duffy's forehead before leaving the room.

Megan dashed down the stairs and back into the sitting room where she tried to get Charlie's attention.

"Charlie." No response. "Charlie!" Still nothing. "Oh for God's sake will you all shut up?!" She shouted.

Megan's voice bounced off the walls of the small room, stunning everyone into immediate silence. She grapped Charlie's sleeve.

"Megan!" He paused seeing the look in her eyes. "What's happened?" He suddenly realised his girlfriend was conspicuous by her absence. His heart began to race. "No..!" He pulled his arm free.

Megan quickly explained what had happened as the group began to make its way up the stairs. Charlie was first to reach the doorway, having taken the steps two at a time but as soon as he saw her he froze, panic and terror seizing him. Ewart and Megan squeezed around him and knelt down beside Duffy whilst the others waited on the landing.

"I need to examine you Lisa. Megan is gunna help ease you over onto your back OK?"

As Megan did as he instructed Ewart looked up at Charlie. He'd never seen the young man look so terrified and at a loss as to what to do. "Charlie... Charlie!" The younger man suddenly startled, breaking out of his frozen state. "Can you hold her hand for me? This is probably going to be uncomfortable but you'll be able to keep her calm."

Charlie stepped forwards and sank to his knees next to Duffy. As he took hold of her hand she looked up at him, her eyes clouded with pain and terror. He squeezed her hand and tried to give her what he hoped was a reassuring smile. His chest tightened as he held her gaze, he'd never felt so helpless and afraid. His head snapped up as he heard Ewart begin speaking again.

"Right is there any word on that ambulance? She's 6cm, we need to get her to hospital soon. I can't work out where the bleeding is coming from but it appears to have stopped for the time being. I can feel the top of baby's head so all the waters have gone." He turned to address Duffy. "Have you felt baby move since your waters broke?" She nodded. Ewart looked up as he saw Megan turn back from the doorway where she'd gone to ask about the ambulance.

"Susie called them but there's a huge accident on the edge of town. They'll be at least 30 mins." She relayed. He could hear Andy muttering angrily from the hallway.

"OK, we don't have that kind of time so I suggest we get her to my car and I'll drive her. We'll have to go to St James'."

Megan moved Charlie back as Andy and Sandra came through the door and began to move Duffy downstairs. Charlie rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, his hand shaking as he did so. Megan pulled him into a brief hug. "She'll be OK, they both will be." She whispered reassuringly in his ear before they both followed downstairs and out to the car.

By the time they arrived outside Andy and Sandra had managed to manouvere Duffy into the back seat. Charlie climbed in next to her and Megan slipped into the front seat, throwing her house keys at Sandra with instructions to lock up and post the keys through the letterbox once the house was secure.

Charlie looked over at Duffy who was still shaking and sobbing quietly. He gripped her hand. "You're gunna be OK." He mumbled repeatedly, trying to convince himself at the same time as reassuring her. He'd known she was in some discomfort when they'd arrived but she'd seemed otherwise OK. But now... Things had escalated so quickly. Why the hell hadn't she said anything? Surely she'd realised something wasn't right!

"Charlie I'm scared..." Duffy whispered inbetween groans of pain.

He stroked her cheek, wiping away the tears that had gathered there. "Hey, hey, you've got a doctor and two nurses with you, you're going to be fine. I won't let anything happen to you." He vowed.

In the front of the car Megan and Ewart exchanged worried glances. Under normal circumstances Charlie would know better than to give such blanket reassurances but they understood why he had.

Megan turned as she heard Duffy let out a sudden scream. Clearly the pain was reaching an unbearable point which was not a good sign. She glanced at Ewart and mouthed "How long?" Her chest tightened as he mouthed "20 minutes" back at her. She wasn't sure they had that long...

Charlie looked down at where Duffy clutched his hand with her own. Her knuckles were white and he could see specks of his own blood from where her nails had dug into his skin. Though he didn't think it was possible she suddenly gripped tighter and her head came forward, her chin pressing into her chest.

Charlie's eyes widened. "What the hell are you doing?"

Duffy let out a breath. "Baby... Need... Push..." She gasped.

"No! Shit! Ewart, we need to stop the car now!" Charlie shouted in a panic.

"If I stop the car now we won't make it in time Charlie." Ewart attempted to explain.

"I don't think we're gunna make it anyway!" Charlie shot back.

Ewart looked over at Megan who nodded. He pulled the car over onto the grass verge.

As soon as the car stopped Charlie attempted to move backwards to allow Ewart to take his place and then move around to the other side of the car to where Megan had already dashed around and opened the door so he could support Duffy but she refused to let go of his hand.

"I need to move to let Ewart in so he can deliver the baby. I'll be two seconds til I'm back with you."

"No you!" She gasped between pushes.

"Duffy! Be serious! I'm not a doctor!" He begged her but could see in her eyes that she wasn't going to change her mind. He looked helplessly at Ewart.

"Its OK, you can do this. I'll help you. You've done this kind of thing before." The older man reassured him, squeezing Charlie's shoulder.

Charlie swallowed hard before turning back to Duffy. He took a steadying breath as he tried to stop himself thinking about how much he loved Duffy and how one small error on his part could cost him everything he held dear.

"Right, firstly, can you see the baby's head when she pushes?" Ewart asked. Charlie checked and nodded. "OK, Megan are you alright supporting Duffy from there?" The older woman had moved so that she was perched on the edge of the back seat, Duffy lent back against her shoulder. Megan reached over and carefully eased Duffy's hand from Charlie's and took it securely in her own, offering her young friends a smile that looked more confident and encouraging than she felt inside.

Ewart continued to issue instructions to Charlie as he rooted through his car boot for something to wrap the baby in once it was delivered. All he could find was a suit jacket, it wasn't the softest but it was warm so it would have to do. He grabbed it and slammed the boot lid shut as he heard Charlie shout that the baby's head was out. "Now carefully check around the baby's neck." Given the earliness and speed of the delivery plus the awkward positioning of the baby prior to labour beginning Ewart didn't want to risk the cord being wrapped around the baby's neck.

"Its clear." Charlie confirmed.

"Good. Support the head whilst the shoulders are delivered."

"You're doing so well pet, you can do this." Megan encouraged as she wiped Duffy's fringe away from her sweaty brow.

Duffy let out a gutteral scream as the others encouraged her to push harder. It was clear to them all that she was quickly tiring and they didn't want to risk the baby becoming distressed, further complicating matters. Several moments passed as Duffy struggled to push through the increasing weakness she felt until after a final piercing scream the baby slipped into Charlie's waiting arms.

Silence echoed around the car as Charlie quickly wrapped the baby, gently rubbing its body, panic gripping him as he anxiously waited for the child's skin to pink up or for it to make a noise, his hands shaking the entire time. He looked up at Ewart, about to totally lose control of his emotions, when a small gasp and weak cry was suddenly heard.

The others breathed a sigh of relief, letting out breaths they didn't realise they were holding. Charlie shifted the baby in his arms so Duffy could better see their child as Megan and Ewart dashed back round to the front seats of the bar, there wasn't a moment to lose in getting to the hospital. 

Putting his foot down Ewart drove as fast as he could through the streets of Holby. 

Sensing the tense atmosphere in the car Megan turned around to check on the new family. "Well, come on, don't leave us in suspense..!" She implored with a smile, focusing on the positives. 

Charlie smile widened and Duffy looked up from the baby suddenly realising she didn't actually know herself. 

"Its a boy!" Charlie beemed. 

A more comfortable silence settled over the occupants of the car, occasionally punctuated by Ewart's frustrated sighs at the traffic and soft noises from the newborn who, despite his rapid and early entrance into the world, seemed to be holding his own. Charlie kissed Duffy's forehead as she rested her head against his shoulder.

Charlie was unsure how many minutes had passed, consumed as he was by staring at the perfect little boy who lay contentedly in his arms, before he began to notice a damp feeling on his leg. Shuffling his son over onto his left arm he reached his right hand down to the damp patch. Lifting his fingers up into the light he quickly realised that it was blood that was dripping from them. He quickly nudged Duffy.

"Duffy?" No response. He nudged harder. "Duffy?!" Panic gripped his tone. She let out a slight groan but didn't open her eyes. "Ewart, are we nearly there? She's bleeding and I can't rouse her!" He shouted, terrified.

"Two minutes!" Came the reply from the driving seat.

Charlie repeatedly nudged her as hard as he could whilst still holding the baby. Desperation filled his voice as he spoke. "Come on Duffy! Wake up! Don't do this, our son needs you, I need you!" Tears were running freely down his cheeks now. "Please, I love you, just wake up!" He sobbed. He barely noticed as the car stopped and medics from St James' swarmed around him, taking his son from his arms as they moved him and Duffy onto a stretcher and rushed inside.

He quickly raced inside after her and reached the doors of crash just as they swung shut in front of him, standing stunned and bewildered as more medics ran past into the room. Megan reached out and grabbed Charlie as his knees buckled, Ewart lurching to aid her. She pulled Charlie into her arms as he sobbed. "Please let them be OK." Megan looked over Charlie's head at Ewart and they exchanged an anxious look. They'd both seen how much blood Duffy had lost and their training told them it didn't look promising.


	11. Chapter 11

Time seemed to go into slow motion as Charlie stood in the corridor outside crash waiting for news, his head spinning as he tried to process the events of the last couple of hours. He was a father. He had a son. His joy at that, however, was tempered by the fact that the woman he loved was quite possibly bleeding to death in the next room and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it.

He looked up as he heard the doors swing open and a doctor strode out into the corridor. He was an older gentleman, a similar age to Ewart but lacked Ewart's kind looking face. Without preamble he addressed Charlie.

"Are you the husband?" He asked. Charlie nodded. "We've managed to stabilise your wife for the moment but she'll be going up to surgery shortly. We won't be able to form a proper prognosis until after that."

Charlie sighed. It was good news and bad news but at least it was news. "And my son? Is he OK?"

"The paediatrian will be out to see you shortly."

"Can I see her before she goes up to surgery?"

The doctor hesitated, about to refuse, before Ewart caught his eye and the pair exchanged a series of looks. The doctor sighed. "OK, but you must be quick." He led Charlie through the doors.

Charlie's chest tightened as he took in the state of the room which showed what he recognised as the clear signs of a frantic fight to save someone's life. He tried to push such thoughts from his mind as he approached the trolley she lay on. Her normally pale skin appeared ghostly and she was so still and quiet - two things he would never normally associate with her.

He reached out to touch her cheek thankful to feel it was warm rather than cool as he was somewhat expecting from her appearance.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, tears rolling down his cheeks once more. "This is all my fault. I should have realised sooner that you weren't well. Some nurse I am!" He remarked bitterly. He heard the porters entering behind him. Realising he only had moments before they needed to take her, he bent down and kissed her cheek. "I'll be waiting for you when you get out of surgery. You'll be ok, you're a fighter. I love you so much." He kissed her one last time before stepping back and allowing the staff to do their jobs. He had reached the door when a young nurse stepped up to him and placed an item in his hand. He looked down and saw that it was the necklace he'd given Duffy several weeks previously. She'd not taken it off since. He closed his eyes briefly as he ran his thumb over the front of the locket before placing it in his pocket and pushing the door open. 

As Charlie reentered the corridor he saw another doctor had joined Ewart and Megan. He was a similar age to Charlie and offered a reassuring smile as Charlie approached.

"Hello, I'm Dr Peters." He held out his hand.

"I'm Charlie." He replied, shaking the proffered hand.

"Well Charlie you'll be pleased to hear that despite his dramatic entrance into the world your son is doing remarkably well. He's breathing on his own but due to his small size and early arrival we've taken him up to the special baby unit to be monitored. It's simply a precaution though. I can take you up to see him if you'd like whilst your wife is in surgery?"

Charlie nodded. "I'd like that yes."

Charlie followed Dr Peters through the hospital until they reached the baby unit. They both washed their hands thoroughly before entering the room. Charlie was then led over to an incubator cot in the corner. Other than the monitoring leads and his small size the child looked like any other baby. Charlie reached out to touch him but stopped midway, unsure if it was OK. Dr Peters nodded encouragingly before leaving to give them some time alone. 

Reaching his hand through the small opening he placed his fingertip against his son's open hand. The child immediately gripped his father's finger. Charlie gazed at his son, taking in every inch of the tiny, yet perfect, little boy. The child had a sprinkling of light hair, Charlie smiled, he wasn't sure if it was a trick of the light or his eyes deceiving him but he swore there was a reddish hue to the boy's hair. He counted ten little fingers and ten tiny toes.

Minutes trickled by as Charlie stood silently watching his son sleeping before he turned and left the room to go see if there was any news on Duffy.

Reaching the relatives room Charlie pushed open the door to find Ewart sat in one of the chairs.

"Megan's gone to call the others and check in with her family." Ewart smiled. "I think she had a sudden uncontrollable urge to make sure her boys were OK. She'll be back soon though."

Charlie nodded mutely and slumped down into one of the other chairs, dropping his head into his hands.

"How's your little boy?" Ewart asked softly.

Charlie glanced up. "He's... Perfect. Sleeping and doing really well. The doctor says he shouldn't have any long term issues." He replied, awestruck. 

"That's the best news but I'm not surprised. He's a fighter like his parents."

Charlie sighed. "It should have been you who delivered him, then maybe none of this..." His voice choked.

Ewart reached out a hand and squeezed the younger man's shoulder. "Its likely things would have happened just the same as they did even if I had. She'd already lost a lot of blood before we even knew anything was wrong. We all did our best and now we just have to wait."

"I should have insisted to her that you take over." Charlie argued.

"And waste precious time arguing? Duffy may be young and a touch naive at times but she has a stubborn streak a mile wide. Mark my words she'll be keeping you on your toes for many years to come yet."

The two men lapsed into a comfortable silence, both preoccupied by their own thoughts. Several minutes passed before Charlie reached into his jacket pocket. He sat staring at the cigarettes and matches in his hand.

"She thinks I've quit." He explained with a sigh. "I keep trying but then the stress gets too much." He took a cigarette from the packet, lit it and took a long drag.

Neither man spoke as Charlie continued to smoke the cigarette. As he stubbed it out Ewart regarded him with a serious look. "You should marry her you know."

Charlie chuckled humourlessly. "Maybe talk to Duffy about that. It took me months to convince her to even move in with me!"

"Feel free to call me an old fuddy duddy if you like Charlie but I believe it's a man's job to propose marriage. Especially when the young lady in question has just given birth to his child." He replied pointedly.

Before Charlie could respond the door opened and Megan reappeared.

"Everything OK?" Ewart enquired.

"Yes. Their main concern seemed to be making sure I'd be home in time for breakfast. Anyone would think they were still children instead of fully grown men!" She shook her head and sighed.

Seeing Charlie try to conceal a yawn Ewart stood up. "I'm going to get us all some coffee." He placed a hand on Charlie's shoulder. "Think on what I said."

Megan took the seat next to Charlie after Ewart left. "What was that all about?" She asked.

"Ewart says I should marry Duffy." He explained.

"And I agree with him."

"I thought you might!" Charlie joked.

"Dont get smart Charlie." She admonished. "You seemed happy enough to tell them downstairs that you were her husband so what's the problem?"

"Well I thought they might not let me see her if they knew she was my girlfriend and not my wife." He countered.

"There's an easy way to fix that problem Charlie."

"Wish me luck convincing Duffy of that!"

"You think she doesn't want to get married? Have you actually asked her?" Megan questioned.

"Well, no, but..."

"But nothing Charlie! You need to show her that you're serious. Marrying her would do that." Megan pointed out.

"No it wouldn't. To her it would simply show that I was willing to do what society expected of me and that I want her to do the same. But I don't. I want her to do whatever makes her happy."

"Well that's a lovely thought Charlie but has either of you considered your son in all of this? The impact your decisions have on him?"

Charlie sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked up as Ewart returned and handed him a cup of coffee. As he sipped the drink his mind processed the conversations. Of course he wanted to marry Duffy, to be able to call her his wife and for it to actually be true. But he didn't want her to marry him because she thought that was what was expected of her - just like when they'd discussed whether she'd go back to work. Not that he anticipated her meekly agreeing to a wedding if that wasn't what she wanted. It was more likely that she'd simply say no and he wasn't sure he could cope with her rejecting him like that. He placed his empty cup on the table and lent back in his chair, staring silently at the ceiling.

It was a couple of hours later when Charlie awoke with a start, opening his eyes and seeing a doctor stood in the open doorway. Panic gripped him. "Is she..?" He couldn't finish the question.

"She's alive." The doctor confirmed. "The operation was complicated and she's very weak. The next few hours will be crucial but I'm confident of her chances. I can take you to see her?"

Charlie followed the doctor up to the ward, allowing his two friends to return to their own homes for a few hours of sleep before they would be required at work.

Reaching the door of her room Charlie took a deep, steadying breath. He pushed open the door and walked over towards her bed. She was still incredibly pale but her cheeks held a little more colour compared with the last time he'd seen her, likely the result of the no doubt multiple blood transfusions she had been given.

He sank down into the chair beside her and took hold of her hand, caressing the back of it with his thumb. He placed her hand back down and reached into his pocket. Leaning forward he gently placed the locket back around her neck. He reclaimed her hand and gave her a gentle kiss before laying his head down next to hers.

"You're going to be OK, I'm here with you now. I love you." He whispered before falling asleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Charlie's eyelids flickered open and he sleepily gazed around, squinting at the bright morning sunshine that filtered through the gaps in the blinds. He wasn't sure what had woken him and was about to go back to sleep when he heard a quiet groan from next to him. Looking across he saw that Duffy was beginning to stir, though her eyes were still closed. He sat up and ran the fingertips of his free hand across her cheek, his other hand still wrapped around hers as it had been all night.

Feeling his touch on her cheek Duffy slowly opened her eyes. It took a few moments for the room to come fully into focus. Everything hurt and she felt so tired. Not recognising the room she instead focused on the one thing that was familiar and comforting - Charlie. Looking up at his face she offered him a weak smile.

"Hello beautiful, how are you feeling?" He asked.

"Sore." She mumbled, her voice dry and cracking.

Reaching behind him Charlie picked up a cup of water and held it to Duffy's lips, helping her drink a couple of sips.

"Thanks." She said as he placed the cup back on the table, her voice a little stronger.

Feeling a bit more awake Duffy looked around the room again, a nervous knot building inside her as she realised it was just the two of them in the room.

"Where's Matthew?" She asked anxiously.

"Matthew?" He repeated, confused, but then a smile slowly appeared as he realised. "Oh, so that's what we're calling him is it?" He laughed as Duffy shrugged in response. "With him arriving so quickly and early the doctors want to keep an eye on him in the special care unit but I saw him earlier and he's just perfect." He smiled as Duffy visibly relaxed at the news. "So did you have a middle name in mind too or is it open to discussion?" He teased.

"Well I've been thinking that Matthew Charles would be a great name." She suggested.

Charlie blushed at the idea and was about to suggest some alternatives but then he caught the steely glint in Duffy's eye that she always got when her mind was made up and she wasn't in the mood to argue. He smiled. "Well if that's what you've decided."

"It is." She replied with a smile. She opened her mouth to speak further but before she could a yawn escaped.

Charlie squeezed her hand. "You need to rest. I'm going to fetch some of your things from home and then we can ask about checking in on Matthew again."

Duffy nodded, her eyelids already beginning to droop. Leaning down Charlie gave her a tender, lingering kiss before quietly leaving the room.

Arriving downstairs, Charlie briefly scanned the carpark before realising that his car was still parked outside Megan's house. He sighed as he walked around to the main entrance and eventually managed to hire a taxi. On giving the destination Charlie saw the driver's eyes light up with recognition.

"Ah you know Ted?"

Not really in the mood to chat, Charlie replied, "I used to work with his wife." before resting his head back against the seat and closing his eyes.

Thankfully the taxi driver got the hint and left him to his own thoughts until they arrived at the house. Charlie thanked and paid the driver before climbing out the taxi. Strolling over to his car, he unlocked it and threw his jacket on the passenger seat before driving the familiar route home.

Arriving home he surveyed the mess that greeted him as he walked through the downstairs. They'd been running late for the meeting at Megan's so hadn't had time to tidy up after eating before they'd had to dash out. Charlie picked up the plates from the table and carried them through to the kitchen. He was about the scrape the remaining food from them into the bin when it struck him quite how much there was left on Duffy's plate. She'd never had a particularly big appetite but she'd barely eaten three or four mouthfuls of her meal the previous evening. Once more Charlie internally berated himself for not noticing. Deep down, of course, he knew that there could have been no way of predicting what was going to happen, his training told him that, but he still felt responsible for not noticing that something was clearly amiss with her and insisting that she be checked over at the hospital rather than going to the meeting.

Charlie sighed as he finished clearing the plates and placed them by the sink to be washed up later. Leaving the kitchen he walked up the stairs to their bedroom. He reached under the bed and pulled out the hospital bag that Duffy had been preparing over the previous couple of weeks. Checking the contents he added a couple more things before closing it and slinging the strap over his shoulder.

When Charlie arrived back at the hospital he was surprised to see Duffy sat in a wheelchair rather than in the bed where he'd left her sleeping barely a couple of hours previously. Placing the bag on the bed he turned to face her.

"What are you doing out of bed?" He asked, his tone revealing a hint of frustration.

"Waiting for you." She replied calmly.

"Have you ok'd this with your doctor?" He questioned, sighing at the glare she gave him in response. He held his hands up in surrender and moved to take hold of the handles of the wheelchair. "We're only going to go for a short visit though." He sighed at the disgusted noise Duffy made. "You need to give yourself chance to recover." He reminded her gently as they travelled along the corridor towards the lift.

They entered the lift and Charlie didn't even have to look at her face to know she was glaring at him. Giving her the time and space to calm down he lent against the wall of the lift. Just before they reached their required floor he stepped back over towards her and placed his hand on her shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. Without saying a word she reached up and covered his hand with hers before tilting her head up to give him a small smile.

Arriving in the unit they washed their hands and made their way over to Matthew's incubator. Duffy reached her hand through the gap in the side and smiled as the little boy grasped her fingertip. Her smile soon faded, however, as she took in the sight of her son connected to monitoring leads and looking so tiny in his cot. She lowered her head as the tears began to trickle down her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled.

"Hey, come here." Charlie soothed as he placed his arm around her shoulder.

"Its all my fault." She sobbed. "I should have told you that I was struggling, that the pain was getting worse but I thought it was just the baby's position and it would go away by itself. By the time I realised it was more serious... I tried to cry out but no-one heard me."

"I should have noticed something wasn't right but I was distracted by other things. We were all too busy arguing to hear you. If Megan hadn't realised you'd been gone for so long and decided to check on you..." He paused, unable to finish that thought. "It's me that should be apologising to you, not the other way around." He brushed the tears from her cheeks. "We should head back downstairs now. You ought to get some rest before Megan comes to visit later. She'll get cross with me if you don't!"

Duffy managed a watery smile and short chuckle in response to Charlie's statement. She sighed as she gently removed her finger from her son's hand and allowed Charlie to take her back to her room. Despite her protests it wasn't long before she was fast asleep after returning to her bed. 

It was some time later when Duffy woke up and realised that she was alone in her room. The door was slightly ajar so she could hear voices from the corridor beyond. Slowly pushing herself up onto her elbows she winced slightly, frustrated that every part of her still ached as much as it did.

"Charlie?" She called out, smiling as his head instantly popped around the open door. "Why you standing in the corridor?" She questioned.

"We didn't want to wake you up. Are you feeling up to visitors?"

Duffy's smile widened as she realised he meant Megan. "Of course."

Charlie pushed open the door and re-entered the room, followed by Megan and Ewart.

"I hope you don't mind my being here, I gave Megan a lift and wanted to make sure for myself that you were doing OK." Ewart explained.

"I'm fine thanks. Hopefully won't be long before they let me go home." Duffy replied brightly.

Megan sighed, unconvinced by her young friend's words. Duffy's eyes betrayed her exhausted state and it was clear that she was once again trying to hide the discomfort she was in. The paleness of her skin tone did nothing to soothe Megan's anxieties either. "Don't be in such a rush, pet, believe me you're going to need all your strength once you bring that little boy home."

Duffy rolled her eyes and sighed. She was about to respond but before she could speak Megan continued.

"Does the handsome little chap have a name yet?"

Duffy's expression softened. "Yes he does. We've decided to call him Matthew Charles Fairhead." She replied, shooting Charlie a dirty look as he snorted at the "we".

"Oh that's lovely!" Megan exclaimed. 

"A fine choice." Ewart agreed. "I'm afraid word has gotten out around the hospital about the young man's arrival. It felt rather more like I was running a cafe today than a casualty department, the number of times I had to break up huddles of nurses stood around chattering!"

"That didn't take long." Charlie chuckled, rolling his eyes. 

"I don't know why you're both so surprised, that place is terrible for gossip!" Duffy remarked.

"It is. In fact I overhead a 'guess the baby's weight' discussion in the canteen earlier." Megan replied, shaking her head. 

"Five pounds and three ounces. Though it felt like more at the time!" Duffy confirmed, wincing slightly at the memory.

"It always does pet." Megan agreed, squeezing the younger woman's hand. "Just make sure you rest up and take things easy for a while, you've been through a lot recently."

"I'm fine, honestly." Duffy replied with a frustrated sigh.

"Hmm, I've heard that from you before." Megan replied, fixing Duffy with a penetrating stare. "Do you want to try that sentance again? How are you really?"

Duffy sighed once more, glancing awkwardly at Charlie and Ewart. "I really am doing OK but it would be better if everything stopped aching quite as much." She reluctantly admitted.

"It would if you took the pain medication the doctors wanted to give you." Charlie pointed out, frustration clear in his tone.

"It makes me sleepy." Duffy complained.

Ewart exchanged a look with Megan before rising from his chair. "And on that note I think it's best that we leave now and let you get some rest."

Megan nodded and stood up. She lent over and gently patted Duffy's shoulder. "Take the medicine, it's there to help."

Charlie followed them out into the corridor after they bid Duffy goodbye. He turned to walk over to the nurse's station. "I'll go talk to the doctor now and make her take them." He reassured them.

Megan and Ewart watched as Charlie strode determinedly down the corridor away from them. They exchanged a look and sighed, they didn't fancy his chances when he got back into Duffy's room but it had to be done. He was the only one who had half a chance of making her listen afterall.


	13. Chapter 13

"Ewart and Megan will be there. I don't need to go. I'd much rather stay here and keep you company." Charlie explained. 

"Keep an eye on me more like!"

"Duffy..!" He sighed.

"This meeting is important Charlie, the future of the night shift depends on it. I wish I could be there myself but I can't so you have to go for both of us." Duffy reasoned.

"I don't like leaving you here on your own." He countered.

"I won't be on my own, I've got a visitor coming." Duffy replied, her voice light but Charlie noticed the look that briefly crossed her eyes.

"Oh I see, she's finally back from her holiday then?" He asked sarcastically. 

"Charlie!"

"Its been three days Duffy!"

"It was a church funded coach trip. She was one of the organisers. She had no way of getting back sooner."

"Her only daughter gives birth five weeks early and she can't get back from the seaside? Really?" Charlie mocked.

"And you wonder why I don't want you here this afternoon?" Duffy shot back.

"You can't keep us apart forever Duffy, I'll have to meet her one day."

Duffy closed her eyes and sighed, one hand rising to massage her temple. "Not today though. Please!"

It took several minutes of further discussion but Charlie finally caved in and agreed to go to the meeting. Duffy was just finishing her lunch as she heard the door to her room open. She looked up and sighed, bracing herself for what was to come.

"I thought that place you worked in was a hell hole but it's practically the Ritz compared to this place!" Kate remarked as she cast her eyes around the small room. "So where is he then?"

"He's still in the spec..." Duffy began but her mum continued to speak over her.

"At least your father had the decency to wait til I'd gotten you home from the hospital before he left us!"

"Mum!" Duffy replied in shock as she realised that her mum meant Charlie. "There was an important work meeting he had to go to this afternoon. He'll be back later though." She attempted to explain calmly.

"Work? Well that's a new one on me, it's usually other women that are the cause." A thought struck her. "Or was that just a convenient excuse because he knew I was visiting this afternoon?"

"No! This meeting could get the night shift reopened. We've been working so hard for months to convince the trust that it's needed. I made him go along." Duffy explained, desperate for her mum to understand. 

"The night shift? So Charlie is a doctor?" Kate questioned, her tone instantly changing.

Duffy rolled her eyes. "No he's a nurse." She sighed as she saw the look of disappointment that instantly washed over her mum's expression.

"Oh."

"He's a charge nurse so he earns decent money if that's what you're worried about." Duffy replied sarcastically.

"So Marge was right then."

"What?" Duffy questioned, utterly confused by the switch in direction.

"Her Trish was saying that you'd been secretly sleeping with your boss, despite the fact that he had a fiance, and that's how you got pregnant. I defended you! I said that my Lisa might not be the brightest but she's not stupid enough to allow herself to be taken advantage of like that!" Kate was too caught up in her rant to notice the sharp intake of breath nor the wild look that flashed across her daughter's eyes. "The things I've had to listen to people saying about our family! I have my reputation to think about! I want to have words with this Charlie, because the moment you are out of hospital the two of you are going to that registry office and making things official and above board, do you understand?"

Silence hung in the air for several moments until Duffy found her voice once more. "Because marriage worked so well for you and my dad didn't it?" Duffy shot back bitterly.

"Don't you dare take that tone with me young lady!" Kate reprimanded. "You think you've got it all figured out don't you? That it'll be all sunshine and roses! Life doesn't work like that Lisa."

"You think I don't know that?" Duffy retorted, her voice catching slightly as she spoke. She took a breath in an attempt to hide the trauma that lay behind her words. "Charlie and me are happy just the way we are mum and if you can't accept that then you know where the door is."

Furious, Kate prepared to leave. Standing in the doorway she couldn't resist one last comment towards her daughter. "I'll come back when you've decided to start behaving like a grown up."

Duffy watched her mother leave and once certain she was out of sight Duffy picked up the magazine that sat on the bedside cabinet, intending to read for a bit to take her mind off everything but found she couldn't settle. With an angry sigh she launched the magazine at the opposite wall, folded her arms and stared at the crumpled pages on the floor. Why did her mum insist on being so stubborn and frustrating?!

Charlie dropped the papers he held down onto the table with a frustrated sigh as the chairman called for a brief break. The meeting had been going around in circles for over an hour. Scooping the papers back up he followed Ewart and Megan outside into the hallway where they were met by the union rep.

"This isn't working." Ewart began without preamble.

"Well what do you suggest?" She replied. "We're fast running out of options." There was a pause whilst they all comtemplated the situation. "Unless..." She began before pausing.

"Unless what?" Megan queried.

"We need to show the human impact of the closure of the permanent night shift."

"That's an excellent idea." Ewart replied. "But who?"

"I'd be willing to speak." Charlie suggested.

Ewart and Megan exchanged a concerned look. "Are you sure that would be a good idea Charlie?" She asked, reaching out a hand to rest on his forearm.

Noticing the look they'd shared Charlie sighed in frustration. "I'll be fine, honestly. Duffy insisted that I come here today to speak for both of us. Now's my chance to speak for her and Matthew." Without waiting for a response from his friends, Charlie turned and strode determinedly back into the meeting room.

Megan looked over at Ewart once more, concern written all over her features. She feared this wouldn't end well but also knew Charlie well enough to know that his mind was made up. She sighed and followed her younger friend with resignation.

For the next few minutes the meeting carried on in much the same vein as before the break until Charlie spotted his chance to interject.

"Excuse me Mr Chairman, I keep hearing you talk about costs but I don't think you've considered one vital cost associated with closing the permanent night shift."

"And what cost might that be, Mr..?" He checked his notes.

"Fairhead, sir. I was the charge nurse on the night shift at Holby City hospital."

"Ah yes, Mr Fairhead. So what is this cost that you feel my colleagues and I haven't considered?"

"The human cost. The impact on the patients due to having to travel the extra distance to St James' or other hospitals."

"Its only an extra 20 minutes..." The chairman began. 

"Only?! Only?! In an emergency any delay can be critical!" 

"I understand that Mr Fairhead but..." 

"Do you understand? Do you really? I highly doubt that!" Charlie's voice increased in pitch as the emotions he'd bottled up started to spill forth. "You've not had to watch the woman you love nearly bleed to death on the back seat of a car because the nearest casualty department is closed so you've had to travel to the other side of town so she can be treated! Then sit helpless whilst she's operated on and spends a night in a coma. All whilst your newborn son is in the special baby unit because he was born too early!" Charlie paused, gasping for breath, his throat hoarse from shouting, his eyes filling with tears. 

"I can understand your concerns Mr Fairhead, especially on such personal and professional levels. But, the distance out of the centre of the city, at St. James' far out weighs the necessity of Holby City Hospital's central casualty department." The chairman explained calmly. 

"You can't possibly..." Charlie interrupted. 

"I haven't finished Mr Fairhead. The costs of running the casualty department outside of the city, not only takes away the pressure on the ambulance services, it also reduces time spent trying to get to Holby City through the increasing traffic in the centre of town."

"She wasn't breathing by the time we got to St James'. It took four units of blood just to stabilise her enough to be taken to theatre where they very nearly had to perform a hysterectomy whilst pumping three more units into her. As it is we still don't know for sure if she'll be able to have any more children. She's not well enough to be here today or I'd make you look her in the eye and justify your cost cutting measures!"

A shocked silence fell over the room for several moments, only punctuated by the sounds of Charlie trying to regulate his breathing. The chairman was about to speak again but Ewart interrupted.

"I have seen the human cost of such decisions time and time again in my career as a doctor, including the night that Charlie spoke about. What he didn't mention was the fact that the young lady in question is a very talented nurse, one of our own, who was let down by a system that cares more about budgets than patient lives!"

As Ewart spoke Megan rose from her seat and moved over to Charlie, placing her arm around his shoulders and gently but firmly guiding him from the room. As they entered the corridor she closed the door behind them and turned towards her younger friend.

"I let them down didn't I?" Charlie sighed.

Megan took hold of his face in her hands. "Not at all. You spoke from the heart. Those pen pushers needed to hear that. I just wish you hadn't had to be the one to tell them." She pulled him into a hug and held him tight for several moments whilst he tried to compose himself. When he eventual began to quieten Megan stepped back slightly and smiled softly. "Let's get you back to that family of yours, I'll give Ted a call to take you."

Charlie started to argue, to explain that his place was here fighting alongside his friends but he quickly gave up. If he was honest with himself he wanted to be as far away as possible from this place right now. He just wanted to be with Duffy and Matthew, that was where he truly belonged.


	14. Chapter 14

Staring down into the cot Duffy watched as her son slept soundly. Even though it had been almost a week now she still couldn't believe he was finally home. Despite his traumatic start in life he was now thriving, weighing in at 7lbs 13oz and growing every day.

Reaching the top of the stairs Charlie chuckled to himself, not in the least bit surprised to find Duffy once again in Matthew's nursery. Entering the room he attempted to be quiet enough so as not to awaken his son but still make enough noise that he wouldn't startle Duffy either.

Sensing Charlie's presence behind her Duffy looked up just as he placed his hands gently on her shoulders. Tilting her head to one side she rested her cheek against the back of his hand.

"Why don't you come downstairs and have a cuppa while he's sleeping? Give yourself a break?" He whispered.

"No, I'd rather stay up here. That way I can hear him if he needs me." She countered.

Charlie sighed and rolled his eyes. He'd known she was going to say that. He gave her shoulders a quick squeeze before stepping out of the room. He reappeared seconds later holding what looked like two walkie talkies. He plugged one into the wall and placed it next to the Matthew's cot before holding the other out towards Duffy.

"Plug that in by the bed and go have a lie down. You'll be able to hear him if he needs you." He could see she remained unconvinced. "Please get some rest or you'll end up back in hospital." He warned. 

Duffy glared, preparing to argue but as she opened her mouth to speak a yawn escaped. "Fine!" she whispered sharply, snatching the monitor from his hand and skulking from the room. Charlie shook his head before once more heading back downstairs.

About an hour later Charlie was roused from a semi asleep state on the sofa by the sound of knocking from the front door. Concerned that the noise would awaken Duffy and Matthew he quickly dragged himself up and opened the door. On the doorstep stood a woman he didn't recognise. If he had to hazard a guess he'd say she was in her mid-forties. Before he had chance to ask who she was she spoke.

"Oh at last I get to meet the ever elusive Charlie!" She sneered.

"I... Erm..?" He stammered.

Seeing Charlie's obvious confusion Kate rolled her eyes and sighed.

Recognition suddenly lit up on Charlie's face. He'd seen that expression many times before. "Ah, you must be Duffy's mum! She didn't mention you'd be visiting today."

"Lisa is my daughter yes." Kate replied sternly.

Charlie forced a smile. "They're both asleep right now but you're welcome to come in." He stepped aside to allow her to enter. "Would you like a tea or coffee?"

"Tea will be fine." She replied as she made her way into the hallway. Charlie sighed inwardly, closing the door, rubbing his hand across the back of his neck as he did so. He glanced cautiously towards the stairs before heading through to the kitchen.

He'd barely gotten the kettle filled and switched on before Kate began her interrogation.

"So when is the wedding?" She demanded.

"What wedding?" He replied, deciding to play dumb but knowing it probably wouldn't work.

"The one where you give my daughter and grandson some respectability." Kate shot back.

"We're happy the way we are." Charlie explained calmly. 

"You mean you're happy with things the way they are. You've got it made - all the fun bits of having a family without any of the strings to tie you down too firmly." Kate accused. 

"Have you even spoken to Duffy about any of this? Because I don't think marriage is what she wants." Charlie countered, trying his best to continue to stay calm, for Duffy's sake if nothing else, the last thing she needed right now was him starting a fight with her mum in their kitchen.

"And how would you know that? You've barely known her five minutes! I'm her mother, I raised her to behave properly!"

"Some mother! Where have you been this last year? She really needed you, she's been through so much yet you weren't there. She's struggled and suffered but you were too wrapped up in your own life to notice!"

"What are you talking about? What's happened to her?"

Realising he'd said too much already, Charlie panicked, desperately trying to think of how to stop the situation from escalating further. He didn't have chance to speak though as Kate suddenly rose from her seat and strode into the hallway.

"I want to speak to my daughter right now. Alone!" She demanded.

"She's asleep. Please keep your voice down before..." Too late. Matthew's cries began to echo down the stairs. Charlie rushed to go get him but only made it as far as the third step before he heard Duffy's sleepy sounding voice speak to their son.

"Its OK, mama's got you. What's upset you?" She soothed as she headed towards the stairs to find Charlie.

As her concentration was on calming her crying baby Duffy didn't immediately notice her mother stood just behind Charlie until she spoke.

"I don't appreciate hearing from your commitment shy sorry excuse for a boyfriend that you've been having problems! You should have come to me Lisa."

Duffy looked from her mum to Charlie and back again a couple of times, her face a mask of confusion. "Huh?" She questioned, as she tried to sooth Matthew who was still crying and fussing in her arms.

"Oh give him here for goodness sakes!" Kate demanded, aspirated with the amount of noise her grandson was making.

"No, he's just hungry that's all." Duffy shot back.

"I'll go make him a bottle." Charlie quickly commented, thankful for an excuse to escape the tense atmosphere that was developing in the hallway.

"You're bottle feeding him?" Kate questioned, her distaste for the idea plain to hear.

"Yes." Duffy's reply sounded firm and confident but inside the guilt once again began to gnaw at her. She felt this was yet another way in which she had let her son down and didn't need her mother highlighting her failures. Her confidence further disintegrated as she felt her mother's judgmental gaze begin it's assessment of her.

"I was up all night with Matthew..." Duffy began weakly, attempting to head off her mother's criticisms. 

"He's six weeks old Lisa, you should be getting him into a routine by now." Kate chided.

"I'm trying mum. He's only been home for a few days, we're still getting used to everything."

"Well you need to try harder. Especially if you're still entertaining the crazy idea of going back to work." Kate paused, shaking her head. "You also might want to take a look at your appearance. Believe me, men don't find frumpy, messy women attractive."

Duffy opened her mouth to reply but all that came out was a strangled sounding sob. She didn't want to show how much her mother's comments had stung her but her emotions were still all over the place. She took a breath. "I..." She began but anything she might have said was cut off as Charlie returned from the kitchen carrying a bottle. She reached out and quickly snatched it from his hand before swiftly turning and dashing back up the stairs without a word.

Charlie watched her leave, confused by her sudden outburst. He looked back towards Kate for an explanation but the older woman's face was unreadable.

"I... Erm... I'm guessing she wants to try and get Matthew resettled. I... Er... Best go give her a hand." He turned to follow Duffy up the stairs but then paused and turned back to Kate. "I'll see you out first though."

A couple of minutes later Charlie finally reached the top of the stairs and braced himself for what he might find as he could still hear Matthew's screams. Popping his head around the nursery door he found the room empty. He then heard a sob break through during a brief pause in his son's cries. The noise had come from their bedroom.

Entering the room Charlie sighed sadly at the scene that greeted him. Matthew lay in the centre of the bed, his face red from screaming, his little arms and legs wriggling in frustration. His bottle lay on its side next to him. What drew Charlie's attention most, however, was Duffy who lay curled up in a ball on the bed sobbing. What the hell had happened whilst he'd been in the kitchen? Crossing the room he gently picked up his son and held him against his chest, rubbing his back til he calmed enough to take his bottle.

Duffy briefly looked up at the sounds of Matthew feeding. Why hadn't he done that when she'd tried? Charlie smiled at her but she couldn't meet his gaze. What did he see in her? She was clearly a total failure. She buried her head back in the duvet and began sobbing once more.

Charlie was still at a loss to explain her sudden shift in mood. He'd considered the idea that it could just be that she was so tired or her hormones bouncing around all over the place but something deep down told him it was more than that. He sighed, why wouldn't she open up to him? He thought they'd fixed this, that he'd shown her that she could trust and rely on him but it seemed he'd been mistaken. Charlie was pulled from his thoughts as Matthew finished his bottle and began to squirm in his father's arms. He shifted the baby up over his shoulder and gently rubbed his back, pleased that he didn't bring up his feed when he burped.

As Matthew settled back in his arms Charlie looked over at Duffy. She'd stopped crying but had yet to look up again. He thought she might have fallen asleep but then she sniffled. He reached out a hand and gently rubbed her shoulder.

"Duf? Sweetheart, please talk to me. What's wrong? Did you have an argument with your mum?" He questioned gently.

"No." She mumbled into the sheet, still refusing to met Charlie's gaze.

"Something has clearly upset you. You were fine when I went to make up the bottle."

"I'm just tired. That's all." She insisted.

Charlie placed the now fast asleep Matthew back on the middle of the bed and sat down next to where Duffy lay. He brushed away the strands of hair that had stuck to her reddened, tear soaked cheeks and tucked them behind her ear. "I want to help but I can't if you don't tell me what's wrong."

"She thinks I'm useless." Duffy sighed, her voice barely a whisper.

"So the two of you did have an argument..?"

"She's right."

"What?"

"I am useless."

Charlie sighed, placing a finger under her chin and tilting it so she'd look at him properly. "You are not useless." He told her firmly but gently.

"I couldn't even get Matti to take his bottle!" She sighed, utterly defeated.

"I think babies just like to play up when they know you're struggling." Charlie shrugged. "He's asleep now so I think we should pop him down in his cot and have a nap ourselves. I don't know about you but I'm exhausted."

She reluctantly agree, crawling under the duvet as Charlie took Matthew through to the nursery. Within moments of her head hitting the pillow she was asleep.

Charlie sighed as he arrived back in the bedroom. He wrapped his arms around her as he got into the bed. "You're doing amazing." He whispered. "I just wish you could see that." He placed a kiss on her cheek and went to sleep alongside her.


	15. Chapter 15

Duffy willed her fingers to stop shaking as she attempted to pin her cap into place. It was her first shift back after having Matthew and she couldn't work out why she was so nervous.

Her mum was staying at the house to look after the baby overnight - something that neither Charlie nor Kate was particularly keen about but there was no other option. Charlie's stepmother Elizabeth had refused to help out, insisting that a mother's place was at home with her children not at work. Duffy had faced that attitude a lot recently. The only people who seemed to understand were Charlie and Megan. They realised that nursing wasn't just a job to Duffy, it was her passion, her calling.

Megan had offered to have Matthew on the nights they weren't both working but due to the nature of their jobs those occasions were unfortunately few and far between. The older nurse had said it would be good practise, allowing her to refresh her memory on being around babies before the impending arrival of her first grandchild who was due in the spring.

Duffy turned as she heard the staffroom door open. She smiled at the young student nurse who entered.

"Hi! You must be Duffy. I'm Karen. The other nurses have been telling me all about you!"

"Yeh, that's me." Duffy smiled awkwardly. "I dread to think what you've been told..."

"Oh you're very popular! I'd never guess that you'd just had a baby though."

"Well he's five months old now." Duffy explained.

"Oh I bet he's so cute!"

"When he's not being grumpy..!" Duffy chuckled. "Anyway I best get on, don't want to get in trouble with the boss on my first day back!"

"Yeh best not, Charlie has been such a moody git recently. I think it's coz he's just quit smoking." Karen smirked.

"Oh has he now..?" There was an edge in Duffy's voice but Karen totally missed it.

"Yeh, it's a shame really. I mean, I know smoking is really unhealthy but it kinda adds to that Jack the lad thing he's got going on with those gorgeous blue eyes and cheeky smile..!" Karen swooned. "I don't know, I think maybe he likes me too, it's tricky to know as he's such a flirt anyway." She giggled.

"Oh I wouldn't know." Duffy replied shortly, heading towards the door. She turned back as she opened it. "Your cap is crooked and your hair isn't tied back properly, you better sort that out before you go on your shift, which, by the way, starts in two minutes."

Charlie looked up grinning broadly as Duffy walked up to the admin desk. "Well aren't you a sight for sore eyes in that uniform!" He winked.

Before Duffy could reply she heard her name being called across the room by Megan who quickly came over to give her a big hug.

"Oh pet it's so wonderful to have you back." Megan smiled.

"I've decided to team you up with Karen tonight Duffy. Thought it would be good for her to be paired with one of my best nurses." Charlie smiled.

Duffy smiled back but it was clearly forced. There was little time to discuss the matter though as the department was already starting to fill up with patients.

The first two patients Duffy and Karen saw were straightforward - a broken arm and a burnt hand. Duffy had the feeling that she was being purposefully eased back in gently and that was why she'd been assigned to babysitting the student nurse.

Duffy struggled to hold her tongue as Karen was badly grating on her nerves, not seeming to take her work particularly seriously - too busy chatting and flirting with anything in trousers. 

If she was honest with herself, it probably wouldn't have bothered Duffy half as much if Karen's main target hadn't been Charlie...

Finally Duffy had had enough. "Karen!" She remarked sharply as the younger woman's attention wandered yet again. "You're here to learn, not drown in your own drool!"

"Sorry!" Karen blushed. "You've got to admit he's cute though." She giggled.

"A word of advice - if I was you I wouldn't bother getting too many ideas, he's very much spoken for! Now you might want to watch me stitch this cut because I want you to do the next one."

Karen pulled a face behind Duffy's back before reluctantly turning her attention to what the other nurse was doing. She'd thought tonight was going to be fun..! So much for Duffy supposedly being bubby and chatty... 

The chance for Karen to practise her sewing skills came with the next patient - a man in his thirties who had been slashed on the shoulder with a Swiss army knife.

At first Duffy's attention had been focused on the tray of equipment, ensuring that Karen had everything she needed and understood what was required before looking up to greet the patient.

"Hi, I'm..." The words died on Duffy's lips as the man turned to look at her. Those eyes... Eyes that still sometimes haunted her dreams nearly a year later... Her chest went tight, her hands shook. Without another word she turned and bolted from the cubicle leaving Karen stood utterly bemused.

Unsure what to do Karen apologised to the patient and went to try and find Duffy. After a couple of minutes of searching she ran into Charlie. "You seen Duffy?" She asked him.

He shook his head. "She's supposed to be with you."

"She was but then she just suddenly ran off. She's been in a right mood all shift." Karen grumbled. "She was supposed to be helping me stitch this bloke's shoulder and she just flipped out. Poor guy had already had some nutty lass go at him with a knife when he approached her on Easter steps..."

"What?!" Charlie gasped.

"I overheard the paramedics saying that when they got there she was accusing him of all sorts to the police. I don't get it, I mean, she stabbed him..!"

"Which cubicle?"

"Um... Five. Why? Are you gunna help me do the stitching?" She couldn't quite mask the excitement in her voice at the idea of working with Charlie.

"No, I'm going to deal with this myself..!" Charlie replied, heading to cubicles.

Karen shrugged and headed to the staffroom. She was about to open the door when Megan burst out, her face a mask of concern. "Have you seen Charlie?"

"Yeh... Erm... A couple of minutes ago, why?" Karen replied.

Megan glanced back towards the staffroom, the sound of crying could be heard coming from the room. "Do you know where he is now? It's urgent!"

"He went to cubicles. Said he'd deal with the patient I got lumbered with after Duffy pissed off." Karen grumbled.

"And you just let him go?!" Megan gasped.

"He's the charge nurse..." Karen shrugged.

"Oh Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Megan exclaimed, crossing herself. "You stay here, don't go in there and don't let anyone else go in there either. I'll be back as quick as I can!" She explained quickly before taking off in the direction of cubicles.

By the time she arrived in cubicles Megan didn't need to ask which cubicle the patient was in as she could hear raised voices. Yanking back the curtain she saw that Charlie had the patient by the throat.

"Charlie!" She gasped.

"I swore that if I ever got my hands on you that I would kill you!" Charlie spat at him.

"Wh..? Can't... Breath..."

"She was pregnant and you raped her! You left her lying on the ground covered in blood!"

"Charlie! Please!" Megan grabbed his shoulders and tried to pull him off. "You're strangling him!"

"She nearly lost the baby that night! My son!" Charlie couldn't even hear Megan, he was so focused on his boiling rage.

"Charlie! Please! Charlie she's crying for you." It wasn't strictly true but Megan was running short on options as the situation fast spiralled out of control.

Megan's words finally broke through the red mist that descended over Charlie. He let go just as two security guards burst into the cubicle.

"She's in the staffroom. I'll speak to the police." Megan urged.

Charlie stumbled from the cubicle in a daze, not acknowledging anything around him as he made his way to the staffroom, only stopping when he walked straight into Karen's outstretched hand.

"You can't go in there." She asserted.

"Huh?"

"M-Megan said no-one was to go in there." Karen explained, the wild look in Charlie's eyes making her uneasy.

"Get out of my way!" Charlie replied harshly through gritted teeth.

"O-ok." Karen stammered, stepping sideways as Charlie brushed past her and opened the door, catching a brief glimpse of Duffy curled up in a ball in the corner of the room before the door was slammed shut in her face.

The squeal that Duffy let out at the bang finally shattered Charlie's blind rage. Taking the few steps required to cross the room he slumped to the floor beside her, desperate to hold her, his heart breaking at how terrified she looked.

"Sweetheart, it's OK, it's me, you're OK. You're safe now." He whispered repeatedly, hoping to soothe her as she cried, rocking in a tight ball.

Eventually Megan quietly entered the room. "The police want to speak to you pet." She told Duffy gently.

"No!" Duffy screamed. "No police! Nothing happened!"

Charlie and Megan exchanged a concerned look as the older woman slowly crouched down beside them.

"The woman he raped this evening is willing to testify in exchange for the police dropping the assault charge. They're contacting previous victims to help shore up the prosecution's case. You can help put him away for a very long time."

"Nothing. Happened." The mantra of self-preserving denial was back.

"Maybe I should take you home..?" Charlie suggested gently.

"No! I'm fine." Duffy insisted.

"I agree with Charlie, it's for the best." Megan added.

"No!" Duffy asserted, clambering to her feet, still shaking like a leaf.

Standing up beside her Charlie reached out to cuddle her but she flinched away, pressing herself further into the corner of the room.

Charlie sighed sadly, running his hand through his hair and rubbing the back of his neck in agitation. All the progress she'd made, that they'd made, had been shattered instantly.

Megan squeezed Charlie's shoulder before quietly leaving the pair of them alone once more.

"Please let me help you..." Charlie whispered.

"I'm fine. I-I need to get back to work..." Duffy mumbled, attempting to straighten out her uniform and smeared make up.

"Duffy please! You're in no fit state to work..!"

"I'm fine!" She reiterated firmly before turning on her heel and storming out the staffroom.

Charlie sat down in one of the chairs, sighing as he dropped his head into his hands. There was just no getting through to her and now the wall was back up between them.


	16. Chapter 16

No matter how hard Charlie tried things didn't get any better over the following few months. In fact they got worse. Duffy had retreated into herself completely and had gotten into a habit of "accidentally" falling asleep on Matthew's nursery floor rather than in their bed with him.

He'd tried repeatedly to voice his concerns to her but she would just change the subject and bury herself deeper into her work and caring for Matthew. Charlie could see that she was burning herself out but didn't know what to do.

The anniversary of the night she was raped had been particularly horrific. She'd been plagued by flashbacks and nightmares. She'd pushed him away every time he'd come anywhere near her. He knew why but it still stung deep. He would never hurt her. It destroyed him seeing her so frightened of him even though he knew she couldn't help her behaviour.

Tonight was the night of their department Christmas party and he was frankly surprised that she'd agreed to go. There was actually still almost four weeks to go til Christmas day but the unfortunate downside of working in casualty was that you couldn't party when everyone else was or else there'd be no-one to do the inevitable patching up after they had one too many!

He looked up from playing with Matthew on his play mat as he heard footsteps on the stairs. He tried not to sigh too loudly as he took in her outfit. Her dress was black, ankle length with long sleeves and a high neckline. It also looked to be at least a size too big as it hung off her petite figure. Her hair was twisted up in a clip and, as had become a habit for her, she was heavily made up, no doubt to disguise the deep, dark shadows under her eyes. The outfit was finished off with her denim jacket and ankle boots.

She came over and picked up Matthew for a cuddle. She didn't seem keen to leave him. 

Kate came downstairs not far behind her daughter. "Give him here, I've got his bath ready. Off you both go before you're late!" She insisted, taking Matthew from Duffy's arms.

Duffy reluctantly let go of her son. "We won't be late back."

Kate nodded as she took Matthew upstairs.

"Come on, we have a party to go to!" Charlie tentatively took hold of Duffy's hand, his smile slightly forced as he noticed her flinch at the contact.

She was still tense when the taxi arrived at the country pub where the party was being held. She got out of the car and hovered awkwardly outside the entrance whilst Charlie paid the driver.

Once inside Duffy's anxiety slowly began to ebb away as the drinks started to flow.

Charlie smiled, leaning against the bar, as he heard the sound of her laughter ring out from across the room where she was sharing a joke with Megan.

"That's a sound we've not heard for some time." Ewart smiled.

"Hopefully it's a sign of better things to come." Charlie replied before taking a large gulp of his drink.

"Now all we need is a wedding for everyone to enjoy..." Ewart replied pointedly.

"Give me time!" Charlie complained, swallowing another big mouthful, the topic made him nervous.

"Your son will be a year old soon, I'd say you've had plenty of time!" Ewart retorted.

"I'm trying ok?" Charlie grumbled, finishing his drink and ordering another.

"Not hard enough it seems." Ewart replied before leaving the bar.

Charlie sighed. When would everyone realise that his hesitation wasn't because he didn't want to marry her but because he was terrified that she'd say no? 

Several drinks later Charlie wandered over to where Duffy was now drunkenly giggling with Susie. Without thinking he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend's waist and was pleasantly surprised to feel her relax into his embrace, snuggling against him as she continued her conversation. Taking a chance he began to slowly, lightly, kiss her neck.

Smirking at them Susie quickly got the hint and excused herself saying she'd see them later, laughing loudly as she headed to the bar.

"That was rude..!" Duffy giggled, turning in Charlie's arms to face him.

"I'm sure Susie'll get over it." He smirked, stroking her cheek. "In fact..." He nodded towards the bar where their friend was already busy chatting up the barman.

"She's man mad!" Duffy gasped, giggling.

"That giggle does funny things to me..!" He whispered in her ear.

"Does it now?" Duffy grinned, wiggling her eyebrows.

"You know it does!"

"Fancy some fresh air? It's awful stuffy in here..." She suggested with a wink.

"Lead the way!"

They only made it as far as the corridor before getting distracted, kissing fervently. They giggled as they stumbled backwards through a door, finding themselves in the ladies toilet.

"Oops!" He chuckled, his hands still wandering over her figure.

The substantial amount of alcohol they'd both consumed served to lower their inhibitions and unleash the pent up passions that had built up in both of them over the previous weeks.

Knowing that someone could walk in at any moment fueled their amorous intentions and they quickly found a hidden corner by the sinks. They removed only what clothes were necessary before he lifted her up onto the edge of the sink. He moaned loudly as he entered her.

They kissed passionately, grasping at each other, their moans growing louder as they fed their needs.

"Oh shit!" Charlie moaned against her lips. He tried to hold back but it was proving impossible as she clenched around his cock with each thrust.

"So good..!" She whispered hotly in his ear. 

"Marry me!" He gasped as he came moments later. 

Duffy raised her eyebrow at him as they both redressed. "You're so drunk!" She giggled. 

Charlie blushed. "I meant it. Will you marry me?"

"You're funny Charlie." She teased, attempting to straighten out her hair in the mirror. "Do I look like I've been up to no good?"

"A bit but who cares?" Charlie smirked, covering his disappointment at her reaction to his question.

"I worked up a hell of a thirst!" She giggled, grabbing hold of his hand and pulling him back into the corridor, not caring if anyone saw them leaving the toilet together.

Charlie wrapped his arms around her waist and manoeuvred her back towards the bar, tripping over each other's feet as they made their way over.

His fumbled attempt at a proposal was lost in the haze of more alcohol until it came time to travel home.

The taxi driver didn't look convinced as he pulled up beside them. Charlie was lent against the wall for balance whilst also attempting to keep an almost asleep Duffy upright beside him.

"She pukes it'll cost ya!" The driver grumbled.

"It'll be fine. Its not far..." Charlie attempted to reassure, his words slurring slightly.

"Hmm..!" The driver rolled his eyes as the couple got into the back of the taxi.

Thankfully the ride home was uneventful and they escaped without a fine. Duffy had fallen asleep so Charlie had to nudge her as they pulled up outside their home.

"Come on sleepyhead!" He chuckled.

"Urgh..!" She grumbled, half falling out of the taxi.

Charlie laughed as he attempted to haul her to her feet, ending up on his backside twice in the process causing her to burst into giggles.

Eventually they made it to the front door and, after two failed attempts at getting the key in the lock, the door suddenly opened in front of them. Not expecting it they both pitched forwards and ended up in a heap on the hall floor at Kate's feet.

"The state of you both!" Kate tutted.

The pair continued to giggle, attempting to untangle themselves from each other.

Kate lent over and closed the door behind them. "I'll be in Matthew's room." She stated firmly, leaving them still on the hallway floor and returning upstairs.

"Oops!" Duffy giggled. Deciding the stairs looked like too much effort she crawled in the direction of the lounge.

"Where you going?" Charlie asked, baffled.

"Bed!" She declared, flopping onto the sofa.

Charlie laughed, following her and making himself as comfy as he could next to her on the sofa. He turned to speak to her but she was already asleep. "Sweet dreams gorgeous." He smiled, kissing her forehead and falling asleep himself.


	17. Chapter 17

Duffy reached the end of the corridor and slowly pushed the door open. The lights were muted and it was surprisingly quiet. In her hand she carried a bunch of grapes though the thought of eating them made her feel even more ill than she already did. She desperately hoped that the feeling would pass before she was due to start work in a couple of hours time.

"Now there's a face to brighten up an ill old man's day!" Ewart declared as she entered the room.

"Hi. How you feeling?" She asked softly, removing her coat after placing the grapes and her handbag on the table, before sitting down in the armchair opposite him.

"I'm fine. Are those for me?" He reached out towards the grapes.

She nodded before shaking her head in refusal as he offered her a grape.

"You're not on another of those nonsense diets are you?" He berated gently after eating a couple of the fruit. "Because I'm pretty sure grapes are allowed."

"I'm just not hungry. Are they treating you well here?" She replied, desperate to change the subject.

"Lisa..." He sighed at the eye roll she gave in response. "Are you sure everything is OK? You look very pale and tired."

"I'm fine." She replied, repeating his earlier deflection about his own health.

"Hmm..." Ewart didn't sound convinced. "How is little Matthew?"

Duffy smiled broadly. "He's sitting up really well now and he loves eating mashed up food, can't get enough of it!"

"It won't be long before he's crawling and then things will really get interesting!"

"He keeps trying to push himself up when he's lying on his front but he's not quite strong enough yet." She smiled, taking out a photo from her bag to show Ewart.

Ewart smiled as he took the photo. It showed a now eight month old Matthew sat on a rug in just his nappy grinning with delight at the toy he held, some of his dinner still smeared on his face. He'd come a long way from the tiny premature scrap he'd been at birth - now he was a sturdy looking infant, his plump tummy and pudgy limbs crying out to be tickled and squidged. His hair had a curl to it like his father but his colouring was leaning more towards his mother. "He's such a handsome little chap." Ewart smiled, handing the photo back.

Duffy smiled indulgently, stroking her fingers across the image before putting it safely back in her bag.

"I'm glad you're all keeping well. Do you have any plans for Christmas?" Ewart added.

"I'm hoping for a quiet day just the three of us. Then see the extended family on boxing day."

"That sounds like the perfect Christmas."

"Well we'll both be working pretty much right up til the day itself so we'll both be in need of a rest."

"You look already in need of a rest." He remarked gently.

"I'm fine honestly." She retorted, trying to convince him with a smile.

"I've been a doctor far too long to be fooled so easily Duffy."

"I'm here to see how you are, not talk about me..." 

Ewart sighed, he hadn't thought he'd ever meet someone as stubborn as Megan was but Duffy sure gave her a run for her money! "The cardiac surgeon is happy with my progress, all being well I should be allowed home to recuperate soon." 

"That's great news! We've all been so worried about you." 

Ewart looked genuinely touched by the thought. "The visits from all of you have really raised my spirits. It's not fun being on the other side." 

"No its not!" Duffy chuckled softly. 

"Just goes to show how terrible we medical folks are at looking after ourselves." He replied pointedly. 

She sighed heavily, he clearly wasn't going to let it go..! "I'm probably just getting wound up over nothing..." She mumbled glancing around the room nervously.

Ewart squeezed her hand gently, attempting to reassure and encourage her to continue speaking.

"We were so drunk that night..!" She blushed, giggling softly as her gaze landed upon a group photo that sat by the bed.

"Are you referring to the Christmas party?" Ewart chuckled knowingly, following her eyeline. It hadn't missed anyone's notice just how ineberated the couple had been that night.

Duffy's blush deepened. "I'm pretty sure Charlie was even more drunk than I was - he asked me to marry him in the middle of the ladies toilet! I mean, how silly is that?!"

"He did what?!" Ewart gasped. "I don't think I want to know why he was in the ladies toilets to begin with..!"

"He, erm, got lost..." Duffy replied lamely, her cheeks burning scarlet.

"Hmm..!" Ewart didn't sound convinced but the rumours he'd heard about their antics that night were enough for him not to push it further. "And what was your answer to his proposal?"

"You act like he meant it!" Duffy laughed.

"Are you sure he didn't?"

"He was drunk." She shrugged. "He's always saying how we're happy as we are, that just because we have children together doesn't mean we have to get married..."

"Children?" Ewart repeated pointedly.

"I mean Matthew..." She stammered, picking at her fingernails as her hands lay in her lap.

"Mmhmm..." Ewart didn't sound convinced but decided to drop the subject as if what he suspected was the situation had happened then he risked getting cross. How could Charlie be so stupid?!

An awkward silence fell over them for several moments before Duffy got up hastily, wobbling slightly as she reached for her belongings. She grabbed the edge of the coffee table in an attempt to steady herself before speaking. "Is that the time?" She gasped. "I'd best get downstairs to start my shift." She forced a smile though she could see Ewart's professional gaze running over her.

"Take it easy Lisa!" He reached out to grasp her arm gently.

"I'm fine. You're the one who should be taking things easy..!" She countered, pulling her arm free before leaning down to place a soft kiss on his cheek. "I best go..." She smiled, standing up and straightening out her clothes. "Don't want Charlie getting grumpy because I'm late!" She chuckled.

After exchanging their goodbyes she left the ward and attempted to jog down the corridor and stairs - not an easy task when her head was still swimming. Reaching the bottom she lent against the wall briefly, her eyes shut tightly as she willed her stomach and vision to settle so she could go to work.

Opening her eyes once more she pushed herself upright and headed across the courtyard to the main building.

Entering the department she made a beeline straight for the staffroom to dump her belongings in her locker. Her stomach lurged once more at the smell of coffee that filled her nostrils.

"Kettle's just boiled, you want one?" Megan asked without looking up.

Duffy swallowed as she closed her locker door. "No thanks."

"You ok pet?" Megan asked as she turned around. "You look terribly peaky."

"I'm fine!" Duffy retorted, rolling her eyes.

"Hmm..." Megan replied, unconvinced, running her gaze over her younger friend.

"Sounds like the Christmas revellers have started early tonight..!" Duffy grimaced, pinning her cap in place as loud off-key singing could be heard from reception. "We could be in for a long night so we best get up and at 'em!"

Megan sighed, watching Duffy finish straightening her uniform before she dashed from the staffroom, shaking her head as she finished her coffee. Something clearly wasn't right with the young nurse but she didn't seem in a particularly forthcoming mood right now.

As predicted the shift had been incredibly busy with a seemingly never-ending stream of patients coming through the doors. 

Megan had hoped to get a chance to pop up and visit with Ewart on her break but hadn't been able to get away. Finally things started to quieten down when it was a couple of hours til the end of the shift so she decided to pop into the staffroom to make a cup of coffee before heading upstairs to visit her friend.

As she opened the door she saw that she wasn't the only one to seek sanctuary in the staffroom. She shook her head indulgently as she spotted a glimpse of Duffy's red hair draped over the arm of the sofa, her initial amusement turned to concern, however, when she realised that rather than simply resting her eyes the young woman was curled up so deeply asleep that she hadn't even flinched as Megan pottered about the room.

After making a drink Megan stepped over to the sofa and gently shook Duffy's shoulder. "Duffy, pet, wakey wakey!" She murmured softly. Receiving only a grunt in reply she shook harder. "You need to get up, either to go back to work or go home!"

Duffy's eyes reluctantly opened. "Alright, alright! I was just resting for a moment." She grumbled as she sat up, her stomach lurching in retaliation to the sudden movement.

"Woah, steady!" Megan gasped, reaching out as she saw Duffy start to sway.

Duffy brushed her concern away. "I need to go back to work!" She managed to stutter as she staggered to her feet and headed back out into the department.

Megan sighed, that was the second time Duffy had run off on her that night, something was clearly very wrong, she just hoped that whatever it was would get resolved before things got any worse but feared that that was expecting too much when it came to Duffy.


	18. Chapter 18

It was mid-morning on Christmas day but so far only Charlie and Matthew had made it downstairs. Charlie had made breakfast for the two of them and they were now sat playing on the lounge carpet with some toys, the stack of presents hidden from view as Charlie knew Duffy would kill him if he let Matthew open them before she was awake and dressed.

A couple of times he thought he'd heard movement upstairs but she still hadn't appeared.

"Mummy must be very tired." Charlie told Matthew. "She's been working so hard recently."

Matthew merely smiled and babbled in response.

"I hope she likes her present." Charlie continued as Matthew shook his rattle. "I worry that she'll laugh at me like last time. How do you think I can convince mummy to take me seriously? You got any ideas Matty?" He laughed as Matthew bashed the rattle on the floor. "I'll take that as a no..!"

Another half hour passed and Matthew was starting to become bored and restless. "How about we take mummy a cuppa?" Charlie suggested as he scooped the tot up off the floor and into his arms.

Balancing his son on his hip Charlie reboiled the half full kettle and made a cup of coffee which he then took upstairs. Entering the bedroom he placed the mug on the bedside table and sat Matthew down on the bed to play.

"Merry Christmas sweetheart." Charlie whispered softly in her ear.

Her face wrinkled as she began to wake up, taking in a deep breath as she yawned and stretched. Her eyes suddenly grew wide and she lurched from the bed and out onto the landing. 

Charlie sat utterly confused on the bed for several seconds, the sound of the bathroom door ricoheting off the wall swiftly followed by violent retching. "Stay there." He told Matthew before moving towards the bathroom. "Sweetheart?" 

"Go away..!" She groaned, slumped against the toilet, her head hanging over it.

Charlie edged back slightly at the sharp tone in Duffy's voice. "I'll get you a glass of water." He mumbled, reaching around her to get to the sink.

She groaned softly as she retched again, reluctantly accepting the cup, wriggling away from Charlie's hand as he tried to place it on her forehead to check if she had a temperature.

There was suddenly a rustling sound from the bedroom followed by Matthew's disgruntled sounding cries.

Charlie got up from the bathroom floor and dashed into the bedroom, closely followed by Duffy who arrived at the bedroom door just in time to see Charlie rescue Matthew who was dangling upside down off the bed, seconds away from falling onto his head on the floor.

"Charlie!" Duffy gasped, pushing away from the door frame and snatching the little boy from his arms. "You know you shouldn't leave him on the bed!"

"You were sick..." Charlie countered weakly.

"He could have fallen and hit his head!" She ranted, running her hands over Matthew to ensure he was unharmed. "Just go downstairs!"

Charlie sighed but did as she demanded. He couldn't seem to do anything right lately!

Duffy sat down on the bed. "What are we going to do Matty?" She whispered before realising that he'd fallen asleep snuggled against her shoulder. "Looking after you is hard enough work as it is..." She sighed, her free hand coming to rest on her slightly swollen stomach. She still had no idea how she was going to tell Charlie...

By the time she'd put Matthew down in his cot to continue napping, had a shower and gotten dressed, Charlie had finished tidying the downstairs, hoping that doing so would help him claw his way out of the doghouse in her eyes.

"Hi." He smiled sheepishly, noticing she was watching him from the doorway. "You feeling better now?"

"A bit yeh." She smiled, her bad mood with him dissipating as she took in his bright blue eyes and boyish grin. She moved to sit on the sofa and patted the spot next to her. "Charlie..."

"Would you like your Christmas present while it's just the two of us?" He asked as he sat down, distracting her from what she was about to say.

Her eyes lit up at the mention of a present. Despite still not feeling completely well she had a childlike glee when it came to Christmas that refused to be dampened. She nodded excitedly.

Charlie reached down the side of the sofa and handed her a small giftbag.

She opened it and looked at him with a raised eyebrow as she lifted out a small jewellery box.

"Open it..." He encouraged with a smile, attempting to cover his nervousness at how she was going to react.

Her eyes were like saucers as she opened the box, revealing a diamond ring.

"Promise not to laugh at me this time..?" Charlie added.

"You were actually serious?!" Duffy gasped.

"Of course I was serious..!"

"But... You were totally hammered..!"

"I was worried you'd say no so I decided to load up on a bit of Dutch courage..."

"A bit.?!" She snorted.

"OK, a lot..!" He laughed, blushing slightly. "So what's your answer..?"

"Depends on the question as you haven't asked me anything yet..!" She pointed out with a chuckle.

Charlie's blush deepened as he gently took the box from her hands and moved to kneel on the carpet. "Will you marry me?" He asked, his eyes betraying his nerves.

She opened her mouth to reply but they were interrupted by Matthew starting to cry upstairs.

Watching Duffy automatically jump up from the sofa at the sound Charlie rubbed the back of his neck, feeling a little awkward and embarrassed still knelt on the floor.

She turned to leave but then stopped, lent down and kissed him softly. "Yes." She whispered, kissing him again before dashing up the stairs to fetch Matty, bursting into giggles when she returned a couple of minutes later to find Charlie hadn't moved. Juggling the tot onto her hip she sat back down on the sofa and held out her left hand so Charlie could slide the ring into place. "You can get up now..!" She teased as she held her hand up to admire the sparkling gemstone.

Matthew started to fidget on his mother's lap, bored at the lack of attention being paid to him.

"I think someone would like to open his presents now too, he's been waiting very patiently." Charlie chuckled, reaching over to tickle his son's chin as he sat back down on the sofa.

"Oh I'm sorry, has mummy kept you waiting too long.?!" Duffy cooed as she moved Matthew to sit on the floor, joining him there as Charlie retrieved the presents.

Despite the varying exciting presents he'd been given by family and friends the main focus of Matthew's interest, like that of most small children, was on the wrapping paper which he scrunched in his hands whilst squealing with delight. 

His parents both tried for a couple of hours to interest him in the toys but the only thing that tore his focus away from the paper was when Duffy placed a plate full of mashed up Christmas dinner on the tray of his highchair. Grinning from ear to ear he dug in excitedly with both hands, managing to eat a fair amount despite smearing it all over his face, hands, clothes and the highchair in the process!

Suitably worn out by the day of excitement Matthew soon fell asleep on his father's chest, his half full bottle of milk dropping from his mouth as he dozed off. He was soon joined by his mum who fell asleep on Charlie's shoulder midway through an old Christmas film that was being shown on the TV. Reticent to move them as they looked so comfy Charlie kissed them both softly, whispered "Merry Christmas" and allowed himself to join them in their slumber. It had been the best Christmas he'd had for a very long time.


End file.
